Re: Right to choose .
Back when I was single & dating… there were guys I rejected simply b/c I felt 0 physical attraction towards them. I’m not talking about guys I thought were “ok” looking…I’m talking about men who actually turned me off. And then finally when I met my husband…I thought he was average looking…yet I choose to take a chance b/c he seemed nice. As I got to know him…the attraction grew. In my opinion…I do believe that there must be SOME sort of initial attraction in the beginning. If you find someone physically repulsive…then it’s not fair to them OR you to pursue a rishta. Especially in a arranged situation…most people don’t get the chance to spend a lot of time getting to know each other before baat paaki/nikah…and it’s not like you can hold off on certain physical aspects of marriage UNTIL that attraction grows which can take weeks or even months.
YOU are the one who will spend your life with your husband. It won’t be your cousins, won’t be your parents, and it certainly won’t be anyone from this forum. You have to communicate with him and compromise in order to have a successful marriage which of course involves physical intimacy. So NEVER feel guilty about rejecting someone if you feel that he’s not “the one” for you (whether it’s b/c of his looks or b/c of the way his family behaved or for any other reason). Being single is tons better than getting into a marriage and then realizing that you made a huge mistake…at which point you either go through the drama of divorce OR spend your life being stuck in a unhappy marriage.