Okay, so I’m going to start to list some of the rishtas that were sent my way - some of these are funny as opposed to horrific - but worth sharing. And I do wish all but one #3 on my list, see below) a happy future with the woman of his dreams:
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He was a chicken farmer from Pakistan. His family kept selling him on the basis that he had his MBA (which was reasonably impressive) but because he wanted to continue poultry farming (a noble undertaking, given I love tandoori chicken), but all I could think of was having to collect the eggs on a daily basis or having to pluck the feathers from the slaughtered chickens - that was a big eeww gross and a big no, after all, I was city mouse to his country mouse.
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I’m by no means a tall - I top out at at 5’3 and 3/4" (hey, the 3/4 inch matters) - he was 5’3" - I know, how shallow turning a guy down because he’s short. But that was just part of it. He had grand aspirations of being a politician and the idea of being a policitian’s wife was not for me (plus, our religious values/practices were also divergent) - but as soon as I said that I didn’t want to be a politician’s wife, he does an about face and says that he’ll give up his lifelong dream and pursue another career. I’m of the school of thought that you can’t change a guy and make him into what you want and an individual should stand by his/her convictions - this guy waffled back and forth so quickly that I couldn’t respect constancy.
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Next one - I’ve mentioned this gem in another thread. He was (by his own admission) a former member of the MQM who would not announce a visit to Pakistan since he may be persona non grata for prior acts (which he assured me did not include murder). He believed that guys wear the pants in the family and there was nothing wrong with drinking and cussing (it might be okay for some - but I was raised differently). And then, he tells me not to share out personal discussions with anyone, followed promptly by him turning around and badmouthing me to all and sundry.
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I met the mum, chacha and brother in January at a relative’s place when I was visiting. No follow up for 4 months. The mum calls in April, “so sorry, we were really busy, but we’re visiting your town next week, can we visit”. My mum says okay, his mum says we’ll call to confirm date and time. They don’t call.
A year later, his mum calls my sister, “is your sister still single, we’d like to introduce our son to her, can we set up a time and date” again no follow up from the mum. The fourth time, another year later, I’m in his home town attending a wedding, she sees me at the wedding, she calls up my sister, “is your sister single” - at this point I’m like, I will die single, but I ain’t considering your son.
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I’ve mentioned this one too - his family came to see my sister - said no to her. He gets married, gets divorced and then all of a sudden our family (who was pretty much ignored by his family in the ensuing years) is acceptable again. They ask, I say heck no!
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There was this guy who came to visit my sister and her husband - a distant relative of my BIL. His story was he was the only son of his parents and a spoiled brat - so it was his personality that made him a non-contender. But added to that, he was on the heavier sider (okay so he was fat) and when he came to visit my sister, he spent the entire evening with his gut sucked in. Finally after dinner, he says he wanted to go on a walk - poor guy, he was finally able to take a deep breath and regulate his breathing.
I intend no malice to the guys above (except #3) - but thought I’d share some of my experiences. All of the other rishtas people were decent folk where it just didn’t work out for a variety of reasons.
