Match made in heaven? Our partner is pre-written in our kismet?
OR
Do we choose? It is up to us? We write our kismet?
Lets say if we choose then why do people say that its already in our kismet? And if at all it is written in our kismet then why is it in our religion that a girl and a boy should be asked for their choice whether he or she really wants to marry this person or not?
It mostly comes from the older generation that rishtay to pehle say hi teh hotein hain etc… The reason behind them saying this could be because in older days they werent asked and were forced into marriage??
I think we design our own destiny and fate by the choices that we make. They are some place that we are meant to go to or something we are meant to have or be or do. aur rahi baat marriage rishton ki jo be hota hai kismat main likha hota we actually make it happen. its a long discussion one can never be satisfied with it so leave it on Allah. you can set yourself free from karma or destiny or kismat theories if you want to.
I think it's very difficuilt to say... in my own case let me tell you a simple belief i hold.
I believe your destiny is pre-determined, however it is as a path which you can follow or not and thats down to you.
When i was a child in Pakistan i remmber very little of my poor education except that when being beaten by the rotten masters i was always facing a poster which said:
"Succes in life is not a destination, but the begining of a journey"
My first marriage was an arranged one which all went superbly and for the first few years life was great... until tragedy struck and then for many years i was a wanderer without hope or so it seemed.
I tried many things and lived life like a mere shadow... in desperation i was shifted out to a new world to try something different... life had always been hard but i too was born into a hardy strain and my blood was that of a soldier.
Today i am a married man. I have not been married again for long.. infact i'ts been out of the blue and i feel a new lease of life has been given to me... in the end i am a firm believer that this was all written out before i was born and that this is the way i was destined to learn and understand what i can of this world to serve my purpose on here till time comes i have a mission elsewhere in other worlds.
Match made in heaven? Our partner is pre-written in our kismet?
OR
Do we choose? It is up to us? We write our kismet?
Lets say if we choose then why do people say that its already in our kismet? And if at all it is written in our kismet then why is it in our religion that a girl and a boy should be asked for their choice whether he or she really wants to marry this person or not?
It mostly comes from the older generation that rishtay to pehle say hi teh hotein hain etc... The reason behind them saying this could be because in older days they werent asked and were forced into marriage??
Can anyone help me clarify this issue?
Thanks guys..
I have a very brief and complete answer
will answer you but want to hear what other people say first..
I believe that who ever we meet in life we meet for a reason...they maybe good ppl or bad ppl...but we are meant to meet them, as we always learn something from everyone who crosses paths with us....
Some of them will be with you for life and some of them only for a brief period of time.
I feel it is the same for the person who you are meant to be with for the rest of your life...but the paths we choose to get to them is up to us....depending on the path we choose....the journey maybe a long and painful one or a short and painless one.... but this is jst my opinion.
One should have the minerals to take responsibility for their choices and actions rather than blaming it on the kismet.
Everybody has been given a brain, we all learn from experience (our own and others), most of us have the sense to see right from wrong, good from bad, so one should use all his assets while making a choice and be willing to own the consequences.
Many a times your brain stops functioning and you literally become blind to see faults in someone and ends up getting married to a wrong person. I believe that things happens due to kismet but how we react to them is in our hands. Sometimes Allah put you through hardships to make you stronger and to test you (azmaish). I believe that Allah tests you in two ways one when he put you in weak position and burdens you with hardship to see how much faith you have in Him or to see that if you only follow him and love him in good times SECOND when he gives you some power and authority and sees how you use it.
ALLAH kabhi app ko bohat kuch dey kar azamata hai kabhi bohat kuch wapas ley kar.
What happens to us is our kismet like marriage and how we react to things (good or bad) is our decision.
Many a times marriages breaks and ends up in divorce or spouse dies. I believe it also happens for a reason , sometimes bad marriages just happens to pave path for a happy marriage. For example I know a lady doctor by profession married a doctor , the guy divorced her in a week. then in 1 year she got married again to a not so educated shop owner. now they are very happily married masha allah. I am sure when she was single her parents would have never approved rishta of an ordinary shop owner for their doctor daughter.
Similarly , many a times people get divorced with kid(s) and the new spouse accepts the kid(s) as his/her own. I believe it's a test from Allah for the step mother / father . If the step parent fulfils and pass the test in the eyes of Allah who knows how much sawab and blessings Allah would give the step parent in return of the love & kindness he/she has shown to someone else's kid(s).
So I can conclude from your replies that its kismet..
But I dont know why for some reason I have such a strong faith that its not the kismet.. even knowing that everyone says that yes its kismet.. I believe in you guys and everyone but cant convince myself for some really odd reason which I dont really know..
