OMG some of these stories are just horrible. I didn't have to go thru the whole rishta parade thing.
There was this one rishta though, we met at my aunt's place. Average looking guy, good education and good family. It all seemed perfectly well. He liked me, I thought he was okay too. We met and then just started talking on the phone. The guy was a total jerk on the phone though. Just because someone looks okay and has good education and family doesn't mean he has a good personality. I cook, but this guy took the cooking issue to a totally different level, saying that he wants me to take "classes" from his mom. This was thru families but I told him off. I said call me when you learn manners. They didn't call back.. ha!
My marriage was arranged but I met my husband in NYC where he was working. Went to see him with my sister who was living in new york at that time :)
My biggest pet peeve - when everyone but the guy comes for a look-see. Argh!
I paid several hundred dollars to delay flying out (I was visiting relatives). The guy's family sent out a last minute request for an introduction and my family said okay, invite them over. The guy's mum, younger brother and chacha come to visit for the chai and look-see. They had to drive one and a half hours and the guy was "too busy". I was like WTF!! I'm here from 800 miles away and I made an effort and your son is too busy.
The second time, this other lady who was my mum's acquaintaince from waaay back, she and her husband drove in from out of town with her son to attend a family event in our city. The mum and dad show up at 10pm and when my mum asked "aap apnay beta ko nahin saat laeen" she says, "woh drive kai baad thak gaya tha". In both cases only after the mums had done the look-see and given their approval did they introduce me to their sons.
**
But their actions were a big black **X against them - hence it didn't go anywhere.
I haven't listed the number of times the potential rishtas have done this but honestly what bad manners!!
I hate that as well, it's so arrogant for mothers to think their sons should only see the girl after they've looked her over and given their approval, as tho they're looking for some prized pet.
I would never encourage rishta parade, as they are uncomfortable, somewhat fake and so forced 99% of the time. But I met the man of my dreams through this way so I can't really complain.
Other than that I've also had wierd rishte, one mother told me to stand up and do a 360 turn so she could 'analyse' how smart i was, and NO I didn't do it, made a quick exit.
I believe nt everyone can be gorgeous or beautiful but everyone should be atleast well groomed. That's what everyone can do and is capable of doing. And why only at the time of rishta? i think all the time one should be well groomed. And ofcourse well groomed doesnt mean u have to be suited n booted 24/7.
And ofcourse try and be at yr behavior, no giggling, no tanturums, no disinterested look i guess :D. Must be hard but oh well.............lol.
On a serious note, i dnt think the whole process of rishta here is quite right. Its more like u r going shopping rolleyes.** I think its always better to look for potential rishta among yr family friends and can see each other during a party/wedding.** Otherwise it cud be very uncomfortable, i have been to quite a few rishta meetings when we were looking for a girl for my bro and it use to make me so uncomfortable so i can imagine what the girls must be going thru.
you are right.i wish.................understood na?:D
.mashALLAH.
that auntie was not interested in you because her son is 5’10" and you are 5’1"but the guy Allah has chosen for you is 5’11"……just tell her and ask what do you say know?
huh…
yeh AUNTIES…why dont they think…in ki bhi betian hyn…
i am,too,not tall.i pray to ALLAH PAK is parade aur hight waghaira kay chakron mein paray baghair hi mujhy apna prince charming:@: mil jaye aur shadi ho jaye. Aameen.
^OMG…how rude! psscch well their loss and Mr 5"11’s gain!!
p.s. my fiance’s 5"11 and im 5"1 we’re like shorty and tally but the point is a relationship should be based on how well you understand each other..not how tall you are!!
OMG thats so pathetic, what did she want?? you to be 5’9 ??? so pathetic seriously!!! Gosh the audacity of some people!
Atleast you got your man now init hun xxx
I’m 5’4 and my man is 6ft1, Like height makes a difference i think its cute when the girl is shorter! Hellooo heels invented for a reasonnnn
Isn’t it ironic , some of you are bashing people for rejecting rishta based on height of a girl and then you turnaround and are being proud of being married to a tall guy.
Stands for Muttahida Qaumi Movement, which depending on your political leanings in Pakistan (and Karachi more specifically), may mean he was either your neighborhood hero or mohalla ka ghunda.
That statement could describe 80% of the dudes here on GS. Best be careful: he and his MQM goons could be reading this thread right now!
Ahhhh another thing we have in common! lol. But yea… that is absolutely the point which my family was appalled out… it was all such a turn off!
Lol - so true. That is what made the whole thing so ridiculous. And I agree- I think its cute when a girl is shorter too. Who cares how much shorter she is??? by a few inches or by a lot more than a few inches???
I think our point is that even though the significant others are much taller than us… it doesn’t matter to them and their families. It obviously mattered to the aunty that rejected me… it mattered alot to her that I was 9 whole inches shorter than her son. So we are not being proud about it… just pointing out that there are people out there that don’t care about this stupid thing. A couples understanding with each other and compatiability is a million times more important than things like height. And it was kinda pathetic for this aunty to never even let it get to that point to see if we were compatible based on more legit stuff.
Hmm that's the thing. I have a cousin who is the sweetest girl, but her parents are doing the whole rishta process where things are all on paper and become objective qualities about the person. Occupation. Education. Age. Height. She's a little petite and a couple of good rishta's said no based on height and i think it makes her kind of depressed. It makes me angry too, because they just don't give her a chance- I've never known anyone as down to earth and nice as her, but these people will never know! Sure you can SAY that they're missing out and they;re not worth her, but what if the people who do look past it aren't good enough?
I guess if you go based on contacts, it's not as big an issue, but I think her parents are not well connected. I also don't picture her as the type that'll go out and find a match on her own.
when we're kids we take things for granted and think that the way things are are how they're supposed to be. I always thought that the whole arranged marriage/chai parade thing must work optimally... which is why it's used so extensively in Pakistan. after all if it wasnèt the best method and didn't work, why would the majority go that route... there must be an algo or something that people use to optimize their spousal match... and so everyone ends with the right spouse for them...
and then you grow up... and realize what a lottery the whole thing is... and how dependent you are on your parents' network/connections in the community or lack of...
well that told them!
.mashALLAH.
…just tell her and ask what do you say know?
