What are pro and cons of desi Rishta process involving aunties and Moms comapred to DIY?
Re: Rishta Process
One thing I found that was sooooo annoying with the rishta process is constant judging and evaluating you have to go through. Its nerve wracking and there is no room for mistakes...you have to be perfect!
Another bad point is the pressure. Once you get past the intial stage of "alright, the guy seems normal"...there is this pressure to say yes almost immediatly. Parents get excited and read a little too much into the getting past the first step...this used to freak me out so much...a lot of time I wouldnt bother because I felt I wouldnt get a chance to know the guy.
The good thing is, your parents evaluate and do a good job of finding a guy with sound character...based on their life experience...they can pick up on things I cant.
One thing I found that was sooooo annoying with the rishta process is constant judging and evaluating you have to go through. Its nerve wracking and there is no room for mistakes...you have to be perfect!
Another bad point is the pressure. Once you get past the intial stage of "alright, the guy seems normal"...there is this pressure to say yes almost immediatly. Parents get excited and read a little too much into the getting past the first step...this used to freak me out so much...a lot of time I wouldnt bother because I felt I wouldnt get a chance to know the guy.
The good thing is, your parents evaluate and do a good job of finding a guy with sound character...based on their life experience...they can pick up on things I cant.
agree! too much pressure and I hate the formality involved.
Pros: a great process for those people who are extremely busy in studying or careers and do not have the time to find someone on their own, keeps one from doing things "haram" and such things that may effect their reputation....cuz God knows desi's love to talk trash and slander peoples reputations even if the intention of getting to know someone is for the sole purpose of marriage.
PSquared....parents can always evaluate AFTER you have gotten to know him on your own 2.
DIY is Do It Yourself. In this case I believe finding and evaluating your own partner.
oh yeaaaa…as in DIY home improvement 
Re: Rishta Process
Desi Rishta Process:
Con: Sometimes there are huge generation/cultural gaps between parents and children, i.e. Parents are traditional + ABCD kids = messed up rishta process. Kids have a hard time convincing parents whats good for them, what to look for according to their preferences, parents stubbornly look for their preconceived notions of what’s appropriate, both parties get frustrated, etc. etc.
Pros: Desi Rishta Process has its own cultural feel and gives the feeling of being taken care of, i.e. Parents take responsibility and do thorough search according to their reasonings so it gives you peace of mind.
DIY:
Pros: If you get lucky and find Mr. Right, then 
Con: If you misjudge, live in fools’ paradise, you’re screwed and on your own.
Re: Rishta Process
I think DIY is a better option for "immediate" satisfaction on choosing a partner.
Paternal choices take a while to blossom, but they can be more rewarding in the long run.
I think DIY is a better option for "immediate" satisfaction on choosing a partner.
Paternal choices take a while to blossom, but they can be more rewarding in the long run.
Very, very, very wise NJMasti!
Re: Rishta Process
^ Agree with Psquared.
This could be a pro or a con....if ur parents are looking usually the 'potentials' they choose are going to have a lot in common with them, similar job/social class/culture. Most of my family are doctors and 99% of their friends are too so if I married one as well I honestly think I would go mental. I know the similarity/familiarity thing is a big plus for a lot of people but not me. I've always been attracted to men from different lifestyles/races/cultures and if I had let my parents find someone there would have been prob only been like a 1% chance of me ending up with someone like that.
Oh, just thought of another con....in the case of my brother, he and my Mum have very different ideas of what's attractive in terms of beauty. Time and time again my Mum would find a girl with porcelain white skin and my brother would say 'no' as the the girl in question wasn't physically his type but my Mum would just ignore and pick the next girl who was practically the same looking lol she just couldn't get her head around the idea that he didn't want someone with the whitest skin possible, it was really bizarre. She was projecting her idea of what is attractive onto him. He liked high cheekbones and she would say 'that looks awful, they look anorexic' and would steer him towards someone chubby and fair, it was like a neverending cycle...