So I met this girl and started talking. Felt a connection so she and I decided to meet. She’s religious so she said she needed her mom’s permission to meet me. She wanted our moms to speak on the phone. After our moms spoke she texts me and tells me that she’s “Eh le hadith” and that my mother has said that she does “Khatam Durood” and basically somehow that’s unislamic and she doesn’t want to continue anything further. Now all I can say is “WHAT?” WHAAAT? You’re going to let go of a potential rishta because my mom does “Khatams”? WHAT are people really that narrow minded? We ought to eradicate wahabism for good.
Re: Rejected for what?
That’s religion for you.
Re: Rejected for what?
lol
Re: Rejected for what?
Basically my SO and their family does khatam and duroods etc. We don't believe in such stuff. But both of us didn't give a dash what our families and mums do. If you like or love someone, forget it. Find a middle ground when it comes to beliefs etc and stick to it, if you wanna make something work.
Re: Rejected for what?
thats absurd i would say let her go, let her be with someone doesnt do khatam laikin uska dimakh bilkul khatam hai phir pata chalay ga usko
Re: Rejected for what?
thats absurd i would say let her go, let her be with someone doesnt do khatam laikin uska dimakh bilkul khatam hai phir pata chalay ga usko
The thing is that she spoke to me for a good 3 weeks both on phone and texting. Now when it came time for us to meet she seemed super excited. She made it seem that she really want this to work out. And since I'm also looking for a potential rishta I actually put time and effort in to making this work. I was honest with her from the start, while she hid stuff from me. She even said that she knows what her parents are looking for and when I asked her if I match that she said I did. So I then don't understand how you can cold turkey reject someone out right based on what their mom said. How can someone be this daft? It's not like she's some jahil gawaar, she's doing her master's in psychology, she should get her brain checked out. People can be so Jahil yet be so educated. This world is surely going to hell.
Re: Rejected for what?
Just be thankful.
And next time get some clarification at the start by asking. It will save you a lot of headache, trust me.
Re: Rejected for what?
Yeah that's a really lame reason to let someone go but aren't you glad you had only wasted 3 weeks on this person? There are people who waste years before figuring out they have no compatibility or were never right for each other to begin with.
Re: Rejected for what?
Yeah that's a really lame reason to let someone go but aren't you glad you had only wasted 3 weeks on this person? There are people who waste years before figuring out they have no compatibility or were never right for each other to begin with.
Lame would be an understatement. By wearing the hijaab no one is automatically a perfect pious muslim. By changing out appearance we try to trick others by thinking we're somehow better than them while the blackness of the heart is ever all present. What good are your prayers and your fasts if you haven't corrected your mentality or haven't lived according to our prophet whom married both jew and a christian woman. Yet here you refuse to marry someone because they do "Khatams" what kind of utter ridiculous and most outrageous illiteracy is this?! I am so angry!
Re: Rejected for what?
So I met this girl and started talking. Felt a connection so she and I decided to meet. She's religious so she said she needed her mom's permission to meet me. She wanted our moms to speak on the phone. After our moms spoke she texts me and tells me that she's "Eh le hadith" and that my mother has said that she does "Khatam Durood" and basically somehow that's unislamic and she doesn't want to continue anything further. Now all I can say is "WHAT?" WHAAAT? You're going to let go of a potential rishta because my mom does "Khatams"? WHAT are people really that narrow minded? We ought to eradicate wahabism for good.
Just get out there have fun forget this girl immediately, she is not worth a penny. You should thank god you were saved before hand.
Re: Rejected for what?
You two are better without each other. Apparently, she doesn't want to ruin her and her kid's aqeedah, wants someone who is smart and has common sense and you don't have the sense to maybe look up if Khatams, etc. are really islamic or not, you know if Quran and Sunnah really teach this stuff or not? Usually where you see khatams, you also find grave worship, calling on dead for help, peeri fakeeri, darbaari nonsense, etc, etc. **** goes on... Wouldn't hurt and not that hard to get authentic information these days.
