0.Agnosticism: I’m not sure about this sh!t
1.Taoism: Sh!t happens.
2.Confucianism: Confucius say, “Sh!t happens.”
3.Buddhism: If sh!t happens, it isn’t really sh!t.
4.Zen Buddhism: Sh!t is, and is not.
5.Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of sh!t happening?
6.Hinduism: This sh!t has happened before.
7.Islam #3: If sh!t happens, blame Israel.
8.Catholicism: If sh!t happens, you deserve it.
9.Protestantism: Let sh!t happen to someone else.
10.Methodist: It’s not so bad if sh!t happens, as long as you serve gepar juice with it.
11.Judaism: Why does this sh!t always happen to us?
12.Christian Science: When sh!t happens, don’t call a doctor - pray!
13.Christian Science #2: Sh!t happening is all in your mind.
14.Darwinism: This sh!t was once food.
15.Feminism: Men are sh!t.
16.Capitalism: That’s MY sh!t.
17.Hedonism: There is nothing like a good sh!t happening!
18.Scientology: If sh!t happens, see “Dianetics”, p.157.
19.Jehovah’s Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Sh!t happens.
20.Jehovah’s Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our sh!t?
21.Jehovah’s Witnesses #3: Sh!t has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
22.Atheism: What sh!t?
23.Hare Krishna: Sh!t happens, rama rama.
24.Chauvinism: We may be sh!t, but you can’t live without us…