question to those (especially guys who are going to be living with their parents once married), would u recommend ur parents to retire as early as possible so that you could start supporting them? or would u recommend them to keep working.. and wait so that the superannuation grows to a healthy amount?
although, it really shouldnt be upto you as a kid to make this decision, what would u say? or what would u want?
lemme give u my example my family has just built a house and we’re inshallah moving in after eid. Both my dad and bro have put in the money to build this beautiful house and obviously the loan is massive.. (i get stressed thinking about it cus i dont want my dad to have to worry bout paying it off)
my bro, will inshallah be getting married in the next year or two and his wife will be moving into the house.. and prob by that time i would be kicked out… my bro was suggesting that my dad should retire in 4 years, and he’ll take care of everything from then (he’s actually paying a lot of the stuff now as well).. but dad says he’d like to continue working at least for another 8 years.. and mum said he should as well.. cus that way, they’d be able to help my bro finish the loan off much quicker and have enuff to survive (as in both my mum and dad)
neways.. just wondering, as kids what would u say? I’d like my dad to retire soon, but i think taking him away from his profession will make him grow older sooner and take him away from something he loves…
wese to mein larki hoon...par phir bhi i wudnt want my abbu to retire soon...
yeah i do want his aaram etc...par i dun want to have that feeling keh abbu's getting older :(
thats exactly what i have been thinking these days saddz.... i would like my dad to retire in about 4-5 yrs from now on so that inshallah when i start my professional life i would have something to responsible about.. he has been in a real estate business so i am sure he will keep investing and doing something on the side.
infact i had a little man to man conversation with my dad about this issue and he was pretty cool about it and said u study as much as you want and then i am pretty sure u will take care of everything... that kind of feel nice knowing that your parents believe in you.
my bro and i are already in our professional careers, Alhamdulillah.. and hence we were discussing when dad should retire… mums already stopped working for awhile, so our main concern was dad
the thing is, i think when parents start having health concerns and emotional/mental tension… they should sorta slow down the activities in their life and try to be in less stress as they can..
thats sweet what ur dad said to you.. but u know once u do finish studying and enter the workfield, it’ll take u a bit of time to stand on ur feet.. prob is different amongst people… but do take that into concern..
yeah u r right sadzz, i think with my area of study i am going to start professinal life in about 1 or 2 so that still gives me some time to understand the whole situation. that was the same reason my mom decided to stay home cuz dad got sick in the summer so now i study help him a bit in his business and mom makes sure he is taking care of himself so things are working out. ultimately he wants to move back to pakistan cuz there he still has some friends with whom he can do something when he is retired and i believe that time is very close infact he is only waiting for his paperwork here.
my only concern about this issue is that i won't be there, i know my mom will move with dad but if get a job here it will be difficult for me to be there whenever they are in need. i never went abroad for studies becuase of the same reason but i guess something will come up inshallah.
^ i think a lot of kids face that problem.. with their parents moving back to pakistan. My parents were suggesting that too and my brother thought it was a good idea for them to spend time with their relos in pak.. but i think we go back so often, that it doesnt matter... plus the health system is a lot better here... and i reckon parents are always happier being nearer their kids... just my opinion..
would u consider moving back with them if u could? thats an option too i guess :)
u know how it is for the first 5-7 yrs of my professional life i will live where ever i could get a nice job and would want my parents to move with me, but that is my idea. moving back with them, i always kept that as an option and studied what could be useful over there too so if i find a job there yeah sure i will move.
u r rigth there the health system is really bad and comparing to canada u will never wanna move. my parents had a discussion about it that where to live after they retire and my dad was like if you can afford you can always come and see your kids or youe kids can come and see you... so i guess thats up to them to decide.
thats great.. at least u thought about the education and who knows u may go back there as well and work :) and yeah its true, i guess parents or you can go back and forth..
i think we've just been back to pak too many times and the problems within the khandan are just a turn off... hence i think we're gonna stay here.. who knows :)
yeah khandaan is the biggest problem but the best thing about my family or i should say my mom is that she believes in having some short-term goals and a long-term goal so that one is not surprised by the situation.
my family has just built a house and we’re inshallah moving in after eid. Both my dad and bro have put in the money to build this beautiful house and obviously the loan is massive.. (i get stressed thinking about it cus i dont want my dad to have to worry bout paying it off)