Re: Rejected for what?
You two are better without each other. Apparently, she doesn't want to ruin her and her kid's aqeedah, wants someone who is smart and has common sense and you don't have the sense to maybe look up if Khatams, etc. are really islamic or not, you know if Quran and Sunnah really teach this stuff or not? Usually where you see khatams, you also find grave worship, calling on dead for help, peeri fakeeri, darbaari nonsense, etc, etc. **** goes on... Wouldn't hurt and not that hard to get authentic information these days.
This is a great example of "Lakeer ka Fakir". Aqeedah doesn't get ruin if you give thanks to Allah which the Khatam is a form of. When the sons of Adam, Cain and Able gave sacrifice to Allah that was a form of Khatam. When Allah asked Ibrahim to sacrifice his son that was a form of Khatam as well.
khatam here means when someone passes away ppl gather to make dua/read quran/offer food to benefit the deceased
All this is done for the sake of E-saal-e-sawaab- i.e. offering reward/duas to the deceased....
there is plenty of evidence which proves the deceased do benefit from dua/good deeds from off spring etc
[QUOTE]
Any good deed that a Muslim starts during his lifetime, and that is of renewed benefit and ongoing use for the Muslims, will continue to benefit him and augment his record of good deeds, even after his departure - as long as its benefits continue to reach others. Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala says - "We record that (deeds) which they have put forward and their traces (that which they have left behind)." (Yaa-Seen 36:12)
Abu Hurayrah rahimahullaah reported that Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said:** "When a human being dies, all of his deeds are terminated except for three types: an ongoing sadaqah, a knowledge (of Islaam) from which others benefit, and a righteous child who makes du'aa for him." (Muslim and others).
**
Abu Qataadah rahimahullaah reported that Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "The best that a man can leave behind after his death are three things: a righteous child who makes du'aa for him, an ongoing sadaqah whose rewards continue to reach him, and a knowledge that continues to be implemented after him." (Ibn Maajah, and others).
*Abu Qataadah rahimahullaah reported that Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: *"Among the good deeds that continue to benefit a believer after death are: a knowledge that he taught and disseminated, a righteous child who lived after him, a Qur'aan book that he left as inheritance a masjid that he built, a house that he built for the two wayfarers, a stream that he ran, or a charity that he gave from his wealth during his healthy lifetime so that it would reach him (in rewards) after death." (Ibn Maajah and others).Commenting on this, al-Mundhiri rahimahullaah said: "Some scholars say that the deeds of a human being end with his death. However, since he had caused these things (which are mentioned in the above hadiths), such as the earning of a child, disseminating the knowledge among those who take it from him, compiling a book that remains after him, or establishing a sadaqah, the rewards of these things continue to reach him as long as they continue to exist." ('Awn al-Ma'bud, 8:86)
The reason that one continues to receive rewards for these deeds even though they are done by other people, is that he had initiated them during his life or contributed to them to a certain degree, whether little or large. Since Allaah does not neglect an atom's weight of deeds, He records these contribution for a person even after his death. Abu al-Wafaa' bin 'Aqeel said: "The best explanation for this in my view is that a human being, by his efforts and good conduct, had earned friends, produced children, married spouses, done good, and was amiable to the people. Because of this, they invoke mercy for him and do good on his behalf. All of this is then a result of his own earning." (ar-Ruh, Ibn al-Qayyim, p.171). And Rasheed Ridaa rahimahullaah said, "Among the deeds that benefit a person, even though they are done by others, are those that count like his own because he caused them, such as his children's supplication for him, or their performing hajj, giving sadaqah, or fasting on his behalf - all of which having been established with authentic hadiths." (Tafseer al-Manaar 8:247)
**
The above hadiths indicate that a righteous child benefits his deceased parents with du'aa. It is further demonstrated here that he can benefit them by spending sadaqah, as well as doing other charitable deeds, on their behalf. **'Aishah rahimahullaah reported that Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said, "Indeed the best that one eats is that which he earns. And his child is from his earning." (Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and others. Verified sahih by al-Albaanee in Akhaam ul-Jana'iz, 217).
