How many of married guys here gave the “right to Divorce” to their wives? Or at least ever thought about giving it to your wife? If your wife asks for that, what kind of situation will that put you in? Will you argue or will just give the right of divorce to her?
And on the other hand, how many of marred galz hare knew at the time of their wedding that Islam give the option to hubby that he can give divorce right to wife. How many of you are willing to ask for it? Will that make you feel more secure?
This question came to my mind while I was watching one drama. There was some confrontation going on b/w couple and wife said “You can force me because you can say 3 words and send me home”. This made me think if giving “right to divorce” to wife will make her feel more secure?
And a supplementary question is, can we give this right to wife after the Nikkah or its just Nikkah time deal?
And to be blunt, your post just shows ignorance to another important right that Islam give to women but we just don’t talk about it. We try to bury it somewhere or ignore it by saying “abhee shadi to honey doo..abhee sai talaqq kee bateen” …basically another version of what you just said. Don’t you think so?
Marriage is one of the most important part of life and one has to think about all aspects. When we buy any electronics from lets say best buy and salesperson try to sell you a service plan, do you say to him “wait a min, is this product that poor that I need service plan? I still have to buy it and you are trying to sell me service plan??”. So we can talk about service plan when dealing with small material things but not in most important aspect of life?
Well sorry for being stupid but I would not take marriage as buying an appliance from a department store, it is always more than that, yes Islam gives right to both men and women to divorce but it has its own clause and husband and wife are encouraged to sort things out unlike in west by just saying 'irreconcilable differences'. They are the one who have made divorce fashion but in true sense it is a tragedy, people do not think twice before they get married because they think divorce is too easy. Going through it shatters a person, regardless of men and women and it is better if they have an inch of problem with each other sort it out before getting married or committing.
Although extreme matters like infidelity, beating and other bad habits are the reason for divorce, today people find mock reasons to separate and make a derision of a valued practice.
I was not aware of it and would not have used this right. I know its better to be safe but if the things will go wrong and someone is not willig to live with you then why hold on to them.
Man with a Plan, I totally agree with you. There is no denying that Divorce should be the last resort. Husband and wife should avoid it by any means and all that. In fact Allah hate it the most but still its allowed. This is totally different topic.
My question was simple Will be be willing to give this right to your wife?
My husband gave me the right. We were married by an Arab sheikh who insisted on it. In most other muslim countries women have this right written into their contracts.
I can honestly say that in all of our years of marriage neither one of us has considered using our rights to divorce. I don't think that anyone in their right mind goes into a marriage with the intention to divorce, but one really should be prepared for all scenarios, especially in an arranged marriage.
I'm sure we all know stories about girls who are being abused but their husbands won't divorce them, girls whose husbands have left them but won't divorce them, and so on. These things do happen, why not protect your sister or daughter in advance?
Think of it this way - your daughter, if you have one, is a precious trust from Allah (swt). It is your responsiblity as a father to do everything in your power to protect her, so wouldn't you want her to have this extra protection that Islam has given her?
I am not married and i am not sure if i would want that right. It would perhaps depend on how God fearing my husband is, maybe. But then again, people never know how they are going to change.
Pata nahi, i havent given this much thought. I would assume that if i wanted to leave the marriage,my husband should let me and vice versa. There is no point in forcing a spouse to stay in a relationship when tehy dont want to.
i nvr knew that you can be given this right...i just assumed that one could ask their husband for a divorce and if they were in their right mind they would grant it (if and only if they have exhausted all other measures) since there is no point in being in a loveless marriage.
It's called khula. In most cases you will return the mahr in return for a divorce, so it's not even a simple matter of walking away.
It's important for a woman to put this in writing in a contract, because what if he isn't "in his right mind" or abusive. Divorce becomes an "honor" and "control" issue for some men.
MWAP I agree wiht your ideology, however, thinking about it and asking for that right does NOT mean that one is going to divorce at the tiniest hint of trouble. Unfortunately that is the problem with alot of people, they like to take certain rights away with the "well if ure already thinking abt divorce, then this marriage ain't gonna work" reasoning and that simply is not rational nor reasonable.
^haiN? Not necessarily. Divorce is always a possibility, no matter what. It has nothing to do with having doubts or feeling insecure about the relationship. If anything, it indicates that he is mature enough to address important issues (here divorce as a concept) without freaking out over it. Also, in a way it shows how serious he is about this commitment and how aware he is of his wife's rights and needs. Besides, it's only wise to make sure both parties are comfortable with the terms of the 'contract' before making a serious commitment such as this. This will go a long way in maintaining a healthy relationship , and quite possibly take divorce out of the equation altogether.
As for the original question, as ahmadjee put it so eloquently, be proactive and include it in the nikahnama so that she doesn't even have to ask for it.
when i got married i did not know about this,.....and no one like my parents or grand parents ever talked to me about it....
i think there is a clause in the nikkah form which asks if the bride is being given this right...?...isn't it so...?please correct me if i am wrong...!
people generally do not want to talk about this right which islam has given every woman ....just like they do not want to discuss haq mahr,or like try to keep it on the lower side....its a concept that why to think about divorce and stufff just before getting married...
giving the woman this right does not mean that there is going to be a divorce in the future...its her right...so i guess she can ask for it and he should give it at the time of nikkah.
…u shudnt tihnk of divorce b4 ur getting married i mean u hafta think postibely n want to make it work