I’ve seen this in North America that if both husband and wife are working and husband gets a job in another city, its usually wife who leaves her job and move and look for another job in the new city. Amazingly, for most of the part, it does not matter if wife has equally well paid jib as husband or not. Only in case of wife being a doctor when I see hubby looking for a job in the city where wife is working.
Also, this is not only in our community but in all the communities that I observed this thing.
Is it ok to give priority to hubby’s job over wife’s job when it comes to picking between which city to live in?.
I have some friends in the US (non-desi). She keeps getting AMAZING jobs and they adjust their lifestyle around her. He lived in South Jersey, she used to work in Philadelphia - that was fine.
Then she got a job in DC. She commuted for years! And during this time, they had their first son. Before the baby, she would live in DC Monday-Friday and come home on the weekends.
After she had her baby, her employers still didn't want to lose her, so they worked it out that she was required to work 2-3 days on-site every two weeks. So she left her son with his grandparents/husband and commuted.
After she had her second child, she continued to commute. About 6 months ago, she got offered a job you could not say no to - and this time her entire family relocated to California. The one advantage they have is that her husband's employer (the company he works for got bought out) is headquartered in California and because it's IT in nature - he telecommutes to work as well, now living in California. So, times are changing and yes some couples will follow the wife's job instead of the husband.
Is it ok to give priority to hubby's job over wife's job when it comes to picking between which city to live in?.
Well I guess it's al traditional stereotypes of Breadwinner being men. I feel sorry for the Women that have to move out for thier mens Ambitions... Oh well some guys get the back end too so it's just life I guess.
I think the majority of Men earn more though even when wage rates are about the same... men tend to do more hours as a whole which still makes them chief breadwinners... :)
Keeping an environment (sharing household duties with wife) where wife can go out and make a good earning is also in a way taking care of that duty\
Sure but only if there is a need for it. Otherwise the women has her duty to fulfil at home, why confuse things?
I am all for working women but then their set up should be like that too. I strongly believe one should be staying at home if they have plans for having kids.
I am all for working women but then their set up should be like that too. I strongly believe one should be staying at home if they have plans for having kids.
I like to agree with you because I also agree that a full time mother (SAHM) can provide for kids in a much better manner, but in this day and age where every household soul requires a huge amount of money to be raised, it would be great if mothers are also working. In USA, school hours are such that many parents can adjust their work in such a way that one parent can drop the kids and the other can be their to pick them up. If parents can adjust to such timings and also bring home one more income then its an ideal situation in my opinion.
I have some friends in the US (non-desi). She keeps getting AMAZING jobs and they adjust their lifestyle around her. He lived in South Jersey, she used to work in Philadelphia - that was fine.
Then she got a job in DC. She commuted for years! And during this time, they had their first son. Before the baby, she would live in DC Monday-Friday and come home on the weekends.
After she had her baby, her employers still didn't want to lose her, so they worked it out that she was required to work 2-3 days on-site every two weeks. So she left her son with his grandparents/husband and commuted.
After she had her second child, she continued to commute. About 6 months ago, she got offered a job you could not say no to - and this time her entire family relocated to California. The one advantage they have is that her husband's employer (the company he works for got bought out) is headquartered in California and because it's IT in nature - he telecommutes to work as well, now living in California. So, times are changing and yes some couples will follow the wife's job instead of the husband.
Im glad it worked out because I was about to say, who would want to live like that. Commuting is such a drag and even if its half hour per day, (1 hour roundtrip), that 1/24th of your day! Plus, spending 8-10 hours at work, 8 hours asleep, you dont get much left in the first place... Not worth it! And these commutes involving Jersey, DC, and philli are some of the worst in the country.
I guess it's a mutual decision between the couple. Different people will differ but in general I guess this happens as someone said It is the guys job to provide for his family.
I like to agree with you because I also agree that a full time mother (SAHM) can provide for kids in a much better manner, but in this day and age where every household soul requires a huge amount of money to be raised, it would be great if mothers are also working. In USA, school hours are such that many parents can adjust their work in such a way that one parent can drop the kids and the other can be their to pick them up. If parents can adjust to such timings and also bring home one more income then its an ideal situation in my opinion.
That's why i did mention it would be ok if there is a need for it :). Otherwise if there is a choice and it comes to who takes responsibility of the house and kids then it shud be the women no questions asked there.
Edit: Ofcourse that doesnt mean the husband doesnt need to attend to the needs of the house or kids other than providing them with money.
I had to relocate because of my husband's work. I had a perfect job where I made more than my husband and I quit everything for him. I do regret moving most of the times, I don't know if its right or not. It probably sounds bad that I say that I regret this but thats the truth. Its so hard moving from your family, friends the streets you know to an all new place just because he works there. And yes its always the girl's responsibilty to move in our culture, I don't know why either.
And thinking about it more objectively, no its not okay to give priority to husband's job. You should consider other factors like I should have before moving
but you read Busy's reply and she said that her job was the better one.
Plus its not the monthly income but long term earning potential that should be a factor too. Lots of women do not see them working till retirement age and looking towards quitting their job one day. That planing automatically makes thier salary the secondary household income and considered that way when it comes to matters like moving to another city.
I have another friend - she used to work in a Canadian financial insititution in Toronto and her husband was in IT (LOL - kind of like the last couple I mentioned). She got a job in the Bahamas, so they picked up their lives and moved to the Bahamas. At the time, her husband was able to telecommute. That being said, he lost his job while they were in the Bahamas and he ended up a stay-at-home dad while she finished her contract in the Bahamas.
When she got relocated again, they went to Singapore - they followed her job rather than his job or career prospects.
Point being, it's up to the couple to figure out what's right for them. As the wife, she did not resent being the primary earner and her husband was supportive and his lack of working was not a deal-breaker for them either.
but you read Busy's reply and she said that her job was the better one.
Plus its not the monthly income but long term earning potential that should be a factor too. Lots of women do not see them working till retirement age and looking towards quitting their job one day. That planing automatically makes thier salary the secondary household income and considered that way when it comes to matters like moving to another city.