Reviving Our Sense of Gheerah (ghayrat)

Society Religion & Philosophy
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Reviving Our Sense of Gheerah

Fatima Barkatulla

We live in societies in which most men and women have lost their sense of modesty, women are obsessed with their appearances and wear clothes to be seen by others and to attract the attention of other men even if they are married! They have lost their sense of shame. Marriage is often looked upon as old-fashioned and short term affairs and frivolous relationships are the norm, everyone waiting to attract a better partner and feeling totally justified to dump one partner for another at the drop of a hat. Feminism too has reached its peak and men and women are told to suppress their natural emotions. Men are not even embarrassed when their wives are dressed up and attract the attention of other men, they don’t mind if another man sees, chats, laughs and even dances with their womenfolk and if they do mind, they are told not to be so possessive!

In Islam we have a concept of Gheerah. Gheerah is an Arabic word which means protectiveness or jealousy. It is a good type of jealousy, like when a man feels jealous or protective over his wife or sisters and other-womenfolk and doesn’t like other men to look at them. It is a natural inbuilt feeling Allah has given men and women. The Prophet (SAW) had the most Gheerah for his wives and all of the companions were known for their Gheerah. All Muslim men should have a collective sense of protectiveness for Muslim women as Allah says in the Qur’an: “The Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…” (Surah An-Nisaa, Ayah 34). Men who do not care about how their women behave and appear in front of other men and don’t enforce hijaab upon their wives or women-folk are called Dayyooth. Being a Dayyooth is a major sin and a detailed discription of this evil characteristic can be found in adh-Dhahabee’s book of Major Sins (Kitaab ul-Kabaa’ir).

A story of Gheerah

To further understand the quality of Gheerah, we can look at an incident that Asmaa’ (RA) the daughter of Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq (RA) and sister of Aisha (RA), relates about herself. Abu Bakr was a wealthy merchant and he married his daughter Asmaa’ to the great companion Az-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwam (RA) who was a very poor man but a man of great piety and one of the companions who were promised Paradise. Asmaa’ relates: “When az-Zubayr married me, he had neither land nor wealth nor slave…”, so Asmaa’ had to work very hard kneading dough, going far off to get water. “And I used to carry on my head,” she continues, "the date stones from the land of az-Zubair which Allah’s Messenger (SAW) had endowed him and it was a distance of two miles from Madeenah. One day, as I was carrying the date-stones upon my head, I happened to meet Allah’s Messenger (SAW), along with a group of his Companions. He called me and told the camel to sit down so that he could make me ride behind him. I felt shy to go with men and I remembered az-Zubair and his Gheerah and he was a man having the most Gheerah. The Messenger of Allah (SAW) understood my shyness and left. I came to az-Zubair and said: “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) met me as I was carrying date-stones upon my head and there was with him a group of his Companions. He told the camel to kneel so that I could mount it, but I felt shy and I remembered your Gheerah.” So Asmaa’ declined the offer made by the Prophet (SAW). Upon this az-Zubair said: “By Allah, the thought of you carrying date-stones upon your head is more severe a burden on me than you riding with him.” (related in Saheeh Bukhari)

Look at the sense of dignity and modesty of Asmaa’! See how she felt shy in front of men? See how careful she was about her husband’s feelings? She knew that her husband had a lot of Gheerah so she didn’t want to upset him by accepting the Prophet’s (SAW) help even though the Prophet was the purest of men and even though it meant bringing hardship on herself! And look at az-Zubair (RA), even though he had a lot of Gheerah, he didn’t want to inconvenience his wife. What a beautiful relationship they had!

Nurturing our sense of Gheerah

Sometimes Muslim women don’t understand if their menfolk want them to cover their faces or if they ask them to change something about the way they dress or speak in public, thinking that the men are being over-protective. But my dear sisters! If your husband asks you not to wear a certain colour of khimaar because it brings out the beauty of your eyes, or if he wants you to cover your face - by Allah, be thankful! Be proud of the fact that your husband has a sense of Gheerah for you and that he values you and cares for your hereafter. He knows what men can be like more than you do and so never try and suppress his Gheerah in these types of matters. And his concern for you should incite your own sense of honour! Why should any man be able to see your beauty and think indecent thoughts about you? We must nurture our own and our menfolk’s sense of Gheerah by behaving and dressing modestly ourselves and paying attention to their valid opinions. We expect certain behaviour from them and they expect it of us. And besides, if our husband asks us to do something that it not Haraam, we must do it.

