how did you figure out the right from wrong?
it doesnt have to be anything specific.. but just things.. lets say for example, doing drugs. Did your parents have to sit you down to tell you, did ur older siblings inform you or interogate (sp?) you, did you have to experience it yourself to know or u just knew?
is it necessary to experience everything before deciding whether its right or wrong? good or bad for you?
Re: Right from wrong
Very good question. I think a lot has to do with personal experience (even as a child) and the trust you had in your parents.
I never had the urge to try drugs because of two reasons. One, as I explained in another thread, nearly all in my mother's family were in the medical field in one way or another and I heard the things they would do to addicts to make their stay miserable at the hospital. My mother used to say that they did not want this person to feel as though going there was something they would want to go through again. She said that they hoped that it would make enough of an impression to have them think twice. They also had a lot of horror stories about people becoming mentally impaired.
The second part is harder. I was an athlete is high school (another reason I didn't). My best friend and I would work out together on the weekends and there was a dealer who lived around the corner. I saw a man (about 22) that bought something from him start beating the people in his family (mom, younger sister, uncle, best friend) until most were bloody by the time the police showed up. He never would have done something like that in his right mind. To this day it still bothers me.
Sometimes when you are young you really don't understand the full consequences of doing things that are wrong. My mother used to say that teens can't see beyond the end of their nose (they can't see what might happen). For things like drugs and the consequences of unprotected sex, I volunteered myself and my children (when they were over the age of 13, of course) at a local AIDS clinic where they were able to see first hand the effects of AIDS. We also volunteer at shelters and thrift stores. Mostly because volunteering is a good work and I want to make sure that they do when older, but also to give my kids perspective on the world and something other than a mommy lecture that they tune out at will. But I want that perspective to be under my eye also, another advantage of volunteering.
Re: Right from wrong
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is it necessary to experience everything before deciding whether its right or wrong? good or bad for you?
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Experience helps a lot but it isn't a necessary component. (I don't need to commit a murder to know that murder is wrong) However, in matters where the public opinion is generally more divided (drugs, pre-marital coitus etc) you often need to set your own morals/standards and I personally find it better to get some idea of what I would be missing before I decide to strike it off of my wishlist.
Every prespective matters. It is generally healthier to make an informed decision, based on information from multiple resources than follow a certain doctorine blindly on the basis of pure faith.
Re: Right from wrong
How did i figure right from wrong
there are some things that you dont have to experience for yourself to realise its good or bad.
just use the judgement youve built up over the years.
This is just and example that I saw last week
There were three 1year old kids near a hot radiator
the first managed to get itself to to it and touched it and screamed.
the second wouldnt touch it because she knew that the radiator wasnt nice and had made the first baby cry
and the third baby was put its hand out and touched it and pulled his hand away.
disclaimer
no babies were hurt in this experiment.
Re: Right from wrong
interesting responses :)
I dunno how i learnt.. my parents never really told me what was right or wrong. But yeah, I was told a few times.. "sadzzz u know what our religion and culture says... its ur choice".. at the time i had no idea what religion and culture was, nevertheless i figured it meant what looked bad was bad.. and i couldnt go near it..
but what i wanna know is.. how would u tell ur kids whats right and whats wrong? would you let them go out and experience it.. stop them.. tell them why its not right.. or what?
Re: Right from wrong
Okay one example I will use is dating. I have every right to tell my kid that dating is wrong, according to my beliefs. However, I wouldn't be so strict, like not letting them even talk to male classmates that they decide to rebel and go crazy and end up jeopardizing their lives, their futures, self-respect, etc. Isnt it part of being a parent, telling your children what is right and wrong? When they are older, they can decide for themselves if dating truly is wrong or not, and if they feel it is okay, then I can (somehwat) rest easy that I did the best I could, and it's their own responsibility now....