I think I’m sort of suffering from some form of relationship-phobia. It’s been quite a while since I’ve been able to find anyone attractive, and you know the butterflies that people talk about? Never felt it. No, wait, yeah I did, once when I was 13. I don’t think that counts though. I can’t seem to find anyone attractive, and everyone pisses me off. The nicer a guy is with me, the more irritating I find him and the more I push him away. When they don’t give up, I start acting really rude and try to piss 'em off a little. I feel like marriage is a duty, not something to look forward to or get excited about. No, wait, yeah I find it a little exciting. But not because of the marriage itself, just for the stuff I know I’ll get. Oh, and yes, babies. I want babies. I don’t quite want the husband though. I just think it’d be fun to raise little people and watch them grow and stuff. When I hear my friends talk about relationships, I feel like breaking stuff. When they talk about guys and how cute they are, I feel like ripping my hair out and eating it so I can choke to death. The idea of kissing, hugging, and any form of physical closeness makes me sick. There’s gotta be something wrong with me. So, I turn to you intelligent guppies for some sort of enlightenment and a little laughter. Pick on me a little, whatever. Be pretty and witty and gay (just the way I like 'em).
Maybe u should start by getting a kitten or a puppy, see if that works out.. and if the kitten or the puppy isnt dead, or hasnt run away, u might not be so relationship phobic. Or maybe men arent ur cup of tea.. :) in that case How U DOIN??
I have the same feeling regarding relationships, apart from the kissing, and hugging thing that excites me even in my imagination 
How s*** :love:
sadi sobi is single and looking.
Maybe the people around you, or that you have been around since you were 13, (or soon thereaftr) are not "your type" so to speak.
No one told me that she is a Moderator. 
"Be pretty and witty and gay (just the way I like 'em)."
Are you really coming out of the closet or just making a statement in the passing?
I agree with you when it comes to the other stuff that you wrote. 95% of the women I meet are complete air heads, into themselves, and have no clue what they are talking about. I don't know what you look for a man, whether he has to be good looking as well as smart or just smart or just good looking or have money or any combination of that, but I prefer brains over beauty. I don't want a rich, modern, sophisticated woman, just a simple and nerdy one like me.
zulaykha,
The thought of marriage doesnt thrill me either. Most girls I know were married or engaged by 22, and the ones who werent, were very much looking forward to getting married and having a relationship. I was not. Peculiarly enough, I have found that men sympathize with my view moreso than women do. Many of my girlfriends have suggested that I have unnatural thinking (though not all of them do), but many men say they understand how I feel.
Perhaps you are afraid of relationships, you best would know that. One important thing to do is check your surroundings, what do you see around you? Do you see happily married people or are most of your married friends seemingly unhappy? Your environment will influence your thoughts to some degree. Look at your parents relationship, see how you feel about that, do some of your views come from seeing your parents in a certain way? All of these are things to consider. Then ask yourself why you have the requirements you do, in choosing your partner. Write down your thoughts and read them later. Ask your parents what they think, and why they think you feel the way you do. Parents sometimes give you an insight into yourself that you never knew.
Devilicious, kya matlab hai, "how you doin"? hoonh
Your behaviour is perfectly normal. You are going through what I call Life-is-a-Bitch syndrome in my upcoming book called I-aint-no-idiot.
If you haven’t been physical with anyone before nor you have had any passionate feelings for any guy then the chances of your guards being high for the two emotions is natural.
As you grow, you get to know yourself better and human characteristics that attract you become more defined…unfortunately the butterflies, even though a great feeling, become a foreign emotion.
I would suggest that you make a conscious effort and give other people a chance to get close to you…..two glass of high sugar roohafza is also recommended, but only for extreme cases (like Munni).
zulaykha, I agree with what Munni said: maybe you have seen people with unhappy relationships around you. And that makes you think that a husband would be a nuisance. I am not trying to judge your life or anything but thats how I feel sometimes myself :D But, I also try looking at couples I know are extremely happy and in love, even after so many years of marriage. Maybe that could help you too :)
Re: Relationship-phobia, maybe?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by zulaykha: *
I feel like marriage is a duty, not something to look forward to or get excited about.
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For some reason Im begining to think the same.
Yep i agree wid muni ...its maybe becoz of all those broken families or realtionships u have seen around u are afraid .i also think so that life is much easier if you are alone .. thats maybe becoz we are afraid of responsbilities :o....
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sandleen: *
Yep i agree wid muni ...its maybe becoz of all those broken families or realtionships u have seen around u are afraid .i also think so that life is much easier if you are alone .. thats maybe becoz we are afraid of responsbilities :o....
