Re: rishta over chai
Ashtray bhaijaan, every situation is different. In our culture we marry off cousins who grew up together and also marry off complete strangers from two different countries over the phone.
Anyway, if the two families do not know each other well, the mother/sister from each side should visit the other and stay with them for a couple of days to get the informal values of the family. These tea and dinner parties only brings up the formalities. If they still see some compatibility then the couple should be allowed to meet a few times with a patron, be it elder siblings or cousins or even parents, so they can have a conversation. Email exchange isn't a bad idea. Only then something serious should be put forward. What I don't like is when the starting point of such ristas is a phone call among mothers and then the tea parade.
What I usually end up arguing with my elders is that times have changed and our generation lacks the stubbornness a marriage needs and thus a quick glance & a lowdown on qualities from a third person doesn't cut it anymore.