Relationship with In-Laws

Lifestyle Relationships
1

If your in-laws don’t show up to your wedding, because they do not support their son marrying you, would you want a relationship with them if they ever came around and finally accepted you as their daughter-in-law?

2

Re: Relationship with In-Laws

r u already married?

3

Re: Relationship with In-Laws

Tricky.

Why do they not want their son to marry you? It depends on the situation. Sometimes parents are unreasonable and sometimes the son and daughter-in-law are.

4

Re: Relationship with In-Laws

here's the background:

10 years ago, the girl's parents didn't want anything to do with the guy or his family, and basically disrespected his parents by refusing to talk to them. 10 years later, the girl's family has come around, yet the guy's family is not ready to accept the situation. The girl/guy are not being unreasonable in any way whatsoever and just want everyone to be happy for them and get along. The wedding will take place before the end of the year.

5

Re: Relationship with In-Laws

i think if they r not attending the marriage its their Son's marriage they r not attending. y u r taking it so personally? hurt tu un k baitay ko hona chahiay n if in future he decides to make-up with His family u should just follow his lead.

isn't there a lot of time b4 marriage? the girl n her family can try their best to patch up with his family.

6

Re: Relationship with In-Laws

Best to try and patch things up imo.. if possible..

7

Re: Relationship with In-Laws

my inlaws were not happy with our marriage as i was my husbands choice and his parents wanted him to marry somone else but he refused and finally they accepted me coz it was their sons khushi and they knew and liked my family too but still they didnt show the extreme happiness in our marriage, even at the beginning my sister in laws used to say my husband k u did one marriage of ur pasand and do another with our pasand and now my inlaws love and respect me more than my husband . so i wud say go for the wedding and just try to fix everything . he is their son and cant stay angry for too long, they have to accept u and they will sometime just show a bit care,love and concern towards them .

8

Re: Relationship with In-Laws

theyll come around inshallah after all it takes time.

9

If they eventually come around to accepting you and start showing you respect and make the effort to bond with you.............you'd only make matters worst by giving them the cold shoulder. In the process, you could hurt your marriage as well.

If the in-laws didn't show up at your wedding............they were showing (through their absence) that they disapprove. BUT MORE THAN THAT.................they ruined their own reputation before the many guests that attended the wedding. Many of the guests must be thinking "What kind of parents would be SOOO PETTY as to not even attend their own son's wedding?" For such small pettiness....they made a fool of themselves. From their absence....they lost more than they gained.

Also, even if the in-laws didn't show up..............you had more than enough people (from among YOUR immediate family and relatives and friends) who love you, who wish you well, and wanted to share in your joy. They make up for your in-laws. Plus, maybe their absence was better in a way. Perhaps if they had been present..........their angry looking face and cold actions would have embarrassed you and the guests.

If you look at the OVERALL situation.......the in-laws embarrassed themselves, strained their relationship with their son, spent so much time being bitter. They lost so much.....(so much more than you)...........that it's better to "bury the hatchet" if they eventually "come around". I know it's easier said than done, but try to be the bigger person.

10

Re: Relationship with In-Laws

Maybe the girl can try talking to the in-laws once. She can tell them that she wants their presence and their blessings at the wedding. Somehow make the in-laws feel important and needed.

11

if her in-laws finally come around and she starts showing them attitude at that time..that can be really dangerous for her future..

12

Well, I'm going to assume that after the wedding, at some point the couple will have kids. I'm also assuming that the girl is in touch with her parents and want them involved in the lives of her future children.

So for the sake of the future kids/grandkids, the guy/girl and the guy's family needs to forgive and move on and focus on the future. No good comes out of holding onto the past and a grudge (especially against such close family members). Life in general in hard enough....no reason to make it harder and involve unnecessary drama (again, especially when there will be children involved).