See this world is darul-isbab... right?? meaning we make a choice or make a decision and leave its result on Allah... Just like rizk and other things... similarly when we are marrying we make a decision, we choose the person... agar kismet main hi likha hota hai then why in our religion we are told to choose our partners???
and what for those women who are like 6th or 12th wife of some sheikh???? is that kismet too???
I dunno. If it's a happy marriage....then you'll find people rushing to say it was made in heaven. If it's a less than blissful union....then you'll hear in a resigned tone, "it was pre-written in Kismat."
The wording varies but it's essentially the same thing. Something that you think is made in heaven is basically "predestined."
I think some things are predetermined. And then, to an extent, you have free will to make your life (and that of others) a heaven or a hell.
well i believe that itz pre-written (ur destiny) that whom u r going to marry ... the reason for this is that Allah has already decided that when to send some soul(baby) on earth and where..since the time and birth of the new souls is written then ofcourse it would have also been written that to whom that soul would be born(parents)...so this concludes that pairs are already made by Allah and itz kismet that whom u r going to get married to...
Similarly, ur rizq is also pre-written as it is said k jahan per rizq likha hota hai wahan insan khud hee pohanch jata hai...so if a girl from Pakistan marries a guy from UK, then one can say that her rizq is written there..which also concludes that marriage is pre-written..this is my belief...
When simply a leaf cannot move without His permission, how can such a big thing as marrying someone be without His will & totally dependent on us....Nopes its all pre-decided & even the path we take towards the rishta.
It amazes me when I see people running after rishtas like crazy as if they can make their own destiny..... If someone is meant to be in our life, he/she will be through someway God has predetermined. We do have a part in this which is merely following what God laid down for us & thats where some peole think they did it all on their own.
ALLAH
wrote every thing before each and everything that happens in the world !!!
So that means any thing we do or happen is fate !!! pre decided a leaf cannot move without his permission so how can big things like shadi life death ....
Then question arise If every thing is written then why the hell are we accountable for good or bad deeds and stuff Allah shouldve written all the good things about me
With this thought we can always say WHY ME rite ...
WRONG
Allah the all knowings knowledge is Infinite past present future dose not matter .
When Allah
wrote every thing Allah used His infinite knowledge to write because Allah knows what I will do in my life Its not a problem for Allah to write it by his knowledge ,
My fate is already written But there is a difference.
I am doing It not because its written but because I choose to do it.
Its written NOT because that's how Allah wanted it to be but Allah knows that's what I will do.
end of the day I am accountable for every action of mine.
A sahabi Once asked Prophet PBUH I have a firm belive on Allah Should I leave all my goats like this and hope Allah will protect them
Prophet PBUH said (meaning of what he said)
Tie them up and then Tawakal on Allah do what ever you can and then Tawakal Allah ..
I am doing It not because its written but because I choose to do it.
Its written NOT because that's how Allah wanted it to be but Allah knows that's what I will do.
end of the day I am accountable for every action of mine.
Yes a person has a choice but in a limited manner (its not an unlimited choice) & yes the person is responsible for his/her deeds at the end. If someone has haram/halal food in front of them & they choose haram saying that its in their "kismat" then its wrong. They have a choice to make & will be held accountable for it.
A sahabi Once asked Prophet PBUH I have a firm belive on Allah Should I leave all my goats like this and hope Allah will protect them
Prophet PBUH said (meaning of what he said)
Tie them up and then Tawakal on Allah do what ever you can and then Tawakal Allah ..
True; an example here...one is told to go out & work hard for 'rizk' & not sit at home waiting for it to drop in the lap. And even after working hard whatever one gets is whatever was written in 'kismat'. We are told to do our part but in the end 'wohi hota hay jo Allah chah-ta hay'
Well everything is pre-destined, from your income to what you eat. That doesn't mean we sit around waiting for things to happen. That logic essentially makes anything we do in this life redundant.
This whole "rishtay asmaan par bantay hai" saying is more often an emotional blackmail tactic, designed to guilt trip someone into a marriage by implying well this was going to happen anyway.
Allah ordered that we cannot marry more than 4 times... meaning we cannot have more than 4 wives at one single time... if there is a man who has 4 wives then fine we can say keh yeah in sab 4 larkion/auratoon ki kismat main ye likha tha etc... but what if there is a dude who has 8 wives at one point... does that mean Allah wrote in his kismet to have 8 wives????? Doesnt it lack some sort of consistency?? Therefore if someone marries 8 times and is breaking the law but he wont be punished because it was all in his kismet!!!! since pairs are made in heaven or are pre-written and the off springs are also pre-written???