The reason for this is that a parent benefits himself by rearing his child according to the teachings of Islaam, and exerting a consistent effort to raise him as a righteous person. As the child grows into adulthood and does righteous deeds, his parents deserve a merit in that they helped him accomplish that and his good actions are therefore, at least in part, from his parents' earning. Sadaqah from a child A'ishah rahimahullaah reported that a man asked Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, "My mother had a sudden death, and did not have chance to bequeath anything. Had she been able to do, I think that she would have given sadaqah. Would she or I get any rewards if I give sadaqah on her behalf?" He sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam replied, "Yes! So give sadaqah on her behalf" (al-Bukhaaree, Muslim and others).
Ibn 'Abbas rahimahullaah reported that Sa'd bin 'Ubadah's mother died during his absence on a trip. He came to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and asked him, "O Allaah's Messenger! My mother has passed away during my absence. Would it be of benefit to her if I give sadaqah on her behalf?" He sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam replied, "Yes!" He said, "Be my witness then that I give my fruitful garden as sadaqah on her behalf."
**
Abu Hurayrah rahimahullaah reported that a man asked the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam *"My father has died, leaving behind a wealth; but he did not bequeath anything. Would it help him if I give sadaqah on his behalf?" He sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam replied, "Yes!". (Muslim, Ahmad and others).
*
Abdullaah ibn 'Amr rahimahullaah reported that al-'Aas bin Waa'il as-Sahmee (his grandfather) bequeathed that one hundred slaves be freed on his behalf. His son, Hishaam freed fifty; and 'Amr wanted to free the other fifty, but decided to ask Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam first. He came to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and said, **"O Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam! My father has bequeathed that one hundred slaves be freed on his behalf. Hishaam has freed fifty and fifty are left. Should I free them for him?" He replied: "Had he been a Muslim, your freeing slaves, giving sadaqah, or performing Hajj on his behalf would all have reached (in rewards) and benefited him." (Ahmad, Abu Dawud, al-Bayhaqi)
Commenting on these hadiths, ash-Shawkaani said: "This indicates that the rewards for a sadaqah from a child reach the parents after their death - even if they had not bequeathed it. These hadiths restrict the general meaning of Allaah's subhanahu wa ta'ala saying: "And that the human being can have nothing but what he has earned." (53:39)
[/QUOTE]
Re: Rejected for what?
Ignoring the mindless insult and personal attack.
What is the source of what you posted? Where did you copy paste it from? “khatams” as a ritual, done today in subcontinent, let us know if there is any evidence of that from Quran and Sunnah otherwise its is just hogwash. Let us not confuse “khatams” and “11ths” and “40ths” (chaleeeeswaaan) with “dua” lol
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbAtgAZfvUY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIonRzhm310](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbAtgAZfvUY)
If you still want to do it, sure, do it in your home and leave others alone, don’t force others to do it when they come to pay respect to your dead relative.
Re: Rejected for what?
You know the mullah apologists hide behind the Quran and Sunnah when it comes to justifying something which they know for a fact isn’t forbidden or allowed. Since they know that it’s a blank slate they have to justify it with the old “Where is it written in the Quran”. This gives way to arguments my friend as there aren’t a lot of things written verbatim in the Quran or the hadith. There are scholars that fight tooth and nail over which hadith is strong or weak. So which one is it to believe? Hadith written after 200 years of the prophet’s death or the infallible Quran?
