Hi folks…from the thread munni’s presented…there was this new question brought to ponder about. Does the person whom you plan to be with; does his/her religion and sense of being pious on the same level as you matter? Or does their practice not concern you?..
Do all the people who get arranged marriages even inquire about the other persons views or thoughts and partake on religion? Seems like they don’t…other more materialistic matters are looked at more clearfully than religion…which seems odd.
What do you folks think? Does compatablity based on religion matter, what if one is very close to religion and the other is not? What happens to the kids than?
personally im one of those ppl who say my relationship with ALLAH is my bussiness.. but i guess in the long run it does matter .. cuz if the husband is too religious.. obviously he wants his wife to also embrace religion closely... an ive seen women doo change an if the women r too religious.. they too clash in many ways with their husband in the values they instill in their children.. liek for example if the woman is too religious she might teach her child how to pray at an early age whereas her husband whose not religious might say "abhi to bacho ko khelne koodne do" so i thin it def does depend on tarbiyat.. but when children get into the world.. they will basically do whatever accordin to the beliefs they establish by their outside enviornment and at home...
personally i think, the marriage would be much firmer if u both carried similar concepts with regards to religion.
What if u urself are someone who embraces islam as a complete ideology, but ur partner is only secular?
so perhaps you choose religion to regulate ALL ur affairs (work,family,politics,marriage , prayer etc) wheras ur partner may only choose to regulate personal worship only.
Its likely to lead to conflict, unless one of the two parties is willing to change the concepts they carry.
Our concepts are the thoughts we have adopted, and thoughts are linked to emotion. therefore it can become difficult to love your partner whole-hearteldly due to conflict of thought.
this is my opinion, and this is what i have observed so far
[This message has been edited by eemo (edited May 08, 2002).]
I agree with Rabogulabo! I think it all depends on how much understanding you are going to be with your life-partner. Basically, there many adjustments in marriage. Religion and moral values count alot so it's really hard to be in that kinda situation you described above because then if you aren't very compromising, you don't feel satisfied with your partner and it effects alot to your kids!!
[This message has been edited by CurruptAngel (edited May 08, 2002).]
All of you brought up good points....however would you have a talk about religion before getting married?.....What if you are a moderate muslim and your mate is a muslim by name only......is it not as an important matter to converse about as is where you will be living.....what the fudge if you can talk about materialistic needs of this world...than why can't couples talk faith....its boring thats why....rather talk about the wedding day....and the fashion of the celeberation....what a petty.....
When ppl say they are moderate muslims whom are they fooling? For me either u are a muslim or not a muslim there is no in between stages or atleast I dont think there should be...yes the difference involves to what extend you pratice ur religion.
I know this is a complex topic..but even if the couple talks about religion and agrees before marriage we have to keep in mind that with time ppl and their views might change. People who never praticed before start to get deeply involved into religion matters whereas the other partner might not share his converting views. So what to do then?
I realize that i did not word that right.....all i am saying is like munni said that girl has no idea what her husband to be's stance on religon is...no one person can share the same views on religion....however you can talk about....or rather you should talk about it....in the end we all have to answer for our own....but is it not a concern?......For some people on the outside you may not realize it when you are getting arranged but religion in them provides the source for all they do in life...whereas for others it doesn't.....i don't really no...now i am getting way too deep...but all say is it should be talked about for compatablity but maybe that is just my thinking......
peace
I'm not a playa, I just crush a lot.
[This message has been edited by Asado (edited May 08, 2002).]
The individual I want to marry & I have MANY similar view points and we are at the same level religiously. Also, we both want to continue to grow as muslims.
..Oh and we have talked about religion on many platforms
It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces towards East or West; but it is righteousness to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer, and practice regular charity, to fulfil the
contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God-fearing. Verse 177 : Surah Al-Baqarah ]
[This message has been edited by Tube Runner (edited May 08, 2002).]
[quote]
Originally posted by Asado:
**Hi folks....from the thread munni's presented...there was this new question brought to ponder about. Does the person whom you plan to be with; does his/her religion and sense of being pious on the same level as you matter? Or does their practice not concern you?.....
Do all the people who get arranged marriages even inquire about the other persons views or thoughts and partake on religion? Seems like they don't.......other more materialistic matters are looked at more clearfully than religion...which seems odd.
What do you folks think? Does compatablity based on religion matter, what if one is very close to religion and the other is not? What happens to the kids than?
peace....
**
[/quote]
Yes, a persons faith does concern me. I plan on discussing it with every "potential".
I think for some people, they assume about a persons faith, and for others it isnt high on the list of priorities, or it isnt of much concern to them. Some people have the attitude of, "I will do my thing and you do yours, we can still be happy together." Works for some.
I personally would like some compatibility in beliefs. I think the important thing is to teach your children whatever it is you will, and make them understand that tolerance of other faiths is important. In the end, they will choose their own way. My beliefs are not exactly similar to my parents. smile
Learn to love yourself, then learn to love one-another