I was having a conversation with couple of friends about my future plans, my education and how I want to be independent and not rely on anyone not even my husband to certain extents. Then one of my friends questioned me and said “what if your husband doesn’t allow you to work ?” what will you do then? Well, my first answer was, I’ll make sure I marry the one who does. But I don’t understand what’s up with the whole women job issue. First, you all want a paree likhey, educated girl, (m not gonna list everything becaz that infuriates me more than anything and if she fits the criteria what’s wrong with her contributing to the society? Then why emphasize so much on girls education, Marry a paindan, have 13 kids and treat her like ****. And she wouldn’t even know it. The reason why it bothers me is because my mother’s education has went down the drain due to such restrictions not even from dad but from the family. A lot of things have changed now though.
What I am trying to say here is what’s wrong with girls being part of the world and standing and moving step by step with you men. If you’re not going to give her the freedom she deserves then why do you have a lambi chori list of qualifications in able for her to marry you. Step out you dung errs and see the world. Time to move on
yaar all guys r not like that...my mom has always been working and my dad has always been fully supportive...mashallah...lekin uptil we were old my mom used to work only till early afternoon coz she wanted to be home when we were back from school...
even my brother asked my bhabi not to work when the kids were really small but now that they are a bit older and go to school, and my other brother's wife is also in the house to help, he has allowed her to work when she asked him if she could, coz she really wanted to, even though he prefers she stays at home, like paison kee zaroorat nai etc, but she just wants to have some kinda activity outside the home...which is totally understandable...
so i guess it depends on the couple's understanding...both parties have to compromise and reach some middle ground in every matter including this...
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*Originally posted by irem: *
yaar all guys r not like that...my mom has always been working and my dad has always been fully supportive...mashallah...lekin uptil we were old my mom used to work only till early afternoon coz she wanted to be home when we were back from school...
even my brother asked my bhabi not to work when the kids were really small but now that they are a bit older and go to school, and my other brother's wife is also in the house to help, he has allowed her to work when she asked him if she could, coz she really wanted to, even though he prefers she stays at home, like paison kee zaroorat nai etc, but she just wants to have some kinda activity outside the home...which is totally understandable...
so i guess it depends on the couple's understanding...both parties have to compromise and reach some middle ground in every matter including this...
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absolutely ! agree with you 100 % that isn't everyone but the majority is Irem I m referring to those who claim to be the superior ones who consider women to be second class (read the thread in H &R by cutiepie. You'll know what I mean)
Whats the big deal ? If you are qualified then go for it.
There are some other issues related to this one.
Many girls who are professionally qualified either in medicine, law or business, dont pursue their proffession after getting the degree. And on their own free will. So whats the point in studing for 5 years getting MBBS and then sitting home ? I guess no family who allows a girl to study medicine or law force a qualified person to sit home.
It is also a waste of precious resource, specially in a country like ours.
Faisal bhai… I can kinda relate… you know frankly speaking I used to hate the idea of working till I actually started working, even though I was studying for a professional degree…I always thought mein ne job shob nai karni…
but after graduating, it was the natural direction to take, ghar beth k kia karna tha…so i did it grudgingly…and the first month was actually terrible…But now that I’ve gotten used to this lifestyle, I just really love it…
I think women definitely should be allowed to work. In fact they should be able to take care of themselves.
Life's too unpredictable. What if something happens to the husband? What if he just gets layed off? What if he turns out to be a jerk!?
Besides staying at home all day is so boring. How can anyone with even half a brain endure that kinda torture!?
...and the old 'traditional' BS of making or allowing a woman to be dependent on a man is stupid. It's true though there are a lot of girls who work their butt off studying and getting degrees only to never use them too.
I've also heard stories of poor girls who do want to work ...and even if the husband supports her he somehow lets the family force her to stay home!?
Another sad situation I hear are girls who are afraid getting a decent education or working might mean losing the possibility of marrying a great guy !?
Honestly if he's truely worth it and loves you he will wait for you and be supportive of your goals and dreams.
Its not about the freedom. Its about having a meaning to life. Standing up for what you believe in. Speaking your mind. But staying in the limits set. Irem, I wouldn't mind not working staying home but If I go throught all these years of schooling just so I can sit home and make alo dai parathey I don't think so. Faisal, As my mom looks back at the decision. she actually is glad for not working and raising us three. so that ulta could also be sedha for some
so far all of you agree w/ me I m waiting for the dung errs (m in luv with this word)
and if she fits the criteria what’s wrong with her contributing to the society? Then why emphasize so much on girls education, Marry a paindan, have 13 kids and treat her like ****. And she wouldn’t even know it. The reason why it bothers me is because my mother’s education has went down the drain due to such restrictions not even from dad but from the family. A lot of things have changed now though.
virtual Nikah.