reluctant husbands!!

[seteil]

@PunjabiRose

All you can do now is wait and see what his reaction is to the fight. He now knows where you stand on the issues and atleast that will never be an excuse on his end. No one but you know the situation best.

But I will tell you about my personal experience. I dated my fiance for 2 years … we were in no rush to get married… neither of our parents put any pressure on us or anything. But it was he who took the step of first getting to know my family and then asking them for my hand in marriage personally. It was very important for both of us that our parents got involved … it legitimizes the relationship and takes it to a more serious level. And the fact that it was he who wanted to do this… showed me how serious he was and how committed he was.

My fiance is 27 years old as well. He has also been working for 5 years but doesn’t own a house yet. Your bf seems to be in a much better position in this regard. That is a huge thing that he already has taken care off! Seems like he is doing just fine. My fiance knows that there are things that he still needs to accomplish before we get married (such as buying a place) … but he also knew that he didnt want to loose me. Getting engaged to me was very important. 2 years is plenty enough time to properly get to know someone and come to a decision whether you want to marry them or not. He wanted my parents and family to know about him… he couldn’t even tolerate the idea of my parents getting rishtaas for me.

You are right… it does take time for this whole process to take place. Getting the parents involved, baat paki, engagement, shaadi. By the time I get married I will probably be 27 years old and he will be 29. And inshAllah by then we will be more than ready and financially secure to get married.

Seems like you are thinking clearly about the situation tho.. just continue doing so and make smart decisions about your future and life based on how things pan out.

wow…ure fiance sounds amazing mashallah!! i dont think he would mind getting engaged for a few years but the problem is my family…they dont believe in engagements! and long distance engagement doesnt make sense…just in case it doesnt work out there would a big hoopla…i’m not going to talk about this with him further…hopefully once i move back and he sees how difficult it is he’ll wise up himself and i guess the smartest thing to do would be to just wait it out…and see how things stand in a year or so and then make a decision…if he feels just as strongly abt the whole thing even then…i’ll have to break it off and move on…because i really do not want to be stuck in a situation with no future…