Relationship with your bhabi ( sister in-law) and dhulabahi ( brother in-la

[_pyari_sii_bachi]

Re: Relationship with your bhabi ( sister in-law) and dhulabahi ( brother in-la

what?!?!

[TLK]

Re: Relationship with your bhabi ( sister in-law) and dhulabahi ( brother in-la

what?!?!

Did you ask me that question?

[AnGeL_EyEs]

Re: Relationship with your bhabi ( sister in-law) and dhulabahi ( brother in-la

@amana

^ He does have to move out of his parent’s house when he marries, unless the house has a separate kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and sitting area with locks for his wife. It is his wife’s Islamic right to separate accomodation, and if she chooses to forfeit that, then fine, otherwise her husband is depriving her of her rights, and will have to answer to Allah (swt) for it. If they choose to stay, his wife has to observe hijaab and proper adaab in front of her husband’s brothers.

**The reason for the hadith “the in-laws are death” **is because the “joking” and “flirtatious” relationship has the potential to lead to something more serious.

actually he doesnt HAVE to move…it all depends on the living situation and the wife’s level of comfort.

going back to that hadith…it doesnt say the “in-laws are death” even though some would like to think that …it says that the “brother-in-law is death”…that hadith just simply means that one should be wary of their BIL just like one is wary about death because you can get too close to the BIL since you are always around him.

I dunno…I’ve always thought about my BIL’s as my brother’s but not everyone may see their BIL that way. fact remains…they are not mehrem!

[Pathani]

Re: Relationship with your bhabi ( sister in-law) and dhulabahi ( brother in-la

@showkot

Salaams All

Its typical of asian families that the brother in-law is accepted to joke around with his elder brothers wife. It could be his elder cousins wife or anyone else he regards as an older brother who has a wife.

I have seen people joking with their bhabi and some of the discussions and jokes are very explicit and filthy.

Also it is accepted to get physical in terms of the joking and I have seen this as well, often unintentionally certain parts of the body is touched, but since its only joking and messing about it is seen as normal.

The result of such joking and messing about is that it sometimes leads to fornication and again I have heard of many such cases. The child of such a liason is brought up not knowing who the father is and the real father does not know that his nephew/neice is actually his son/ daughter.

I would like to know the views of other members on this:

How can we prevent such practices?

How do we explain to our parents/ elders who are pious in terms of their ibadat that such things is haram?

And have you seen or experienced such cultural practices?

Nauzobillah! My brother in law would keep distance as myself, even with father in law. Id rotten spoil them by cooking great meals and plan picknicks etc. but never had any free tone or joking beyond limits…
Infact, AJ would always get concerned when he saw me worried. He would ask about his elder brother if everything was ok and would say…Bhabi, we have given him into your hands, he listens to none. You have a good influence on him. I would wear chador, not even make up when I was with in laws.
We come from strict background ourselves and his family were very religious…nobody ever saw my mother in law be-hijab or even her hands.

I think, it all comes down to how own mother has been. I dont joke or talk openly with mamajaan so it was same with mother in law, yet I loved her just as my own mum. I would dress up when hubby and I were together or we would go out, even then I had medium lenthy black shawl covered over me…I didnt wear scarf but my mother in law respected my ways/dress code.

Ive never heard such a thingy b4 neither encountered it. Brother in laws are like own brothers and Islam teaches us to keep distance/haya. Really disgusting if the reality is lie that out there..... :bummer:

[hanibal]

Re: Relationship with your bhabi ( sister in-law) and dhulabahi ( brother in-la

With due respect, when the husband of one's mother or the husband of one's sister died, one cannot marry his mother or sister. WHen husband of one;s bhabhi died, one can

Only this difference is huge enough to see how aprt these realtions are

with ten time more due respect, have u understood my post!!!

what the hell ur above reply has to do with mine.. i suggest u should try to think that people other than u also have some moral values.. got the point

plus u can keep thinking in this way thay when ur brother will die u can marry her.. what a sick mind can think about this kind o stuff

I said when sister leaves, means when they get marry... and leave the house... then it is bhabies who fill their places....

I suggest u should start looking out of the well

[TLK]

Re: Relationship with your bhabi ( sister in-law) and dhulabahi ( brother in-la

with ten time more due respect, have u understood my post!!!

what the hell ur above reply has to do with mine.. i suggest u should try to think that people other than u also have some moral values.. got the point

plus u can keep thinking in this way thay when ur brother will die u can marry her.. what a sick mind can think about this kind o stuff

I said when sister leaves, means when they get marry... and leave the house... then it is bhabies who fill their places....

I suggest u should start looking out of the well

Although you started with "ten times more due repect", I faile to see any in your post. That is Ok

I was telling you what we learned from Islam. I was telling you the difference between sisters and bhabhis. I am not talking about expecting our brothers to die.

Try to calm down a little and dont take every word as an offense.

[hanibal]

Re: Relationship with your bhabi ( sister in-law) and dhulabahi ( brother in-la

Although you started with "ten times more due repect", I faile to see any in your post. That is Ok

I was telling you what we learned from Islam. I was telling you the difference between sisters and bhabhis. I am not talking about expecting our brothers to die.

Try to calm down a little and dont take every word as an offense.

The kind of thinking u have towards ur bhabies doesn't make u worthy enough to have respect. ( guess what u respect was not enough to win u one, even multiplied by 10)

and then should i say that u r expecting to marry them when ur brother is alive... oh man what sick mentality u r showing here

This is not Islamic section niether we are discussing one from islamic view point so i suggest u should move ur shop some where else..

[TLK]

Re: Relationship with your bhabi ( sister in-law) and dhulabahi ( brother in-la

The kind of thinking u have towards ur bhabies doesn't make u worthy enough to have respect. ( guess what u respect was not enough to win u one, even multiplied by 10)

and then should i say that u r expecting to marry them when ur brother is alive... oh man what sick mentality u r showing here

This is not Islamic section niether we are discussing one from islamic view point so i suggest u should move ur shop some where else..

Thanks man. I agree with you. you are right , I am wrong. You are extremely civilzed and I am sick. End of conversation

[hareem01]

Re: Relationship with your bhabi ( sister in-law) and dhulabahi ( brother in-la

@Hyperactive

WTH kind of a norm is this? A brother-in-law is a na-Mehram...For a brother to live in the same house as a married brother is death according to a Hadith...

Touching aside even inappropriate jokes are a nono...

Yeah but how we gonna understand this? This is against all the StarPlus and Zee tv's saas-bahu crap.

[shriek11]

Re: Relationship with your bhabi ( sister in-law) and dhulabahi ( brother in-la

[quote]
With due respect, when the husband of one's mother or the husband of one's sister died, one cannot marry his mother or sister. WHen husband of one;s bhabhi died, one can

Only this difference is huge enough to see how aprt these realtions are
[/quote]

I am confused? Did you compared bhabi to marrying your own sister and mom?

[armughal]

Re: Relationship with your bhabi ( sister in-law) and dhulabahi ( brother in-la

for a lady her brother-in-law (be it her sister's husband or her husband's brother) is na-mehram and they shud not have such a relation....