I used to have a great relationship with my sister in law years ago and I totally spoiled her by getting her good quality gifts for her birthday and tried my hardest to make her feel welcome into our family. She also did her part, it seemed, but I guess i didn’t really know her that well before because I lived 14 hours away and only saw her on special occasions. I’m going to think that she was genuinely sweet then though. About 2 years back, over a stupid issue that I think she blew totally out of proportion and over reacted to, I’m seeing her in a completely different light. Even if she was at fault, I tried to see it from her side and moved on wanting to keep a good relationship with her for my brother’s sake and because I didn’t want to lose touch with my niece and nephew that I love a lot.
I tried to call her to wish her on religious occasions after a few weeks after the incident just to glue the broken relationship back together but she was rude to me on the phone asking for money for something I thought she and my brother were paying for as a gift to me for attending their grand event. That’s what they had told me at the time. I sent a check to them immediately, figuring maybe it was because of that that she still did not want to repair the relationship. I sent gifts to my niece and nephew birthday presents but they never called to say thank you or to confirm they received the presents at all. It’s like she wants this relationship broken and wants to keep a distance.
Now, recently, when they came to visit me, whenever my sister in law was taking pictures of the family in front of whatever tourist site we took them, she made sure to take pictures excluding me. Like if I was taking a photo of a landmark, at that time she would take a pic of the family so all the pictures on the her camera were without me being in them. I felt hurt because I made sure to take pictures with everybody in the photos, no one excluded including her even if she decided to stand on the side, I would say, " bhabi, do you want to be in the picture…".
The whole time they were staying with us, she was the only one that had to serve the kids, I could never serve my niece and nephew and if I tried, she would be like “give it to me, I’ll serve it”. I made the dish for them, i figured I could atleast serve my niece and nephew. I felt bullied by her so I went upstairs and just did chores.
What the heck happened to her. She’s changed into this bullying, mean woman now.
I feel like I’m an outcast in my own family because my parents love their daughter in law and she wears a different, sweet mask around them so me talking to them about it would just fetch a “we don’t want to takes sides” " don’t put us in the middle of all this".
My brother has changed too and doesn’t see me as a part of the family. He used to call to ask how I’m doing since I’m alone here, now all that’s stopped.
All this family drama is most likely how marriage is and it makes me thankful I’m not married, I run from drama. Can’t deal with it.