The Khatam is a form of a dua, do you think people gather at a Khatam and worship Baal? Or do you think they invoke the spirits of the vikings? Have you ever been to a Khatam? It’s a dua! You sit down and recite the chapters of the Quran and in the end make a Dua for the departed. Which clearly stated in the quote above from the Hadith Sahi bukhari. The Wahabis would have us believe that if someone is dead then burry them in the ground and then its dust off the hands back to making sure of the beard is in proper length and pull your shalwar over your ankles.
There are numerous school of thought both Shia and Sunni and Wahabi that will argue for over and over quote after quote to justify their view points. Are we suppose to believe each and everyone or are we to make a conscious decision based on what’s right? Since the prophet isn’t here nor we can communicate with Allah directly. Are we to just out right disregard anything that isn’t written in the Quran? Well then there is no mention of motorcycles in the Quran, nor of how the oceans function so then do we out right reject them? That is the meaning of “Lakeer Ka Fakeer” meaning going to about the same beaten path never opening the mind to someone else’s perspective. That is the reason why everytime there is a Shia Jaloos and if someone makes a religious claim people die. Similarly we have firkay baazi where people have created their own justifications and renunciations.
The prophet married a Catholic christian woman, let that sink in your head for a bit and let that sink in the Mullahs’ head as well. He never had her converted he never asked her to worship the way muslims do and he never ever forced her to convert. Does that make sense? Here is our prophet marrying a CATHOLIC woman and here are people refusing to marry someone because they’re muslims but they do khatams. How illogical is that? You think Khatams are bad? Have you ever seen some of the practices of Catholics? These arent regular christians btw, not like your Lutherans or protestants these are Catholics. Yet our prophet married one of them.
Wait wait, that’s not all. He also married a Jewish woman (Mind blow) mullahs at this point are running for the hills. Yeah you guessed it, he didn’t ask her to change her religion either. Maybe you should read about the life of our prophet and see what sort of a revolutionary man he was and not at all what the Mullahs portray him to be.
Oh did you know? His own sister in law was a catholic christian and that one he first had the revelation from Allah in which the angel Gabriel gave him the word of Allah to recite. You know who he asked first? His CATHOLIC sister in law. Man the mullahs must be at this point in a state of trance.
I apologize if I came off as too strong. But these so called religious “Muslims” drive me up the wall with their self professed ideologies of whats right and whats wrong according to themselves.
Re: Rejected for what?
It is okay to reject people for not being socially or educationally compatible but not okay to do it when it comes to religious compatibility ?
Religion is a personal matter but when it comes to marriage,it becomes a family matter. Being on the same page in religious matters is important for the kids upbringing. It's not about khatams being wrong or right, but about being on the same page for the kids upbringing.
Re: Rejected for what?
It is okay to reject people for not being socially or educationally compatible but not okay to do it when it comes to religious compatibility ? Religion is a personal matter but when it comes to marriage,it becomes a family matter. Being on the same page in religious matters is important for the kids upbringing. It's not about khatams being wrong or right, but about being on the same page for the kids upbringing.
Yeah it would make sense if your SO is worshipping Dagon the pagan god of Norse people. But Khatams... we'll to each his own. I'm done here. Good luck OP.
Re: Rejected for what?
Yeah it would make sense if your SO is worshipping Dagon the pagan god of Norse people. But Khatams... we'll to each his own. I'm done here. Good luck OP.
Exactly! To each his own.
Re: Rejected for what?
Exactly! To each his own.
Yeah we can say to each his own. When is stupid too stupid?
Re: Rejected for what?
What is wrong with what happened? Religion and beliefs are a major part of our lives. She felt strongly about something, and decided that it wasnt worth pursuing. Good for her.
Move on and find a khatam girl.....you know, the kind to which guys say.....khatam hai yaar!
Re: Rejected for what?
What is wrong with what happened? Religion and beliefs are a major part of our lives. She felt strongly about something, and decided that it wasnt worth pursuing. Good for her.
Move on and find a khatam girl.....you know, the kind to which guys say.....khatam hai yaar!
Haha this should be the post of the decade.