Subhan Allah! Look at the difference between how Islam values and protects women and how cheaply women are treated outside of Islam! As Muslims we have to be careful that our Hayaa’ (sense of modesty and shame) and Gheerah doesn’t wear out in a society in which people have lost their Hayaa’ and Gheerah.

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great article bro :k:
jazakallah for posting

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the other part of ghairat and sharm o haya is to avoid staring no matter what someone is wearing. drooling, whistling, groping etc is out of line as well just as an FYI

what if women want to protect their hubbies from the eyes of other women, can they be protective and ask them to not dress nicely and all :)

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so the only role of men in sharam n haya is to make sure their wives cover?? wat about THEM?? wat about men who chat with women?? wat about men who check out women?? Shouldnt the husband have a sense of gheerah for himself??

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thanks for appreciating irem.

fraudia and tj why are you assuming that men don’t need to have sharm-o-hayaa? of course they should, just because this article doesn’t cover that does not mean those rules don’t exist in islam. muslim men are not allowed to look at non-related females, talk to them unnecessarily, shake hands with them, maybe i’ll post summat on that too

as for men doing purdah, that’s impractical, men have always been the breadwinners and it’s not possible for them to stay behind a purdah.

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by pk taz: *
as for men doing purdah, that’s impractical, men have always been the breadwinners and it’s not possible for them to stay behind a purdah.
[/QUOTE]

r u implying that if you do purdah you can't earn bread?

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Re: Reviving Our Sense of Gheerah (ghayrat)

[QUOTE]
Originally posted by pk taz: *
**Reviving Our Sense of Gheerah*

Marriage is often looked upon as old-fashioned and short term affairs and frivolous relationships are the norm, everyone waiting to attract a better partner and feeling totally justified to dump one partner for another at the drop of a hat.
[/QUOTE]

Isn’t this a bit of exaggeration? I don’t think we have reached that level yet…. It is a good writing but adding bits like these undermines the message that is being conveyed.

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it's not an exaggeration, it's true, maybe not yet in our community but amongst the white ppl, definately.

we've followed them in everything else, we'll catch up in this as well, there's a hadith that this ummat will follow those who came before them (jews & christians) so much that even if they entered a lizard hole we'll follow them.

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by pk taz: *
it's not an exaggeration, it's true, maybe not in our community yet but amongst the white ppl, definately.
[/QUOTE]

depends who the audience is... if it was Muslims then we agree that it is an exaggeration... if the audience is "white people" then this writing is meaningless to them.

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yes but like i said we're following them in evrything and this trend is growing really fast amongst desis/muslims as well.

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I didnt say men should start wearing burkas but according to the Quran they are suppose to lower their gaze...n i wasnt assuming anything, but the thing u posted is incomplete if u dont mention that cuz all it says it they are not suppose to let women dress like that which is only part of it...(this was the longest sentence i ever wrote, hope it makes sense)

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i totaly agree, men should lower their gaze too, women not covering is not an excuse to ogle at them, both genders have to abide by the rules.

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*Ghayrat hay buri cheez jahan e tag o do main
pahnati hay darwaish to taj e sir e dara. *

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:konfused: please “Tashreeh”

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pktaz

also the standards of decency should not be exxagerated like they have been, someone in decent clothing is enough really. no need for tent like burqaas, and no need for face masks as women in KSA wear/wore

what I am talking about is guys who want some extreme puritanical version of what they think the dress code s imposed upon their wives, but for themselves choose the most lenient version.

and once again, the whole "requirements" of a decent dress code have been argued here before. PA has posted quote extensively about it and may enlighten us again.

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Tazzy luv, why are you mentally regressing?

