Are they ex inlaws? Do they still have rights over the girl, does she have rights over them? Do rights finish when the husband dies? Im speaking of a situation when the marriage is quite young and fresh. Say the couple has been married for less than a year. Girl is still very young. What role do her in laws have in her life?
(this thread is a spinoff from another thread about iddat and pregnancy)
Re: Relationship with Dead Spouse's Family
They have a role but not 'rights' over her... She's a living breathing person, not an object..
Re: Relationship with Dead Spouse's Family
That is the question, what is their role? What is expected from society and what is expected of religion? What is expected by you personally if this situation was put in front of you?
Re: Relationship with Dead Spouse's Family
When persons remarry, they enter a complex network of in-laws, former in-laws, former spouses, former spouses’ spouses, etc. A remarried person experiences less control over his or her life and is involved in much more negotiation.
Re: Relationship with Dead Spouse's Family
well my auntie in pakistan lost her hubby (heart attack) when she was 26 :(
she has two kids and still lives with her mother in law, because the MIL was very old and had no one else
to look after her and just carried on being the bahu and no - one else lives in the house apart from them.
Re: Relationship with Dead Spouse's Family
i think they should always b there 4 her but not force her for anything even if there intentions 4 good but still respect her feelings n emotions
one more question wht is better 4 widow 2 stay wth her parents or in laws after huby dies? i think this is the major issue
i know one more lady sister of my bro's frnd her huby was in air force n he died in plane crash she was mother of 2 n 3rd 1 was about 2 cum she had younger bro in law n distant in laws start saying that now she is trying 2 hunt their younger son 2 secure her future just bc of this she shifted 2 her parents y ppl think like this if huby is alive its dever bhabi friendship n if dead thn the girl is hunting the boy y yyyyyyyy really disgusting n annoying 2 c this
Re: Relationship with Dead Spouse's Family
Is it bad that I've actually thought about this?
I think the fact whether there are children or not....makes a huge difference in what should be done...
If a marriage was young, and there were no kids when it happened I can't imagine why anyone would want to still live with their in laws and keep in touch with them...
Legally (and I think Islamically but someone can correct me on this) I don't think in-laws have any right over the wife once the son/husband has passed away....but konwing our culture...of course the in laws can force her into all sorts of stuff.
Re: Relationship with Dead Spouse's Family
^Yeah, technically the inlaws don't have rights over her - but that also applies whilst husband is living..
If there are kids involved and she feels secure I can understand why she might want to, if not isn't the situation going to hold her back in practical terms (ie moving on, remarrying at some point in the future)..
My uncle lost his wife and had a young son and cos he was in the army and his life was a bit hectic he chose to stay with MIL/boy's grandma for a while after her death but then when he met someone else all hell broke loose as her family felt angry and insulted by his decision to marry again.. I imagine it would be 100x worse for a girl..
Re: Relationship with Dead Spouse's Family
Agree with Sara. It depends if children are involved. As granparents/aunts/uncles...they have the "right" to participate constrcutively in the children's lives (keeping in touch, encouraging/guiding them, supporting them, etc)...but they don't have the right to make decisions about the children's future that belong to the remaining parent...especially if that parent is competent and of sound mind. And they also don't have the right to force the woman (as in the case of the thread this one is a spin-off from) to marry someone just so they can keep the children within their family or very close to them. They can always go about this in a way that is more fair/halal (as in not transgressing the woman's basic rights...and choosing not to remarry or to marry someone of her choice are among those rights).
Re: Relationship with Dead Spouse's Family
i know of situation where girl lost her husband within 6 months of marriage. After his death she stayed with in-laws cuz she didnt want to go back home and be burden on her father...etc....and it was fine...UNTIL the previous BIL decided he wants to marry her. She ran back to her parents......but I just heard yesterday that now they are going to get married. There are no kids involved, but I did hear the MIL wants her because she is a very thabiadaar and nice "bahu"....like what???? Oh and the kicker is this guy is married already, and she will be his 2nd wife.....beats the heck out of me why the girl would marry him....esp as she is educateddd and earning.....so no sense....
Re: Relationship with Dead Spouse's Family
^That's crazy..