"acchay rishtay nahi ayengaye apartment mein"...
Bunda khud acha hoo tooo ..i think it does not matter where ..u r ...?
At least u must hav somthing to liv............it matter ....Big house does mean that ......u will get .."acchay rishtay "...and ppl living in apartment GOT Goood Rishta as well ....................
What thing required here is that u must hav a strong faith In GOD?
................that is the point mostly ppl Lack....they believe in God .....but they dont hav a strong faith ............In GOD
sara516 :- its sad to see this kind of thing happen in our culture but it happens more frequently than you think. Some people that I know very closely have not sold their house which is way too expensive for them, because they'd rather live in a big house and gets their kids married off than move to some place smaller. Mind you, the house is more of a financial burden than a place of comfort, but thats what they choose to do !
I don't know why people think that way. Its very uneducated but somehow having a house shows more security and more wealth in the eyes of some. Desis in general prefer that other people they associate with live in houses. Don't ask me why !
My daughter's own teacher told me that a few of her friends from mosque have refused to come visit her just because she lives in an apartment. I thought that was so shallow of them, because I know her as a person and she is a wonderful individual but just the mere fact that people are judging her just on the basis that she lives in an apartment and not a house...its a sad case of affairs.
Personally, I would not associate with such friends/people who judge you on what you own rather than on who you are and what you have to offer as a human being.
Sara betay, itna ghussa nahi khaao. This is our two-faced society we live in. We pretend to be very educated and broad minded since we live in west and have gone through ups and downs of lives here and have seen reality of life more closer to those who live on baap ka paisa in Pakistan. But the fact is more we live here more materialistic we get. Boys or girls, does not matter, they (majority) both think in this way and their parents too. One would think that may be the parents will not look into money, big house, german cars and jahez, since they have seen all type of days in the west when they first came here. But naa ji, experience and education can make no difference in desis. We become more arrogant here instead of making sense when we deal with other desis in business, socialization and specially in rishta thingy.
a good rishta will choose u no matter wat state u are in
if u live in a city or town , in apt or a mansion
nothing matters to the good rishta.
but ppl who have difficulties marrying some1 living in an apartment ( i think)
should bew kicked out.. i mean wat’s there to marry them ?
if they want all the luxuries they can get it from from any1 other than u..
and then wat are the bases for choosing u .
saara baaji life maybe different at your end and surely it is different at my end , but always keep in mind
people who are dependent can never bi independent . like now he needs a status and afterwards , he may many things moreeeeeeee
Hehe, smoothie, ilated, im not really pissed... just annoyed..
Smoothy, how dare you say such bad nasty blasphemous thing against desis? Don't you know they're wonderful and loving and made of all that is aesome in this world, not to mention pious Muslims? :(
i don't know why ppl are not thinking out of the box...
My elder brother recently got married and i got the chance to see some of the styles and ways done in this processes.
Firstly wot is the definition of achay rishtay? if it is that a boy who is wealthy and high up in the food chain with good styles and all this than surely he and his parents will not come into an apartment... simple for them money matters... and ur apartment gives an impression of low income family.... or not equal to their status..
If for u the definition of acha rishta is that a person is well educated and have a rational thinking style, for him and his family money comes after ward than the girl's family educations and ethical backgrounds and teaching and surely if u fullfill their primary requirement than they might overlook the secondary requirement...
My brother wanted to marry a non-working girl so i know my parents went to Androon-sehar like chuburgee and places like that to see girls for him... and they have rejected rishtas of posh-area girls...
So i think ppl are just making an issue out of it where there isn;t any issue... i don;t remember the exact wording of an urdu quote which means "like minded finds like minded"
Although on the personal level i do think the status should be considered to a little extent... i mean the status difference shouldnot be too great between two families else it does create problems... because when u move in a certain status u do have some styles and values embedded in u from ur childhood and they r important for u sometime... so if u go a little too high things might change abruptly and likes of one family becomes dislikes of other family and vise versa.
Very interesting topic. Many of you are correct to some extent that yes financial aspects are made out to be very important to many desi families.....
Financial status is unimportant to us, but maybe I can understand where some parents who have daughters come from....for example they would probably wanna be satisfied that after marriage their daughter will be sufficiently provided for, I guess this is a natural worry for parents.
On the other hand I don't agree with the rejection of a rishta just because the other family is not stinking rich, it's better to choose a morally and religiously better family than one who is richer. As long as the daughter will be comfortable when she goes to the in-laws then there should be no problem.
As for the guys parents looking for rich families, I dont really know how how that works out as it is not as if the guy is gonna move in with the woman as they say ( ghar jamai kutte di jaye) LOL
I'm sorry to say but when the guy and his family come over in the traditional rishta setting, the house, your mannerisms, etiquette play a huge role. The mother-in-law wants to see how her bahu would keep her house, the standards expected etc. Similarly, I'd want a guy to come see how I live, just so he knows I'm not settling for less either.
^ I dont c it as a problem, i mean it makes sense, you wanna c thier manners n stuff.. but im talkin abt, if they come to an apartment or house, n someone who lives in an apartment is somewhat “less” than someone who lives in a house..
In North America I see so many people living in apartments, but then again I see that everyone strives to live in a big dabba type house and that is the ultimate goal. Considering how expensive housing is here, I can understand that having a house is viewed as having financial stability. And everyone wants financial stability ... the guys of this generation expect financial input from their wives.
eah I guess, ur right.. i have my reasons for not wanting to live in a hous anymore, but the bigger issue is that I dont want to (or hav my parents) be making all their decisions based on “rishtas”..
to all the unmarried boys and girls...for goodness sake never buy a big house, i did and im pashtaiing....bigger house cause bigger headaches...bill wise and cleaning wise...now im having a hard time selling it too uff...the house to our side went on sale at the same time as ours, it was sold a month ago cause it was smaller , uff that makes me so angry....any ways once i sell this house im going to move in to a town house, i cant wait god it would take few minutes to clean it yahoo.
shouldnt it be the other way around....i mean gosh if your gonna be materialistic do it the right way!! It should be the girls family making sure that the guys family has money and a big house.... since afterall our desi culture says that it is the girl that leaves her family to go to the guys family!! rolls eyes
hey what about that, joray aasmano peh buntay hein? Like Allah has already done the pairing, then why not, sit back and relax. jiss kay saath likh hai khud hee aa jaye ga, bara ghar or apartment nuthing wud matter...... lolz :D
Another retard thread about arranged marriage.. why dont you gals date someone for sometime and find out he was the guy meant for you.. A visit to the parents and chai together and bingo- you are hooked! gals, Allah tallah ne aqal di hai, kaddey tay gharey-ghassey aqal nu istemal karo!
and proly find a “Ristha” there:D