Unfortunately, I have found a shocking amount of such people to be relatively less sincere to their profession (Job duties / demands), health (in terms of REGULAR exercises) and other recreational activities which give benefit to a society, but might not be addressed “directly” in religious principles. They show patience, courage and make efforts “ONLY” in praying, reciting, thinking, talking…etc.
Also at times they fail to give time to their children in order to attend some LONG lasting religious gatherings.
It never used to be a weakness of religious people in the past. They were “Also” the BEST in horse riding, arrow shooting, wrestling, sword fighting, trading, making other daily life products, developing scientific research…etc. And they were the ones who used to give reasonable time to their family as well.
I understand that religious duties should be given priority and Islam is " A complete way of life" but why at times a lot of people get too emotional to leave everything else in order to “Over” fulfil the spiritual demand of their religon. For example. Leaving an ill wife alone at home / unfinished task of job at office,…etc. to attend a religious gathering without realizing that there are other duties as well which should “ALSO” be managed in parallel.
p.s. No offense to anyone. IT is just an observation which might be wrong. I myself can be included in the list in many ways.
First thing that comes to my mind is people being ignorant (including myself). We don’t know our deen to the full extent and we try to do these things thinking Allah :swt: will take care of it. No doubt Allah :swt: will take care of it but we have to first understand the duty, what comes first and what should be the priority. A perfect example for this comes to mind is…
A man was visiting someone or had to do something (don’t remember exactly) so he left his camel without tying and went on to do what he had to do. Prophet :saw: on seeing this called the man and asked him why he did not tie the camel. The man replied I have my trust on Allah :swt: nothing will happen to the camel so I am leaving it like that. Prophet :saw: explained to him that this is not right. You have to first tie the camel and then have your trust on Allah :swt:
So I think we are very ignorant to begin with. Its every Muslims duty to first learn Arabic (that’s if they can) so we could understand Quran and if one cannot do that than he/she should get a translation of Quran and try to understand what it says than implement it in our lives. Unfortunately we have limited ourselves only up to learning how to recite Quran.
After all our first priority is to be successful in here after which is going to last forever and mind you the only thing we will do at that time will be REGRET if we don’t do something about it.
I agree brother teaser, but isn't hereafter efforts completely linked with this life efforts.
For example. A man has a job of providing comfort to people effected by earthquake and he has to learn the ways to rescue them. If for example he compromises this learning (not learning thoroghly) by spending that time in whole night "Ibadat" or he gets emotionally carried away with any other such form of spiritual practice, then this might mean threat to people whom he would rescue during earthquakes.
HERE I would like to specially mention that I have seen such people to gain more with less efforts with a lot of luck due to some DEVINE help. BUT does that mean we should always rely on devine help by making relatively less efforts. In other words not thinking and acting like a "Perfectionist"
p.s. Some people would be totally other way round, i.e. totally opposite approach to the one mentioned above.
In short how can we create a perfect balance so that we don't get carried away by one duty to such an extent that other duties suffer because of that particular duty.
Religious people have two major benefits than non religious ones.
The "belief" of a helping hand from The Almighty, which gives them extra energy to work harder. (But unfortunately a lot of them don't utilize it effectively for recreational purposes)
"Barakah" which:
makes work easier and pleasureable for them.
hindrance of bad luck are reduced.
After trying their level best, they are spiritually satisfied with results as they consider it a will of Allah, full of "Maslehat" (English translation ?)
I had discussed this in reply to post about balance between deen and dunia.
If you are Abdulah and if you are leading your life 24x7x356 following Allah's commandments then every act of yours is abadat. Abadat does not mean just standing in front of Allah for your faraz, nafil or sunnah namaz. Abadat does not mean just going for a chillah for tableeqh. Abadat does not mean just sitting in one corner and doing tasbeeh. All your worldly duties. Learning new skills, taking care of the family , fulfilling your job obligations all are abadat. You cannot leave one kind of abadat for the other kind of abadat. You have to fulfill both obligations they are both mandatory to fulfill honestly no cheating is allowed in any of them.
Unfortunately there are people who preach this kind of thinking that abadat is name of just performing some rituals, everything else is dunia and being a Muslim you are supposed to hate dunia, you are not supposed to care for it. Allah will take care of your duniawi affairs if you take care of the spiritual affairs. This is very dangerous thinking and a prescription for failure in deen and dunia both.
I totally agree with the first bolded part. The person should be helping out instead of spending the whole night in Ibadat as it is also like by Allah :swt:. To support what I just said here’s another story…
I believe it was Mosa :as: (not sure if it was Mosa or another prophet). Any way he decided that he will spend 6 days of the week to help out people with their concerns and problems and will spare 1 day of the week for Allah :swt: doing “Ibadat”. So on the 7th day as he sat down in his room doing Ibadat he sees two people coming through the wall towards him and upon reaching him they said we have a problem between us and would like you to solve it. Mosa :as: (or who ever that prophet was) right away understood that these are actually angels sent by Allah :swt: and Allah :swt: wants him to spend 7 days of the week helping out people.