[/QUOTE]
So sad but true!
I was just about to read all these replies, and then ... I ran out of time. My brother's coming online. sigh Tomorrow then. :-/
Save for some views on your original post on this thread, Zulaykha, I agree with you for the most part as I feel the same way...no one is ever good enough even though I have had creme de la creme of rishtas but in my eyes the guys are never good enough or they're so much into me that I get completely turned off and push them away.
As someone said above, as we get older our standards/requirements in what we seek in a spouse do become much more defined (which isn't a bad thing at all). Unlike you, I have no reservations of the physical kind because I am sure that whoever I will choose to spend my life with will be someone I would also want to enjoy my sexuality with. I want babies (badly) and so nowadays I'm definitely trying to get over my little phobias as I don't want to lose out on any more good rishtas.
Be patient and God will point you in the right direction re: your special man, missy ;)
You are not the only one going through this. I do not want to settle down for the sake of it or thinking of it as an obligation and making someone else’s life miserable. So its a big No,No for the time being. Who knows whether I will remain single for the rest of my life, since the very thought of settling down makes me nauseatic. I used to be normal like others 
and there was a time I really wanted to tie the knot and be done with it but when people have undue expectations, be it your family you love or the person you care for most ; you end up becoming an android.
If you make one person happy, the other person will call you incompassionate, insincere and user and make your life miserable and if you make the latter happy, the former will relegate you to the level of characterless *****.
There is a progression for most girls:
(yes I know it is a gross generalization but anyway...)
1- feeling good with yourself
2- feeling good with other people in general
3- feeling good with one person specifically and wanting to spend time with them
4- physical relationship
Roadblocks at any stage or trying to jump a step can cause problems!
I think that a good physical relationship can only come when the personal, emotional and mental relationship is mature and balanced. When you feel secure and not only sexually desired. When you know there is respect and consideration. When it is a two way thing, giving and taking.
Representative of my views and possibly those of women in my age group:
I want to add that as we mature from our early 20s to late 20s and into early 30s, our overall views on marriage change drastically. I think girls in their late 20s-early 30s refuse to settle for just anyone. They seek compatibility in pretty much every aspect of a person as opposed to wanting simply a ‘seedha saadha nice homebody boy’ that mommy would love to have as a son-in-law, to make a home with. A lot more becomes involved in terms of thinking and mentality when a girl is looking for a spouse at this age. Girls in this age group tend to realize that marriage, if/when they’re going to get married at this age, will be to a very special person who they’re sure they’re going to want to be with for an entire lifetime (and expect reciprocity). After all, marriage IS a lifetime commitment regardless of what may happen/may not happen down the road (ex. events that are not in our control).
Given these conditions, contradictory to what people may think (ex. that a girl of that age will only find a guy who is divorced, etc.) nowadays girls do find suitable husbands with all the right specifications/requirements/criteria whether the men are single, divorced, Pakistani, non-Pakistani, and whatnot. Therefore, I am at least one who doesn’t buy into the mentality of getting hitched to the first guy whose rishta comes knocking on your door (or even the second guy, or the third,…)
Tell me about relationship phobia...
No man can make me commit...and it's not about wanting to see other guys it really isnt... it's just that I feel being with someone, as their girlfriend will take away the amount of freedom I have now.
I hate the idea of anyone trying to influence decisions in my life. You know the idea of having to spend a certain amount of time and effort with that someone. At the same time I wanted to be loved and cherished.
Let's just say I have an impossible combination of expectations and wants.
By the way... nice men are annoying... I hate it when men are all puppyish and will do anything you order them to do.
I like a man who wouldn't be afraid of me, who would be able to shout his lungs out at me and know that I would turn around and do the same or probably just smack him in the face. lol....
Challenging relationships.... challenging men are so much fun... maybe it's the wrongs guys.. you're looking at or getting involved with?
The physical bit... hmm.... hope someone doesn't censor me here.... dear it will come naturally... I had the same sentiment when it came to being physical.... but when you click with the right guy... honey there ain't no looking back! And trust me.... just the kissing and hugging...it's gOOood... haha....
I miss it like hell!! 2 years since i've even hugged anyone intimately.... anyway.... I met a guy... the man of my dreams... love of my life.... and i made him run for his life...
At least your relationship phobia hasn't ruined anything good yet...!! understand it now.. your phobia...it's best before it does damage. Trust me... I regret the damage it's done in the past year...
I was in love with a gora and he loved me.... but I just pushed him away till he had enough... and now here I am... regretting my phobia..