Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
Couldn’t have said it better myself. This is why I stay away from such threads. I feel my IQ lowering as I read through them. People thinking they are better than others because of the family, ethnicity, race, religion they are born into, what’s new? Judging others for things they cannot change. Annoying.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
You sound desperate.
I believe they might have some more reasons as well but they just mentioned Punjabi. It’s exactly when you don’t feel like talking to someone anymore and they’re standing right in front of you and then you give them a lame excuse to leave.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
Its not always the case of looking down at the other cast. Sometimes people know that their son/daughter/families will not be able to adjust into another culture (for whatever reason such as up bringing, nature etc) and there might be issues/problems. You cant blame them in such case.
Personally, I am strongly against it but I understand it if someone has reasonable explanation.
and then there are people who think that their cast/ethnicity is better than some other ethnicity. You should leave them alone (and thank God that you were saved). If 30..40..50 years of life has not fixed their mindset/stupidity then God know what will…
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
Sorry you had to deal with this but everyone does have a right to their preference.
This same thing happened to my mom too, so my mom was trying to fix this girl a punjabi speaking family and prospect’s mother said no because she only wants urdu speaking DIL so my mom offered her numbers of some urdu speaking family. Anyways this woman then asks my mom if she has any proposals for her daughters and punjabi guys are okay too. wth? why double standard.
I can never figure this out, is it because she had so many daughters and she just wanted them to get married. why is okay for punjabi son in law but not punjabi DIL?
Most people don’t do this, I have only heard about this couple of times. But again people do have the right to their preference and we shouldn’t judge them.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
Just like you seem to be biased based on religion, his family seems to be biased based on language/culture. A non-muslim that you reject based on his religion will have the same feelings that you expressed in the quoted second paragraph above.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
One family has told you they dont wish to marry into a Punjabi family does not mean all the Urdu speaking think like that. All my maternal family (Punjabis) based in Karachi and other parts of Sindh had inter-faith/inter-race marriages. My mother was the only one in sisters who got married into a Punjabi family based in Lahore. Similarly, one of my siblings and few cousins are married into Urdu speaking families and neither of them have any hang ups. There are plenty Urdu speaking families and other races/religions who are not bigoted like that one you met so there’s nothing to be so upset about it and generalize.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
OP.
Should always listen to the elders. You should follow another guppan’s example whose nani/dadi told not to marry punjabies and they follow their dadi/nani advice. You consult your nani/dadi and you should follow their advice of not marrying into urdu/karachi people too. Keeps things easy.
Agree with ya OP!..what can i say..some people are backward. I even heard ppl saying, “punjabi this or punjabi that”…it is stupid. We are Muslims first and then Pakistanis. And as a Pakistani..i don’t care what language, or culture certain someone belongs to..as long as the person of interest (within bounds of our religion) is good enough for you..then nothing should matter.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
To each his own. Everyone has a preference even if seems wrong.
Duffa kar onu or ghusa na kar. Tu bach gayein ha.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
You were rejected for being a Punjabi, while you might have been rejecting guys due to their lack of education, geographic location, or not being Pakistani, or where he lives, or how gora/sawla he is, anything can be put on that list. so rejection goes both ways all the time.
It hit you closer to home, cuz Punjabi or not is not a main concern to you. but you didn’t meet obviously a very important qualification of his, so, just let it go, move on and wait for someone who will accept you and vice versa
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
My culture is better than yours. This mentality is main reason of rejecting proposals.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
It is extremely backwards thinking. Pakistan won’t go anywhere until it’s people think of each other on equal grounds and marry into each other’s families.
I just find it funny these families think they are muslim. Don’t know the first thing about Islam.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
Thank your lucky stars, did you really want to listen to Altaf Hussain bhashans each time you visited in laws?
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
I wouldn’t let it bother me if I were you. That is just their preference and I think it could be due to cultural differences other than just the language, type of food and their traditions and style of “uhtna behtna” is probably different from your family. So count yourself lucky that you found out about their mentality before it was too late.
I friend of mine married into a different caste and their whole lifestyle was different to hers and she still finds it hard nearly 20 years later.
It just depends on how much both sides are willing to compromise and overlook cultural differences, for some it doesn’t matter for others it’s huge issue, and ou can’t change that in a person.
So move on and don’t let it get to to you, there could have been worse things that you could have been rejected for, had they came and met you.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
did you tell them your family don’t swear while speaking punjabi? some punjabis swear a lot and thats one reason some non-punjabis are scared of them.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
Swearing till better than ear piercing kachar kachar kachar.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
Move on 
he didn’t deserve you.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
yup…my sentiments exactly…
:k:
I never thought about these things until after I got married but it does help to have similar background and language. But then again…agar gora/gori hoti to log jaan laga ke mehnat karte hein to make it work. 
I don’t know…personally I find this no different from that obnoxious thread about Hyderabadis being bad at mehman nawazi.
The other thing is…you’re in the rishta game girl…understand that people WILL reject you for whatever they feel is important. Be ready and be tough about it. It could be your weight, looks, height, education, caste, background and yes…even your language/ethnic background. They owe you no explanations and vice versa. It sounds harsh but its true…everyone has a right to find that person who they believe is their match…including you. Its not a bad thing at all…I’d rather be rejected than dragged into a family that cannot appreciate what I have to offer.
Is it bad that they rejected you based on your ethnicity? Meh…sure…but I doubt you would have accepted him if he didn’t have proper educational background or if he was white or if he was black or if he was not good looking enough. These traits also be considered superficial by many people who do or do not have them. Its not that big of a deal…brush it off and move on.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
This is extremely common.
Punjabis prefer punjabis, urdu-speakers prefer urdu-speaking, pathans into pathans, etc…
When I was searching rishtas for myself we only got response from punjabis. The urdu-speakers/karachi-wali families did not bother to respond once they found we’re from punjab.
Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”
Having a bahu that’s not urdu-speaking may do some good to families like that. They need to open their mind and think about Pakistan as one community rather than broken into multiple communities each trying to fight for control over Karachi.
Karachi has been ruined because of all this fighting. It would have been a much stronger economic center and by now it should have been looking better than Dubai.
But if every week there are tired burning, roads blocked, not allowing ambulances even to pass through, and people are getting mugged and homes are getting robbed to fund these kinds of parties, then no city can move forward. Every home in defence it is said has been robbed by MQM and the home owners know it.