No this does not means that one can skip the “fardh” Ibadat as well such as Namaz. No, not at all.
P.S. I will find out the actual prophet name and will post it here.
And about the second bolded part.
I don’t think one could be that perfect in this time of fitna and if that has been the case than Muslims would have not been degraded all over the world like now a days. What I would say is that we should try to be as much positive as we can and at least have the intention to do it perfectly then Allah :swt: will help us make it perfect.
Basically its obsession with religion wiithout having knowledge about it. This is exactly how Shaytan leads us astray, when we intend to do good things and the Shaytan cannot shake our resolve he messes up our priorities.
As mentioned here, our masajid in most places are limited whether purposely or not, to just imparting religious activities. When we say community center it should mean muslims can gather to share with each other in day to day activities that are of benfit and normal in everyones life as well. I have seen in most masjids, muslims use the place as a religious sanctuary rather than a place to commune besides performing their faraidh.
For instance, we pay a lot of money to get our little kids or youth involved in extra-curricular activities or recreational activities or sports activities. I find it disappointing when the people living around the vicinity of a community center cannot commune to carry out these activities in groups of muslim families and children. We are fine and dandy to spend money or time taking our children to places where they mix with children from other completely different faith (not that it is wrong) but we cannot manage to do the same with our own people.
Fitness and exercise is a beneficial part of life yet our masajid do not invest in them unless they are of grand scale.
Take our jobs for instance, a lot of muslims can be found reciting the Quran especially during Ramadan during their work hours if possible yet we fail to realize we are violating a contract we have with our employer, he has bought our time to work for him and pays us for it. Even I do this, but I make up for any time lost.
I have seen many families who spend day and night servicing the masjid and people over their at the expense of their own families. If you wander a keen eye you will realize those people are the ones with most trouble in their homes and with their children. It is most honorable and worthy to teach and service others for the sake of Allah SWT but when it comes to priority we are first responsible for our families.
These are issues seldom ever discussed or taken seriously among muslim communities yet it contributes to a lot of division that exists within our communities.
I too feel sometimes "practicalities" of life take a sideline and all faith is placed in rituals. And I strongly believe that we have been given abilities and duty to perform certain tasks. God helps those who help themselves (and others)
Very very true. I've seen it happen so many times, and its always with those who are more orthodox (or seemingly orthodox). I have a distant pseudo-cousin relative who is married to this man who was an average successful pakistani businessman. He got obsessed with religion to such an extent that he doesn't even sleep at home very much - he spends most nights in the masjid or on tableegh. He quarrels with his wife, because she wont wear a burqa or leave her +30 year career in medicine. He wasn't even around most of the time when his daughter was getting married because he didn't agree with having multiple ceremonies and didn't want to be around her friends and cousins as they are na-mehram.
She's so fed up with him and is close to calling for a divorce.
I mean is this kind of behavior healthy? Is this what Islam tells you - aren't you supposed to love your wife and take care of her emotionally?
I've seen the couple - he doesn't even speak to her anymore.
following faith consistently is necessary.
until one is able to do this, a spirtually content and rewarding life
or existence is not possible.
this has to created and genuinely practiced across all levels of one's life and with all one's might.
I agree with everything thats been written in the posts above; this is one extreme, but the other extreme is having Muslims who ONLY offer salat of fridays or on Eid, and sadly; this is what the majority of the Ummah is made up of. I'm not saying neglecting your family is a good thing but at least these ppl have a better intention (despite the fact that it is executed wrongly) then those who are Muslims where the only thing Muslim about them is their name.
Very very true. I've seen it happen so many times, and its always with those who are more orthodox (or seemingly orthodox). I have a distant pseudo-cousin relative who is married to this man who was an average successful pakistani businessman. He got obsessed with religion to such an extent that he doesn't even sleep at home very much - he spends most nights in the masjid or on tableegh. He quarrels with his wife, because she wont wear a burqa or leave her +30 year career in medicine. He wasn't even around most of the time when his daughter was getting married because he didn't agree with having multiple ceremonies and didn't want to be around her friends and cousins as they are na-mehram.
She's so fed up with him and is close to calling for a divorce.
I mean is this kind of behavior healthy? Is this what Islam tells you - aren't you supposed to love your wife and take care of her emotionally?
I've seen the couple - he doesn't even speak to her anymore.
Hmm! Sad. PCG I have one request of you, can you stop using labels such as Orthodox or Unorthodox. Muslims are already divided, and we must try to close the gap by not segregating them into groups based on how extreme they are or are not. This is a small baby step towards bringing muslims of different thoughts under one umbrella.
As for this familly, I think the husband is going to the extreme and becoming ascetic/monastic. However his behavior is becoming more aggravating probably because his family might not be giving in to his valid suggestions or complaints either (this does not mean donning a burqa). Has his family tried to reach some middle point with him or are they equally adamant in their opinions?
I agree with everything thats been written in the posts above; this is one extreme, but the other extreme is having Muslims who ONLY offer salat of fridays or on Eid, and sadly; this is what the majority of the Ummah is made up of. I'm not saying neglecting your family is a good thing but at least these ppl have a better intention (despite the fact that it is executed wrongly) then those who are Muslims where the only thing Muslim about them is their name.
