i see many threads here when the poster has clear doubts abt their prospect future partners.they clearly see ,we clearly see they hav compatibility issues but they still wanna keep sticking to THAT relation.why do most of us take such risks??
- Is it the comfort level or fear to take new venues so keep working on a disastrous relation
- Is it desperation that forces one to grab on any opportunity one seek
- Are we exicted to take such partners as some challenges
- or are we over confident that we can save the world?
wats ur take on this?
i seriously hope we can help these posters but we just can’t
Re: Risky partnerships
I think culture plays a strong role. Once the engagement happens, it's still a taboo to break it off and so many people (girls mostly) just stick it out to save face and avoid being marginalized by the wagging tongues in the desi community. It's so sad! I have always said being single is much much much better than being in an unhappy marriage.
Re: Risky partnerships
i mean if these issues occur after u r married n become a parent its totally understandable but during engagement period....one should just run as fast as they can.Afterall Allah has a way for everyone.and then wats the point of engagement??
i see many threads here when the poster has clear doubts abt their prospect future partners.they clearly see ,we clearly see they hav compatibility issues but they still wanna keep sticking to THAT relation.why do most of us take such risks??
- Is it the comfort level or fear to take new venues so keep working on a disastrous relation
- Is it desperation that forces one to grab on any opportunity one seek
- Are we exicted to take such partners as some challenges
- or are we over confident that we can save the world?
wats ur take on this?
i seriously hope we can help these posters but we just can't
Excellent thread
- comfort level
- yes, desparation
- on some level....holding on to the facade of what they were.. not accepting that u could have been wrong, or that things have canged
- and what every woman thinks she can do..change a man.
Re: Risky partnerships
Fear of family, relatives, being ostracized, people (mostly aunties) gossiping, the thought that now that u have broken ur engagement u won't get a good rishta or ur sisters won't get a good rishta, etc. It's just a sad part of our culture.
Re: Risky partnerships
I think some posters here dont actually have big issues but make it big for the entertainment value on this forum. They seem to post incessantly about their concerns etc...making them sound very thick but they are doing it deliberate for the attention
Excellent thread
- comfort level
- yes, desparation
- on some level....holding on to the facade of what they were.. not accepting that u could have been wrong, or that things have canged
- and what every woman thinks she can do..change a man.
yes most girls even guys think they can change their partners with love n effort but reality hits after several yrs.its not always nice girls ending up with jerks i'm talking abt men here too.theres one male poster here too trying to bring his nikkahed wife to his track.even though i sincerely wish him gud.i know examples of 2 close males where they picked these girls everyone was against .however they kept arguing"the girl needs them n after marriage things will b changed".one ended up in divorce after 2 kids n 7 yrs of marriage.other is still stuck though convinced of his mistake now.Its clear if someones not "that into u"they'll never giv up themselves for u no matter how hard u try.
Fear of family, relatives, being ostracized, people (mostly aunties) gossiping, the thought that now that u have broken ur engagement u won't get a good rishta or ur sisters won't get a good rishta, etc. It's just a sad part of our culture.
i doubt its the general society.i think its our parents n siblings.the way we were brought up n giving same values to our kids.its our own moms telling us every girl has to scarifice n shaadi k baad sub theek ho jata hai.its our sisters saying itna acha rishta milla hai qadar nahi hai.its our dads n big brothers watching things but letting the ladies of the house be in control of the situation.Wats the responsibility of parents in these cases.y they just act as watchers n not doers?i'm in fear now that will i b same as these moms when my daughters grow up coz yes rishta probs will still be there may b even worse.yes i hav also grown listening these arguements"shaadi k baad sub theek ho jata hai. early years r always tough"we all need a reality chk n positive minds coming forward.