Do you ever wonder what people centuries ago wanted in their potential mate?
Whenever you look at the pop culture or mainstream, discription for an ideal man and women are changing. It is becoming ever more competitive. Right now a male like that of Justin Timberlake or Victoria Secret model is an ideal mate. Rich, good looking and famous.
Same goes with relationships. People are asking for someone who is understanding with their lifestyle, someone is understanding of their past, someone who is understanding of their beliefs. These understanding get deeper when you get to know someone.
If you look at the web, it is filled with matching sites of potential mate. One can choose them on the basis of political beliefs, lifestyle and even a pshychological test determining the compatibality of the potential mate. If you do those tests, it suggests that the person that you haven’t met or seen in real life is the one and once you meet them love will happen. All of these trends are reflective of what people are asking in their potential relationships.
justin timberlake??? :bleah: I think its usually teenagers that base their images of an ideal man/woman on pop-stars, as we get wiser our ideals change.
Though I am not aware of online ‘tests’ to determine compatibility, the matches that websites give you are just recommendations and give info for others that share common interests with you, something to get you talking I guess. Doesn’t necessarily mean that you will fall in love with the person once you meet but since there are common grounds between the two of you the chances that you will get along are a tad bit higher.
I think its more than teenagers and even if it is not what do those ideals change into?
Same here, not aware of those online tests, but they do mention and help someone choose their potential mate on basis of compatibality, which range from political beliefs, lifestyle etc.
What people wanted in their potential mate centuries ago?
Since we are desis I will restrict myself to our own kind, centuries ago most people didn't really have a choice when it came to marriage I would say it was whoever their parents or grandparents chose for them :D
...but FeFe our kind is also changing. I once got a glimpse of MTV X-Effect and that episode gave another defination of being a desi. I don't think there is a true defination of desi anymore. Desi could be someone who has lived his/her entire or most of the life overseas. Others think it is someone from homeland.
Parents and grandparents do choose potential mate today and there were love marriages or affairs in the past, but what drove someone to it?
what drove someone to an affair? i dont know... the need for change? the need for love? the refusal to follow the norm? the thrill of the illicit?
its hard to say but i'm sure all of these things are still applicable.
i think in the past marriages were based on practicalities more than emotion... it was all about can they provide food and shelter for me, as a woman, and for our future children? do we have good genes to produce children who will survive? does she have the temperament and physique to support a household? but i just finished reading a novel based on a farmland way back when so my questions are leaning more toward the working class.
for the uppercrust, i suppose it was all about connections- who do you know and how can i benefit from that? fairly superficial i think, and probably had nothing to do with love.
I agree with somegroovychick. Basically two people to fulfil each other basic needs. They did not have to have compatibility which is kind of a huge requirement today. I know of my grandparents and great granparents generation that personal communication was very limited to as and when required. No how was your day honey kind of thing. Plus extended family was the norm and so one on one time was very rare. So I guess what i am trying to say is that if basic needs were provided for ther was no need to look for other "fancy" factors. Also most people went with their parents choice and were not asked for their input...or rarely so even if they had certain needs these were never expressed.
And speaking of my grandparents...I know although they started off with very little in common, my grandparents developed a strong silent form of love...evident in the last few years of my grand mothers life. She had a stroke and was paralysed and my grandfather went to visit her and read to her every single day come rain or snow or sickness or health. I bet he never had a requirment that someone should love him or that he should love his wife...yet it was so beautiful.
that's a really beautiful story about your grandparents, aly-sam. thanks for sharing.
i agree with you, today the requirment is that someone should be in love with his/her potential spouse, which why we have trends and a blue print on how one should look like, their beliefs and other stuff before they even meet them.
Witch Dr: Would you like to further elaborate on what you wrote? Thanks
You are welcome. What I meant is that, in my view, a common factor while looking for a life partner in different cultures, races, eras and times must have been the health factor of the potential partner. Other factors might have changed or evolved.