So let us share some stories of rejections. I will go first. The last time I visited Pak was around 23yrs ago. During that visit my uncle thought I should find a bride there and arranged for me to see some girls, this one girl was quite beautiful and lived in N Nazimabad, she was a doctor. We were staying in Defence Society in there was sectarian violence there. It was like a city on fire. We literally risked our lives to make that perilous journey from one end of the dangerous city to the other.
The dad wanted to give me the third degree before he would allow his girl out. I feel that when they see a very well built man there they automatically assume that person to be some sort of Ghunda etc. One of the question he asked me was, why I was interested in marrying a Doctor, upon which I told him that I wasn't looking to marry a doctor, he looked at me with astonishment and said, what do you mean? I told him that I was looking to marry a girl and not a profession. He wanted me to lick his feet, which I refused and then he told me how a foreign Rishta had deceived them and they are wary of foreigners.
In the end the meanie did not let me see the girl and we did this dangerous journey for nothing. How do people make judgement of peoples personality and character with limited or no information.
Hahahaha. once my father didn’t let me meet the guy and his family. he quickly came in the kitchen and told me that they are not the kind of people we are . so not to go in the drawing room. but that happened once only.
I don?t think I?ve ever been that up fromt about my feelings so no chance of rejection. But I?ve only been in love once. It ended not because of his rejection but because it was time for me to leave and he had no reason to make me stay. Life became a spaghetti sauce..
now its calm and I feel I?ll let my fate take me forward. Seems like there is no mojo left. I am very grateful to Allah and I feel he?s given me this calm and I feel I didn?t deserve but he is indeed most knowing and gives without any expectations.
Thanks Bobby1. Thats a great way to look at things. I was very make happen kind of person, otherwise I wouldn?t have expressed my love to the love of my life (hate saying ex) but with time you change and I have changed. I have learnt that going after things doesn?t necessarily mean you will get it or its even meant for you.. like IK says, koshish hum kerte hain kamiyabi woh deta hai..
O Bobz darling you were outright rejected by a honorable Pakistani. You no king in no castle. Phew you got mun chupane ki jaga in Kanda. Warna tuadda kya hota kaalia?
Don?t go after the words, piety is basically fidelity to natural obligations eg towards parents, towards faith, religion etc. What I meant was primarily for religion, as that is the commonest use of the word.
Pious people can marry four women who can be as young as 12/13, possess sex slaves captured in war and disallow their wives to leave home or drive and may kill gays, lesbians, and apostates. To some that is piety, to most it is savagery.
look at all the pious people committing genocide in Yemen, slaughtering women and children, who on earth can be more pious than the guardian of masjid haram and yet he is the perpetrator of worst genocide of our time.
It is not about women, it is abuse and control by elders. Why would anyone dictate to an educated smart successful young man who to spend his life with? Most heinous abuse in India and Pak is committed by mothers in law so unconditional respect of parents is not warranted. i did not appreciate the abuse that my whole family tried to commit on wife and ostracized us and did badnaami in the community and got us excommunicated all the while taking financial help from me and us caring for her. They tried to get us divorced even after we had children.
I don’t control my children, they will have our blessings in choosing their life partners.