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^^ In ref to Fraudz.
Part of being a muslim is to have modesty . Covering oneself is a requirements for both genders. As a hijab is for a lady, same is the beard is for a man. Both are forms of modesty along with protecting ones gaze and having pure intentions. To refer to a man to cover like a woman, is to deny the differences Allah has created each gender with.
Comments refering the Burqa as a tent or woman with face masks, only confirms western ideology, to be liberated a woman should wear lil clothing as possible :rolleyes: so they can exploited, lol. It is like how short a lady’s skirt some how measures how smart she is. It is brainwashing to promote exploitation of woman’s bodies.Comments similar to this only puts down islamic morale due to lack of knowledge and objectivity. And in times like these muslims should unite and extract as much pride and morale from one another as much as possible about our faith. And to encourage the struggle towards the realization of who Allah is and how we are in debt to follow his commands.:flower2:

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*Originally posted by Iqraa_k: *

**^^ Part of being a muslim is to have modesty . **

agreed

Covering oneself is a requirements for both genders

agreed

** As a hijab is for a lady, same is the beard is for a man. **

The definition of hijab may vary, and the beard being “a farz” is very disputed.

Bo**To refer to a man to cover like a woman, is to deny the differences Allah has created each gender with. **

But since both should wear clothes that are nto too clingy and outlin the body too much, when it comes to that then we are nto concerned about denying the differences created in each gender?

**Comments refering the Burqa as a tent or woman with face masks, only confirms western ideology, to be liberated a woman should wear lil clothing as possible :rolleyes: **

I am not quote sure where you made this illogical leap of reasonong, or lack thereof.

Burqas are not required, prove it otherwise. face masks are not required..prove it otherwise.

Its not all or nothing in the real world..If someone is nto wearing burqaas or face masks, it does not mean that that lady will be parading nude or wear as little as possible. there are plenty of very religious and very modest ladies who wear hijab, but have no interest in burqaas or face masks.

**. It is brainwashing to promote exploitation of woman’s bodies. **

It is nothing of the sort. Non sense. I would suggest that forcing burqqas and masks as “requirements” rather than " cultural norms" is brainwashing to promote suppression of women.

**Comments similar to this only puts down islamic morale due to lack of knowledge and objectivity. **

comments like what? that burqaa and masks are not mandatory? sorry if you think they are mandatory then you are suffering from a severe lack of knowledge and objectivity. Prove it otherwise.

**And in times like these muslims should unite and extract as much pride and morale from one another as much as possible about our faith. **

yes but blindly following suggestions that certain cultural aspects are infact religious aspects is not the right way to go.

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^^
I get burkas are not the scale to measure ones religious connection but to call them tents & face mask is suggesting the ladies who wear purdah are weak, why els would someone where a tent?
Do u think all woman who where burqas out of force. A muslim woman who choses to wear a Burqa is because she has a dictator for a husband or she has no free will of her own. PPl should liberate her because theirdefination of hijab varys from hers. Suppressing cultural norms into religious aspects are, the father forcing his daughter into nikkah with a man she does not choose. Or the husband neglecting his wifes rites to please his parents.or Slaying of woman due to honor killings. Or a husband blurting out divorce thrice at once and the wife with 4 kids has to marry another man than get a divorce again ,so she can go back to her first husband. All this because of our jurists don’t want to see another school of thought apparently they are convinced theirs is rite and to borrow something from another school of thought would be wrong. All though all school of thoughts have studied different times of the Prophet’s life. This is oppression,limited understanding. Most muslims recite the quran without fully understanding the meaning of the arabic text.. How are we to grow as muslims and break these cultural norms chains.
Why is the burka looked as, fuel of oppression and not the illiteracy. I did not say the burqa was mandatory :lahol: , but if a woman chooses to wear it , than no one, especially muslims, should poke fun at her by put downs like her burqa is a tent, or face masks, bring down her morale. In front of the kufar showing muslim who do purdah are meek need of liberation-lol look what happened in france. Now that is trampling on rights,what is next? Where is the liberation of france’s muslim womans rite to practice her religion.?
Many muslim woman in west choose to wear their burka
and :alhamd: many reverted sisters also although,they live in post 9/11 society:flower2:

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by hiccup: *
Tazzy luv, why are you mentally regressing?
[/QUOTE]

Astaghferullah, becoming religious is mental regression?

I like it this way, it’s cool to rebel against societal norms, well I was doing that before as well, but it got boring… lol…