ADVICE NEEDED! First let me tell u a bit about myself. Im a white/british born christian guy who has previously in a 18 year relationship with 3 children. About a 1 1/2 years ago i got a new job and met this girl. Shes a british born pakistani muslim. We developed a very tight friendship and were either with eah other or on the phone 24/7. About 6 months ago we decided to date each other. I must add that from the start she was very clear about her beliefs and problems that may arise with her family. She says she loves me and sees me when can but when we cant see each other due to her not being allowed out and doing stuff 4 her parents she becomes very distant and abusive to me on the phone. We have spoken about religion on numerous occasions and shes always said she dont want me to convert 4 her and that i must do it for myself. I have not had a very religious upbringing so am quite open minded. Anyway i brought myself the Quran and have been reading it for a while now and it has really opened my eyes. I told her that 4 once i have found something that i believe in but she told me i have no right to covert and that islam is not 4 me! I have been deeply hurt by her comments but love her no less. She also said that i was wasting my time because she will never marry me. Can someone please help shed some light on what might be going through her head because i am at a complete loss and dont want to lose her. Thank u.
Re: Relationship/Religion advice
If you found guidance in Quran and really want to convert then go ahead.
you could find better muslim girl.
Re: Relationship/Religion advice
umm......she knows that her family will not allow it......thats why she is not committing herself fully.......so she is essentially giving you the signal that you need to move on...
Re: Relationship/Religion advice
This is what i thought she was doing so then why does she still see me and text me. When we are together its fantastic and everything is fine. Its only when we are apart and shes at home. Why?
Re: Relationship/Religion advice
I told her that 4 once i have found something that i believe in but she told me i have no right to covert and that islam is not 4 me! I have been deeply hurt by her comments but love her no less. She also said that i was wasting my time because she will never marry me. Can someone please help shed some light on what might be going through her head because i am at a complete loss and dont want to lose her. Thank u.
There are two issues here.
1. You found Islam and relate to it and want to convert. Very good , take a plunge , practice it and find out for yourself if you still like it and stay the right course. Islam is a life changer once you are in it you might also find out that this girl is not for you either.
2. I have quoted your own post which shows that handwriting is on the wall she likes you as a friend but she does not want to spend her whole life with you.
Sometime we like someone but not to the point that we want to spend rest of our lives with them , seems like this is the case with her.
Islam or her parents have nothing to do with her decision in my opinion.
Re: Relationship/Religion advice
If you are drawn towards the religion then convert, as long as you're sure that you're not doing it because you think it will help you develop your relationship with her.
Maybe she doesn't think her parents will accept you regardless of whether you convert, maybe she's getting cold feet? Either way what she thinks should have nothing to do with your faith, it's personal so if you are converting research beforehand and do it for the right reasons.
Re: Relationship/Religion advice
So you're a white guy and you're CHOOSING to be with a desi girl? You got acne or something homez. LOL.
Us Desi guys have other issues so we have to stick with desi kuris but u got no such baggage.
Re: Relationship/Religion advice
^ 
Re: Relationship/Religion advice
So, are you still in a relationship with the mother of your children? If so...that's something you'll need to sort out. She does not have the right to tell you or any person for that matter that they can't conver to Islam. Also, she can't determine whether or not a religion is or isn't for a person. It's possible that might have said that because she thinks that it may be hard for you to adjust to the various rules of Islam...especially if you've led a more liberal lifestyle. She could have said that you're "wasting your time" becasue she was never looking for anything serious (as in a committment)....and maybe since she knows that her parents won't be accepting of this relationship...she just doesn't want to go through the hassle...perhpas there's someone else. You can attempt talking to her again.....but if you get the same response....it's better to move on. Do you really want to be with someone who does not reciprocate the interest? Allowing her into your life ...especially when she doesn't want anything serious and when you two are not on the same page...and having an on and off relationship will only make things worse.