Respect towards parents

Society Religion & Philosophy
1

Assalaam Aleikum,
I m new in this forum, and have 2 be honest have not much knowledge of Islam unfortunately except the basic.
So u will u get alot of perhaps stupid posts, but I want to learn alot.

I had a discussion with a friend of mine about respect towards parents.
I know one has to respect his/her parents but what if the respect comes from only one side----> from kid to parents, and the parents treat the child like dirt?

One could say that no matter what the parents brought the kids to this world, but its also true that the children did not ask to come to this world.

The parents wanted kids so they have to take care of them and treat them well, for mutual respect.

I did ask this question to some (grown ups) people but they all said, no matter what the child has 2 respect his folks because of Islam
I dony believe this because I dont see the logic in it!

2

You have to respect them...There are no ifs, ands or buts about it...You may argue, you may dislike, you may even hate some characteristics of your parents, but never disrespect them...

3

According to Islam, Children have to respect their parents even if their parents have million of mistake and other shortcomings.

4

Parents deserve respect because they have clothed and fed you and cared for you. Do you know the amount of work that is involved in caring for an infant?

5

One's supposed to respect their parents, even if they are not muslims

6

Respect your parents ..... especially!

One day you will be a parent.

Who ever said parents don't make mistakes?

They do. They will. They are human!

just like you

They want was is best for you!

<~~ Ask me. I'm a mom!

7

convert the hatred in the parents' hearts to love....
love them more so they'll love u back....
there is no way u cud hate ur parents or be disrespectful of them....

8

Islam orders us to have unconditional and supreme respect for our parents…:flower1:

Allah hum sub ko hidayat de…

9

respect for parents is not absolute. If they are asking you to do something fundamentally wrong and against Islam you must say no.

10

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Lajawab: *
You have to respect them...There are no ifs, ands or buts about it...You may argue, you may dislike, you may even hate some characteristics of your parents, but never disrespect them...
[/QUOTE]

Shouldnt respect come from both sides??

11

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by google: *
According to Islam, Children have to respect their parents even if their parents have million of mistake and other shortcomings.
[/QUOTE]

Y? its easy to say they 'have to', but y do they have to respect em?

12

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by aishaA: *
Parents deserve respect because they have clothed and fed you and cared for you. Do you know the amount of work that is involved in caring for an infant?
[/QUOTE]

Well it was their choice to take a child yes?
But the kids didnt choose anything, and they cant choose anything.
So the parents 'have to ' take care of the kids, and the kids DONT 'have to' take care of the parents when the crow up!
This sounds logic,

13

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Insaniyat: *
One's supposed to respect their parents, even if they are not muslims
[/QUOTE]

Thats true, But I m talking about mutual respect .
Even when there s no love/faith involved in it

14

Prae,

My view on this is that parents should be respected yes, but as someone else stated, this doesnt mean you must obey them in everything they say, especially if you are muslim and it goes against islamic teaching (assuming you want to follow islamic teaching).

Prophet Abraham(AS) was told by his father to denounce his faith, but he refused.

I personally believe that if your parents are oppressing you, then you must help them to stop oppressing you. Relates to a hadith I posted a month ago, stating:

Narrated Anas:

Allah's Apostle said, "Help your brother whether he is an oppressor or an oppressed," A man said, "O Allah's Apostle! I will help him if he is oppressed, but if he is an oppressor, how shall I help him?" The Prophet said, "By preventing him from oppressing (others), for that is how to help him."

To me atleast, this also relates to your parents. I have read some horrid accounts of child abuse by parents, and one simply cant just stand there and take it. The parents have a duty to look after the welfare of their children, and teach them the right way, with love. So yes, parents also have a duty.

The prophet(SAW) was always polite in his dealings with others, even if they mistreated him, and that is an example for us to follow.

15

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by AvgAmericanGirl: *
Respect your parents ..... especially!

One day you will be a parent.

Who ever said parents don't make mistakes?

They do. They will. They are human!

just like you

They want was is best for you!

<~~ Ask me. I'm a mom!
[/QUOTE]

Well then your one of the few, who wants best.
What about the thousands of parents who abuse/misuse/beat up for no reason their children?
(not talking about myself)
Do they also have the RIGHT of respect?
I have to disagree,
becoz every CHILD also has a right of a happy life and the parents DUTY is to take care of that.
But alot of them fail, and I dont think there s any excuse for that, because THEY CHOOS for the child

16

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Munni: *
Prae,

My view on this is that parents should be respected yes, but as someone else stated, this doesnt mean you must obey them in everything they say, especially if you are muslim and it goes against islamic teaching (assuming you want to follow islamic teaching).

Prophet Abraham(AS) was told by his father to denounce his faith, but he refused.

I personally believe that if your parents are oppressing you, then you must help them to stop oppressing you. Relates to a hadith I posted a month ago, stating:

Narrated Anas:

Allah's Apostle said, "Help your brother whether he is an oppressor or an oppressed," A man said, "O Allah's Apostle! I will help him if he is oppressed, but if he is an oppressor, how shall I help him?" The Prophet said, "By preventing him from oppressing (others), for that is how to help him."

To me atleast, this also relates to your parents. I have read some horrid accounts of child abuse by parents, and one simply cant just stand there and take it. The parents have a duty to look after the welfare of their children, and teach them the right way, with love. So yes, parents also have a duty.

The prophet(SAW) was always polite in his dealings with others, even if they mistreated him, and that is an example for us to follow.
[/QUOTE]

Ok, I agree with that, But tell me, what child has to teach HIS/HER own parents? and show them the right way?
yea when he grows up perhaps, but his youth can be horrible.
I dont think the child has to show respect for this.
I always believe that respect has to be earned.

Parents EARN it by bringing their children up with love and respect.

17

Y?

18

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by armughal: *
convert the hatred in the parents' hearts to love....
love them more so they'll love u back....
there is no way u cud hate ur parents or be disrespectful of them....
[/QUOTE]

Dont be this naive man, I dont think your still a child are u?

Convert some ones heart, there s less then 1 in a 10k chance of doing this.

Almost ever parent, no matter what race/skin colour thinks he / she s right and the children are wrong. The parents among u know this is true.
And I dont believe that beating ups are good for a child.

I think manny of u have had the blessing perhaps that u had swell parents. and thats y u have unconditional respect for them.

19

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Zakk: *
respect for parents is not absolute. If they are asking you to do something fundamentally wrong and against Islam you must say no.
[/QUOTE]

Zakk bhai, here I'll distinguish between respect and obedience.

Perhaps obedience is not absolute but respect is....even the refusal to do something can be respectfully conveyed innit :)

20

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Praetextatus: *

Y?
[/QUOTE]

b/c we are not even supposed to say 'uff' to them :)

Allah hum sub ko hidayat de...I personally still need to work hard to reach that level.... :(