I don't think the live & let live philosophy can work with spouses. What about when you have children then. What do they follow?
Also as someone said actions speak louder than words. But if my actions are not doing much I wouldn't mind discussing this with my spouse at least once. If he/she gets it. Fine. If not then action, action, action. It'll eventually make a difference.
Also if I am not wrong in deen a wife or a husband is supposed to ensure that certain things be followed.