I am as guilty as the next person of having and expressing very firm opinions that reflect my ideas of right and wrong. I am guided by my own moral compass and I’ve convinced myself that my moral compass is based on what my religion teaches me - therefore the right and wrong become absolutes to me.
But we all know that beyond a few absolute haram/halal or moral/amoral actions - the rightness and wrongness of our actions is subjective. What I value and hold dear may be different than what another considers important, and the values by which they live their life. Not only that, each of us is physically, emotionally, psychologically, socially, religiously different than another. Our personal circumstances and our strengths and weaknesses vary from others.
So here’s my question, unless I have walked a mile in the other person’s shoes, and know and lived their circumstances, how can I tell them or browbeat them into doing what I thnk is right? And conversely, how can I judge them as weak or wrong for not doing what I think is right?
Re: Right, Wrong, Generalizations and Individuality
So here's my question, unless I have walked a mile in the other person's shoes, and know and lived their circumstances, how can I tell them or browbeat them into doing what I thnk is right? And conversely, how can I judge them as weak or wrong for not doing what I think is right?
Basically you can't do any of those..
why you do it anyways?
You have some need to express yourself, make your views known, learn from others situations/comments...............and possibly help out the person asking the question** ****
Re: Right, Wrong, Generalizations and Individuality
So here's my question, unless I have walked a mile in the other person's shoes, and know and lived their circumstances, how can I tell them or browbeat them into doing what I thnk is right? And conversely, how can I judge them as weak or wrong for not doing what I think is right?
If you(general) push others to follow your suggestion then you are a dictator, you can request -- if they are close to you or you are compassionate towards them -- but you cannot force.
If you judge anyone as weak or wrong, then you are judgmental.
Re: Right, Wrong, Generalizations and Individuality
How do counselors help people? Have they experienced everything? No
You read about a problem, see if you can relate to it... give the best advice you can by imagining yourself in that situation if you haven't experienced it first hand. Different people give different views some are generalized some are individualistic The person reading can take help according to their situation or need. Sometimes just discussing a problem can do a lot of good. Everyone has their idea of right and wrong - it's up to them to decide.
The individual asking for help will pick out and reject info according to his own morals and religious affiliations. I'm sure evryone here thinks of this forum as a way to get help and give help to other people - for me this effort is more than enough and should be appreciated as this for sure is the right thing to do.
Zakir Naik wasn't an expert of religion when he started preaching, it was the problems and questions put in front of him that made him go search for the answers. So we can't be 100% sure of what advice we are giving is of value to other person or not, but we make sure we help them to the best of our knowledge.
Re: Right, Wrong, Generalizations and Individuality
:k:
Yes, I think that’s exactly it. By looking at the world through my own lens, I can be accused of lacking compassion and/or failing to recognize when I’m being judgemental.
Re: Right, Wrong, Generalizations and Individuality
That sums it up for me :k:
We can express what we think is right and trust that individual to make the right choice. If something doesn’t work out for them we can’t tell them “I told you so”, they must have had sound reasons for their decision that may have worked on another day. Everything is not absolute, the same advice does not work for everyone.
Re: Right, Wrong, Generalizations and Individuality
Okay, so when I share my advice and the other person doesn't take my advice and what I predicted happened, am I entitled to a say "I told you so?"
well if u wanted to u could say that but at the end of the day it is the other persons choice, even if what u predicted does happen.
Iv recently gone through something like this where i thought my way was right but then i came to realise that me asking another person to follow my way was pushing them away from me, now i just think that its their life, if i disagree its my problem not theirs, all i can do is tell them and then move on.