May Allah SWT guide us all, Amin.
Agree and disagree. Not all such people are so superficial.
Some very good views. Thanks everyone for sharing. I think to some extent common people also encourage or discourage some activities.
For Example. It was perfectly fine for everyone for years when I used to go for swimming, Gym, running, ....etc. But after keeping beard a lot of glaring, eyebrows raising can not be ignored ( That too by fellow muslims). May be they are used to of not seeing bearded or religious people in such places. But that doesn't mean religious people should keep themselves either very thin or very fat. The more we participate in recreational or health related activities the more people would observes us, and the more it would become normal for common people as they would get used to it.
p.s. I gave example of beard as that might be considered as a sign of being religious by "some" people. Just wanted to clear that by this example I didn't mean to show myself religious.
Knights were three all of whom rode gallantly
The first knight heard of plight, so broke to the fore
An arrow flew his tunic tore, alas, the good man was no more
The second and third knights thus took heed
The former of the two went to brace his steed
In the fort he prepared himself proper
Then rode out on his iron clad trotter
The third of the three decided to work on a bit
Working on defences so he couldn't be hit
After a long while he rode out in to the sun
But it was too late the day had been won
The glory came to knight number two
Who returned in victory with a message for you
Plan well haste not
Work well dwell over not
To plan is our Deen
To work is our Dunya
We should not plan to go into the world to lend a hand without being equipped about Islam, but we should also not remove ourselves from the world through over prudence of religiosity.
His wife no longer entertains male colleagues and their families - she has agreed to take that saccrifice on her career.
His daughter agreed to wear the hijaab, not socialize with guys AT ALL (not even for professional reasons), and agreed to go to a girls only school. She managed to get into a really good business school (I forget which one - in Karachi) and it was co-ed and so upon persuasion he let her go so she could get a good business training. She eventually didn't complete because of her marriage (I don't know whether he was involved in that decision or not, but I tried to persuade her to finish and she said she'd think about it, but then got pregnant post-marriage.) Now she's a married woman and her husband is pretty open minded. I haven't seen her since the marriage, so I don't know if she's still wearing the hijab. She was only doing it upon her father's demands, and not of her free will.
His daughter agreed to not go out anywhere with friends and only stay at home and go to school.
His wife agreed to allow her two sons to be switched over to a madrassah, which she staunchly opposed because she wanted them to go to an English-medium school. Supposedly they're smart as whips though and the madrassah is a quality one and not an extremist sort. Its either that or they go to an English-medium school during the day and then go for religious school afterwards - can't remember which decision they settled on.
His wife agreed to not mind him going on Tableeghi missions, which is fine, but the problem is when it becomes too often.
So, they've tried to work with it, and there were so many times she came running to our family members saying she wants a divorce. My aunts would convince her to stay in the marriage and make the best of it - that you never know when people can change. They're so old, and frankly, she still has 2 boys to raise. After she's done with that, she might very well go for a divorce.
I have witnessed this incident where a 3 yr old girl was standing on the rear seat of the car and when asked her dad why she not in a car seat or belted up, he truly believed God would not let harm come to a little girl and he had full faith in God.
Reminded me of a story you may have heard before.
A religious man was conducting prayers for his congregation and sudden downpour caused panic among the memebrs.
The religious leader appealed to them to continue with the prayers and have faith in God. But as it started to flood the members of the congregation dwindled despite appeals from the leader.
Finally a handful of members were left praying when the water reached their waist level and still the leader said to them Have faith in God He will help us. But when they saw rescue helicopters, the members gladly allowed themselves to be rescued but the leader remained steadfast in his belief that God would help him out.
He drowned and went to heaven and the first opportunity asked God "O God I had so much faith in you why did you not help me out?"
God replied "Who do you think sent the rescue helicopters?"
Now we have the ability to make and wear certain safety gadgets and choose to ignore and leave everything to God...Is that even sensible?
I have witnessed this incident where a 3 yr old girl was standing on the rear seat of the car and when asked her dad why she not in a car seat or belted up, he truly believed God would not let harm come to a little girl and he had full faith in God.
Reminded me of a story you may have heard before.
A religious man was conducting prayers for his congregation and sudden downpour caused panic among the memebrs.
The religious leader appealed to them to continue with the prayers and have faith in God. But as it started to flood the members of the congregation dwindled despite appeals from the leader.
Finally a handful of members were left praying when the water reached their waist level and still the leader said to them Have faith in God He will help us. But when they saw rescue helicopters, the members gladly allowed themselves to be rescued but the leader remained steadfast in his belief that God would help him out.
He drowned and went to heaven and the first opportunity asked God "O God I had so much faith in you why did you not help me out?"
God replied "Who do you think sent the rescue helicopters?"
Now we have the ability to make and wear certain safety gadgets and choose to ignore and leave everything to God...Is that even sensible?
I heard this very same parable in my first day of high school... catholic theology class :D
