Has anybody had any bad experiences when it comes to meeting potential husbands/wives? I just had one earlier this week.
Now, I hadn’t seen this man’s photo. I had only spoken to him once briefly on the phone to arrange a neutral meeting at a local coffee shop. When we finally met, he had flowers for me and a gift which was very sweet but surprising since I was not expecting anything.
After that one initial meeting where I basically didn’t say much but rather listened to him as he chattered away, he proposed then and there on the spot and told me that he wants to marry me before Ramadan, spend Ramadan with me and then have us move to South Africa. This guy had the next couple of years of my life planned out fo rme. He was ready to pack my suitcases and whisk me off to South Africa.
I politely refused at which point he began to interrogate me as to my reason for saying no and then criticized me for these same reasons.
I went into this ‘meeting’ under the premise that I was just meeting someone for the first time and we would talk to see if we had anything in common. I didn’t go there with the intention of setting a wedding date.
Anyway, I went home and thought that was the end of it. We were clearly not compatible. However, he started phoning me at home 3 times a day!! The guy isn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer and keeps calling my house.
Jeez!! My mother had to tell him to leave me alone and then told off the woman who set us up.
Is it just me who seems to be meeting people like this or has anyone else had some horrid experiences?
Mehnaz, I had a similar experience a month or so ago when, upon my family's insistence, I met someone for lunch at a mutually agreed-upon restaurant. He brought flowers along which was not necessary but nice nonetheless. The guy was pleasant, educated, had good sense of humor, fairly attractive whatnot but the letdown was...ready for this??? his height! He was only 5'6' whereas I am 5'5' He tried to call me at home several times afterwards but I told my parents to tell him "sorry but not interested beta." It wasn't the nicest thing to do but had to be done rather than leading him on. :)
Mehnaz Q.. it seems the dude is very gung-ho about marriage. Find out a girl who is also gung-ho about marriage and hook these two up. Look around, maybe you'd find someone even here. :)
moona... you didn't ask for any advice and unwanted advice is generally unwelcome, so I won't say anything. Good luck!
OK do you guys wanna hear somewhat of an interesting story, this is not about me but about a cousin of mine. There was this guy that happened to like my cousin he didn't even know much about each her, it was a set up on behalf of the mother. Anyhow, this guy comes over to meet my cousin and my uncle told him, sorry but my daughter will not marry you (he had his reasons for saying no), well the guy didn't take no for an answer. He kept calling all the time and he came over again with "people" to persuade my uncle, my uncles answer was still no, well the guy still didn't take no for answer. So what does this fool do, he goes to the mother and ask for the girls hand from her mother, and the mother she said yes, when my uncle said no. Well, my uncle had heard that these guys were over he hurried home and took his
AK 47 and scared them with it, he shot it in the air to scare them off, and they ran off without there car (remember this is in Yemen). So well, you'd think that this guy would take a hint, no of course not, he came back again and again and at the end he married her.
I know you guys don't really care, but I thought I'd share some of my stores.
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*Originally posted by Majestic: *
OK do you guys wanna hear somewhat of an interesting story, this is not about me but about a cousin of mine.
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cripes. Is she happy now with this guy? Everything alright in their marriage? He's treating her OK?
Mahnaz u should've accepted him....coz world cup is in south africa...that was the best chance to watch cricket world cup live....i know u feel bad now.....u missed the opportunity....
Well, no at the end everything didn't turn out great, with the marriage yes but life no. Well, no my uncle did not say yes to get rid of him, the mother and the girl wanted the guy, he was related to her mother somehow, and I guess my uncle had his reasons. Anyhow, yes the guy really liked her, respected her and they "had" a great marriage with 2 boys. Well, when my cousin was giving birth to her 2nd child she died in child birth. She was only 25 and this is how the story ends.
moona you gave up a guy just because he wasn't tall enough? MAAN! No offence but it isn't good to be soo choosy...after all you DID say he was a nice guy :)
Mehnaz...you must be a real sweety for a guy to be after you like that..either that or the guy has a past and is desperate to get married...
Majestic...God bless that guy..you know he prolly really loved her...and now...I think he'll love his kids all the more coz they'll be constant reminders of her.
I know where you’re coming from Last Knightess but well, yeah, height does matter to me. I mean if I’m going to be married to the guy, one of the first things that will jump out is his height and I like wearing high heels so ummmm…like I said, saying no to him wasn’t the greated thing to do but was the only option for me. Lekin koi baat nahin…must be someone out there who is custom-made for Ms. Mona. Mil jaye ga kaheen na kaheen kissi na kissi din. I have full faith in God on that one! :love:
A few years ago I had a rishta experience that I wont soon forget. The guy came from a very prominent family in Pakistan.
The ristha flew in with his parents. The mother really liked me and was already starting to talk about how she would take me shopping here, there and everywhere. It was the only thing she spoke about with me. I found her to be nice and friendly but I am not a shopper. When I spoke to the rishta, he would always ask me questions, and whenever I wouldnt give him an answer he wanted to hear, he'd keep asking me "but why". "But why dont you hike in the mountains? (I dont live near one.)" "But why dont you like to watch rugby." (They dont play it in america much.) "But why dont you like pools in a home?" (Its not safe.) etc. The thing he said that really surprised me was, "But why do you want to marry someone who is religious?" (What?!) He didnt seem that interested in what I liked, just wanted me to like what he liked.
After all that, the mother took me aside and stated to me that they are from a prominent family in Pakistan and that it would not be often that I get such a rishta due to my middle-classness. That was a shocker. She didnt tell my mom and dad that, just me. I found it somewhat offensive but stayed quiet.
They finally left, and to my surprise were still interested in me even months later. The mother tried to get other families to convince my parents to have me marry her son. I believe he is somewhere happily married, but talk about pressure.
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*Originally posted by Munni: *
A few years ago I had a rishta experience that I wont soon forget. The guy came from a very prominent family in Pakistan.
The ristha flew in with his parents. The mother really liked me and was already starting to talk about how she would take me shopping here, there and everywhere. It was the only thing she spoke about with me. I found her to be nice and friendly but I am not a shopper. When I spoke to the rishta, he would always ask me questions, and whenever I wouldnt give him an answer he wanted to hear, he'd keep asking me "but why". "But why dont you hike in the mountains? (I dont live near one.)" "But why dont you like to watch rugby." (They dont play it in america much.) "But why dont you like pools in a home?" (Its not safe.) etc. The thing he said that really surprised me was, "But why do you want to marry someone who is religious?" (What?!) He didnt seem that interested in what I liked, just wanted me to like what he liked.
After all that, the mother took me aside and stated to me that they are from a prominent family in Pakistan and that it would not be often that I get such a rishta due to my middle-classness. That was a shocker. She didnt tell my mom and dad that, just me. I found it somewhat offensive but stayed quiet.
They finally left, and to my surprise were still interested in me even months later. The mother tried to get other families to convince my parents to have me marry her son. I believe he is somewhere happily married, but talk about pressure.
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Munni, I'm so glad you didn't end up marrying into that superficial and obviously materialistic family. I hate people like that. Unfortunately, in our community there are many people who think just cause they money and are considered 'high class' that they can look down at others. For his mother to say such a thing proved that they don't have that much class after all.
^----True, I hate those kind of people, too. They’re real pricks! To me its more pathetic than anything else.
I wonder what were the reasons for all those guys being such jerks. I don’t see any reason for these guys to become so obsessive. I sure wouldn’t. Oh well! I guess every guy isn’t perfect, like yours truly Wolf. :halo:
