i live in canada and i go back and fourth to pakistan alot. i had met my cousin there during my bothers wedding. we have been talking since then and things started to move ahead till i was gone to pakistan again. i had told her how i like her and i would want my mum to talk to my khala about her. she had also told me she likes me and would want all this to work out. after comming back from pakistan we were talkin mostly on msn and i had told my mum about her and how i think she should not waste time and talk to my khala but my cousin kept telling me not to talk yet since they would say how she is just 22. so i didnt.
moving ahead everything is gud the girls parents dont know she talks to me she likes me and what she is thinking. my mum on the other hand is willing to talk to her sister. here is the problem - my cousin tells me suddenly to talk to her mum and i agreed since that is what i wanted so then she msgs me saying maybe her mother would not accept the rishta because of how they want someone business related more up to their status, hi tech wedding, showing people we got a good rishta for our daughter. yet telling me to think about it and go ahead with it. making me confused there i am making my mum confused. i dont noe why they wont accept it but if the girl is saying it i have to think about it. i still want to go for the rishta even knowing all this but my mum also feels as if they wont accept it. also my cousin has stopped talking to me till something gets final she feels not right by talking to me and how her parents dont know. she also told me lately how they are thinking to gt her baat fixed now (shes 23) and how she feels they have someone for her but shes not sure.
im not only confused but also i really like my cousin and i would want her to be with me in future. i dont know if its worth taking the risk to ask for her rishta since my mother feels they wont accept due to how they are with status and alot more but she is willing to ask even then. the cousin is telling me to ask for her but not so fast, she thinks her parents would not do it. she also feels that abhi koi rishta aaya hua hai which they have not told her about.
what am i suppose to do? go ahead with the rishta? would they accept it? im not someone who has no educated ( im in my last semester of studies) they know me i have stayed with them were the same family everything. what is your view? and when should be the right time for my mum to ask for her rishta? does status really matter more than how one is? or there family is? is status more important than a good rishta?
of course status matters.
be realistic.
and by what regard are you classifying yourself as a good rishta beyond caring for her right now?
There are some families who think that marrying within family is a bad idea. Complicates matters. It doesn't seem as if her parents would be prone to your rishta from what you say, but "girtay hen shah sawar hi maidan e jang mey". If you dont try you won't know.
if she says that her family is not likely to go for it then I would move on......why put myself and my parents through the mess and risk ruining relationships as well?
she has cut off speaking with you so she's not stupid.....she knows more than you do.
at the end of the day status should not matter but that's irrelevant because here it obviously does.....
She is not worth your time and efforts , she agrees to her parents philosophy of "status does matter"
You are so head over heels for her because you have no alternative lined up like she and her parents have.
According to the girl, her family was not willing to marry her off when she was 22... now they are ready when she is 23. What difference does one year make?
The girl stopped you to talk to her parents previously simply because she didn't want this rishta to be finalised. She was just having good time with you. She spent some time with you and now is trying to have a safe exit by telling you that her parents might not agree.
Status matters in marriage but can be ignored in the extended families, especially when the rishta talk is between two siblings for their children.
Wow, this girl is beyond superficial and slightly gold-diggerish. Who basically says "my parents want someone who's rich"? Avoid her. Plus, all this indecisiveness is lame too.
Just a quick question, if your mum was to gently ask your cousin's mum, as in bring it up in a light way, would it do any harm? Surely she can ask without ruining their relationship? Your cousin clearly likes you but is also too scared to bring it up with her parents. That way you know you asked and you've got some kind of impression from them?
BUT, if you do pursue this you need to ask yourself whther you are willing to marry into a family with materalistic values. In this day and age, being rich/having businesses etc is not as important as it used to be in the same way. as you have said, its not like you're not educated and its not like you wont be able to have a job.
Mosty of all, you should just go with how you are feeling now and what you are comfortable with now, if you feel as if you are pushing something where you like her more than she is willing to help you out, i think you have an answer there.
i dont see the harm in asking for rishta if you really like her (if it is not going to harm anyone then whats wrong in trying?). If you like someone or something, you should always make the effort till the end :) if it still doesnt work out, then that is Allah's will but you will know you tried your best!
and no status and all that crap is ridiculous. You will marry the person Allah swt has made for you despite your status etc. You are educating yourself. One day you will have that too. If someone doesnt see that and rejects a good rishta without a valid reason, then it's their loss!!
**If ur heart is set on her i would ask your mum to broach the subject with her sister… if they reject you they reject you …if not then YAAAY!
but be prepared there may be a rejection…and i hate to break it ya mate but the girl is not telling you everything…i dunno whether that is because she is scared or whether that is because she’s trying to let go of you and accept that other rishta…but she is not telling u everything…so i wud be prepared either way if i were u
and lose the sad avatar… she aint the last girl on this earth and if she can live without u …u shud be able to live without her too - HAPPILY! alright…if this breaks down…pick urself up and move on…give urself pep talks you will find whomsoever Allah has made for you and that girl will be best for you…whether she is your cousin or someone else…remains to be seen… nuff said! **
A woman that ****s with your head is not worth it. Just move on. Cut off all contact, you will be better for it.
this.......
if there is so much drama and issues even in asking for a rishta....... and all the 'money/status' BS.........even if u get married...........there gonnna be loads of shizz later.......
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