The right children have over their parent’s money..
Is it their right? Are they entitled to it?
OR
The parents are doing a favour??
where do we draw the line that rights end here and a favor starts from that point onwards?
The reason i ask his…some people spend their parents money without thinking too much or caring too much…they think they are entitled to it and its their parents duty.
Others do think of it as a favor, and try to be careful..
and when parent’s retire then there are usually issues of distributing property n stuff too..
Well, my father is very tight with money so i dont mind spending his if i ever get the chance lol, whereas my mum has always been generous to me and my sisters, and i rarely take money from her. i also dont see it as a right, im at an age where i can work and make my own money, im an adult and so as i have the opportunity to make money myself, i dont see myself as having right towards my parents' money. if i needed help eg a loan for something then i'd pay it back when i could.
My problem is with the right over parents money after marriage.. especially when girls take money from their parents just becaue their husbands can;t afford and they were raised to be a princess and don't want to work! Well I even have a problem with the girls who expect to have a grand wedding and jahaiz at their parents expense and think it's their right!
I started to support myself at 18, studying on schoalrship and working part time but still soemtimes my mom tried to give me cash in teh name of gift which I took without complaining too much especially if I needed it but never and ever I asked her for money neither do I like to think that I have any right over her money!
Likewise, my children will not have any right over money.. we will support them as needed but to waste money, they will have to earn on their own!
Parents are doing us a huge favour, it is just one of the reasons why you're supposed to respect your parents. My dad has spent a lot of money on my education and my siblings too, he's provided us with all the comforts in life and I would one day like to do the same for him even though he always says he won't need it. Ever since I started working I don't like to ask my dad for money unless its absolutely necessary. Its a favour that we shouldn't abuse, if your parents have put you in a position to become independent, that's when you should stop treating your parents' money as a right. Living in the same house though is another story, I still consider that to be my right :D
I think you have a right on your parent's money till you finish your school and are able to earn your self a decent pocket money after that you are capable enough to take care of your own needs and should not ask from parents.
I am a parent and I think my daughter will have a right on my money even when she would become a mother herself (insha allah). If she won't ask me or tell me about her needs then whom will she tell ?
Kindly dont bring jahez and stuff into it, thats a whole different story!!
I agree with diamond123.
About having 'right' over the money, thats for the parents to decide. There are very less people out there who ask their parents for money. I study on a scholarship but i dont work because there aren't any good opportunities for me out there right now. Does that mean that the little extra money that i get from my parents makes me a maa baap kay paise pay aish karnay wali? No, it does not. If i cant support myself because of some unavoidable reason then there is no harm whatsoever in taking a little help from your parents.
It also depends on whether its your parents money or your grandparents money. If it your parents then you don't necessarily have the right , Cos your parents made that money on their own.
However , say if your dad is having a business that was handed down by his father to him , then most certainly it becomes your right.
A general view point :
Depends on how the kids are raised.
Nowadays, most parents go out of their way to spoil their kids by over indulging them tight from when they are toddlers. They then complain that the kids are spoilt.
One of my friends mom was a single working mother who was doing rather well for her self with an excellent bank job, she could spoil her kids if she wanted to but she has brought up both her daughters so well, that they never over spent, going slightly overboard only if there was legitimate reason for it.
Its all about how the parents bring up their children.
Remember never refuse a good offer but do not look forward to a handout either.
Parents money is family money and should be put to good use for every member of the family.
If you belong to a dysfunctional family then it is a different story.
Kindly dont bring jahez and stuff into it, thats a whole different story!!
I agree with diamond123.
About having 'right' over the money, thats for the parents to decide. There are very less people out there who ask their parents for money. I study on a scholarship but i dont work because there aren't any good opportunities for me out there right now. Does that mean that the little extra money that i get from my parents makes me a maa baap kay paise pay aish karnay wali? No, it does not. If i cant support myself because of some unavoidable reason then there is no harm whatsoever in taking a little help from your parents.
If you're studying...its different. When you're educated, capable and STILL not working...thats wrong.
I've never thought I had a right over my parent's money. They worked hard to earn what they have and they enabled me to be financially independent by paying for my higher education.
Quite the opposite, I now have a duty (not obligation) to help ease their lives if they need it and I am able (actually, even if I am not able). And more than that, it pleases me to give them little gifts or things that they may not buy for themselves. After all, unhon nai mujhay is qaabil banaya hai.
some people spend their parents money without thinking too much or caring too much.......they think they are entitled to it and its their parents duty.
.
^When parents don't set limits and are not firm....then they're unintentionally giving their kids the message that "it's okay" for them to be wasteful and irresponsible with little to no consideration for others.
Where is the line drawn? And what is considered a favor? That can vary from one person to another. When children are young and can't support themselves, then parents have an obligation to spend money for their basic needs. One might argue that basic needs such as food, clothes, etc are an obligation......whereas other things that they buy their kids such as games, etc....could be more like favors because they are not necessities. I don't know what the Islamic stance on this would be. I know that children have rights over their parents.....and parents have rights over their kids. When you become independent and make your own money.......it's odd to think that you have the "right" over their money. In emergency situations, parents/family usually offer support....and even then I think seem more of as the right thing to do than a "right." Of course....inheritance is a different issue where rights and amounts are detailed.
As a man my right ends when I start to earn money. But there is no mine and theirs in the family. My mom actively takes money from me, and my dad refuses to let me and my sister pay for stuff. He gets pretty upset if we go out and we pay. So we differ to him when we are out. When I am home, if i run out of money I go to my dad. I am out with the family and something needs to be bought I pay for it. Its not even a conscious decision in the family. Its just whoever has the money at that point pays. Hell my sister pays for me as well at points.
If you're studying...its different. When you're educated, capable and STILL not working...thats wrong.
I am sorry but i have never seen anybody do that. Maybe I dont know such people but everyone in my family ( extended and close) and friends when capable to earn dont bother their parents AT ALL. And i mean people in Pakistan and abroad!