Rishtas abroad

[Captain_Obvious]

Re: Rishtas abroad

@PyariCgudia

Ok, so then what is the point of so much excess segregation in institutions that are MEANT to bring the muslim community together? Seems like the muslim community is becoming increasingly fragmented in western society, with masjids simply being used only for prayer or halaqa purposes. And that too, any lectures/learning sessions are completely segregated (mostly in most masjids, they do tolerate mixed gender sessions for little kids).

Like literally the only muslim guys I know in the area where I grew up are the little boys I went to Islamic sunday school with when I was 9. I have no idea where those guys are now, and whereas we girls continued being brought to school, these boys dropped out by middle school; they would rather play video games than come to the masjid.

So, does the society get to pass comments on us, if society is not making attempts on bringing the two genders together for marriage. When something halaal has been made so difficult, because venues don’t exist to meet, then does the masjid have any right to talk about gender relations? Do muslims who are more observant have any right to talk about dating, etc, when they aren’t doing anything to bring people together in marriage?

It just makes no sense to me. Go to a church, synagogue, temple. Idea of marriage is obvious and people are very welcoming of it, and they want to help you find someone. There is no shame in going to these places to look for a spouse.

Talk about a masjid and everyone gets upset, saying the only reason for a masjid is namaz, but honestly masjids used to be community centers in early Islam. This is how people met and networked, and this is how people met their spouses.

There’s nothing wrong with a masjid segregating their events by gender. In fact that’s how it is supposed to be. I’d say you’re putting too much expectation in finding someone through the masjid by just thinking that you’d easily find someone that way.

While the masjids have been particular about gender segregation, MSAs back in the day weren’t. According to what I saw, this led to several illicit relationships and very few marriages (from amongst that group) if any. In fact I can’t think of a single couple who got married through that type of arrangement.

The girls all seemed to have the understanding that when it came to marriage, they’d marry someone older than the age group they were interacting with in that group and wouldn’t consider marriage with those guys.

Have you tried mentioning to an imam that you’re looking? Not you personally but has your father tried it? Most people from what I’ve seen are doing their rishta searching through their own networking. Sometimes this includes regular masjid attendees but wouldn’t warrant a full-time rishta department run by the masjid.