Since Rishta talk is really popular in the forum, i think we should come up with a list of do’s and dont’s.
I have been part of the rishta process as a sister for my brothers. And there are few points i can add.
Do’s
be on time.
try to make the prospect feel at ease.
Don’ts
don’t take the whole family with you.
don’t take it as a eat out day and go crazy with food. lolz
don’t ask stupid questions.
this is esp for the girls, don’t overdo your make-up or clothes. yes u shud perhaps try to luk yr best BUT that doesnt mean u put 10 pounds of make-up on your face or that you dress too flashy.
Overall, I detested being part of the rishta process even as a sister and i can imagine how miserable i had feel when i would have to go thru it for myself. Argh.
Here is the biggest dont. DO NOT make it a formal rishta process unless you really want to ask for girl's rishta. Just dont go out on window shopping...
Just meet the girl "by accident" somewhere at some 3 person's place who is facilitating this all. These accidents can be arranged by some common friends/relatives. Personally I am totally against guy's mother, sisters going to "lerkee daikhney" and stuffing themselves with goodies.
This "lerkee daikhna" is one of my most hated custom in our society. I request all young mothers/parents, to please STOP it. There are number of alternative ways to get introduced and get information about "lerkee" without hurting their self-respect.
Here is the biggest dont. DO NOT make it a formal rishta process unless you really want to ask for girl's rishta. Just dont go out on window shopping...
Just meet the girl "by accident" somewhere at some 3 person's place who is facilitating this all. These accidents can be arranged by some common friends/relatives. Personally I am totally against guy's mother, sisters going to "lerkee daikhney" and stuffing themselves with goodies.
This "lerkee daikhna" is one of my most hated custom in our society. I request all young mothers/parents, to please STOP it. There are number of alternative ways to get introduced and get information about "lerkee" without hurting their self-respect.
Very Well Said. I don't know when this trend wl stop, everyone is guilty of this even my own family cuz we went thru the same procedure for my brothers. I still remember hating to go n have a dekho at the girl but had to at times cuz my bro thought i wud understand his choice better than mom. Anyways,....Just thinking about having to go thru the same for myself really gives me goose bumps :(. You are rite there can be better ways instead of doing the whole formal thing where i am sure the girl must be nervous as hell. And what must it do to the girl's self esteem when she is rejected though i believe everyone has the be selective but i am sure it doesnt feel the same when its you who is being rejected.
Just today was messaging a friend of mine and she replied n seemed very down. On my asking she told me how she has been getting into this inferiority complex because everyone who came to see her rejected her. OMG i have been so upset since i got her msg, i tried to console her but i am sure she must be going thru hell rite now. I want to go and be there for her but cnt cuz she lives quite far n also i m nt sure how she wl feel talking abt it face to face. I tried to calling her and she didnt even pick my phone i m so worried for her.
She is pretty, educated and a very decent/shareef girl. She was fat before but has worked on her body and i think she should be chubby now but not fat. Don't know why people are rejecting her :( Can't say much. But i am really worried cuz she said kya mein itni buri ho k kissi ko bhi nahi achi lagti :(. I tried to make her understand that she is a very nice girl n she should just pray to Allah for her good and not take these things to heart. I think since she is the only daughter (has brothers bt no sis) she cant really share it with anyone as she said her mom will get more upset when she sees her like that. So she said talking to you (me) makes me feel better so we talked thru smses as i was out but i came home n called her and she didnt pick up :( i hope she's ok, she said she cried all nite yesterday.
We need to get rid of this society evil :( its very demeaning. I wish i fall in love and don't have to go thru this process. I salute all the girls who bear with it, infact just told another friend about this friend's situation and she was like yar tell her to relax! it happens with everyone n she was like i have been thru so many rejections that another person in my place wud have gone into severe depression.
***