:k:
Good catch. :k: :k:
Re: Religion & matters of the heart
such matters are beyond our control that who ends up marrying who , these circumstances come up to test our faith and she will be judged by her intentions, which i'm sure in this case are very noble. Allah will reward her inshAllah.
there is zero point in getting married to anyone hoping they would change.
either get comfy with each others choices, or forget it.
Thumbs Up!
Although i agree with all the viewpoints posed.
I am taking the brave leap again to provide another perpective.
Niksik:
You are perfectly right, that a husband who does not pray, does not fast, does not doing anythign religious and tells her to stop practicing is extremly bad.
But id like to point, out, before trying to get a couple separated, which is the most disliked legal act by Allah, i would like to remind the lady to also be objective and consider her husbands good points -if he has any ofcourse.
you missed one minor fact. They are not married.
brave leap, indeed..but its best to look..before you leap.
the key miss from Niki post is indicated below.
Thank You, drive thru..
Someone I know has been together with this very nice gentleman for a while now. They get along very well and *have been talking about marriage. *
Niki..if she is uncomfortable now, and it does not seem like he is open to the idea of some compromise that is acceptable to her, then why get into something, expecting the guy to change a lot to be acceptable and for her to then have a lifestyle that is acceptable.
I think the girl has made the right choice-religion is the foundations we usually build our lives on-what we do, how we live etc. Plus, if they did get married and say he stayed the same...e.g. did not see the importance of religion he would eventually influence any children they had-the kids would grow up in a helter-skelter of religious conflict. I've seen it happen, ain't pretty.
On the other hand, maybe this guy will now realise what he is losing in terms of a women who can put her faith before a relationship and maybe he will wish to look at religion from a different view point and maybe just maybe they may end up together?
I've seen many people who would class themselves as none-religious and after a pilgrimage to Hajj/Ummrah they changed completely. One even said he felt lost, even though he knew what he wanted which was inner peace. He just didn't know how to love his religion more than the nightclubs, different girls for different occasions...I must say it was a slippery slope for him but now hes a transformed man.
Moral of the tail-the dude may not be into religion today but one day down the line he may become more involved with his religion.
It's always a bad idea to get married and think the person will change because you are basing everything on an "if" which may never happen.
Re: Religion & matters of the heart
They're not married yet...if their religious choices seem to be a problem now and niether party is willing to change then I believe they should let it go.
I know it will hurt but its even more painful in the long run when you put in so much effort but the person doesnt change...because its who they are.
If this guy is one with a softer personality...one that is open to change...then it might work out if the girl is very sensitive to how she goes about doing it. Even the most moldable personality resists change if done the wrong way. She has to show him, be the example and help him learn from her. She cant pressure him to change...it wont work...he will not do it.
Re: Religion & matters of the heart
Well, the thing is that he may change or maybe she will and meet at a middle ground, but at this time, they feel threatened by the huge difference in their belief systems.
Most people have asked them not to take any drastic decisions and perhaps think again…
The families were very happy for the two of them and they are very moderate. It is the girl who is very religious so to say, and no one can tell her, “honey, quit doing namaz.” 
Re: Religion & matters of the heart
so u personally want to see them together? but who knows wat happens after say 5-10 yrs of their marriage. in the beginning ppl let go things easily gradually it turns to conflict. isn't it better not to take any risk esp when they both hav doubts themselves?
Re: Religion & matters of the heart
Such a nice couple. Family friends. Grew up together. I guess they didn't realize their differences until major life decicions had to be made.
Someone I know has been together with this very nice gentleman for a while now. They get along very well and have been talking about marriage. However, this girl is having second thoughts now because he isn't a praticing muslim as she is. He doesn't believe that one needs to fulfil their namaz obligations, keep roza and all that and now he's been telling her to stop being so religious. That is bothering her and she has decided to break up. He is heartbroken...and well, so is she, but at this time she feels that her faith is being questioned.
There are no other problems between them, even the families know each other and are supportive of their relationship. Her point is that he judges her on her choices and she does the same in return, and so the possibility if compromise seems low.
What do you think should be done here?
Though you haven't mentioned it, I'm assuming that the fasting she does is the Ramadan ones and the basic five times salaats. There is nothing very religious about that. These are just basic requirements. If this is the case, I don't think she should compromise an inch on any of that.
If on the other hand, she was keeping nafl fasts all the time, spent hours in tahajjud and other nawafil salaat, and he's asking her to tone that down, then there might be room for compromise. But the way she's doing it, I think she's done the right thing and shouldn't even give it a second thought.