Rejected for being a "punjabi"

[Reha]

Re: Rejected for being a “punjabi”

@Reha

Allah asks a lot of us but we don’t really focus on those things in reality do we? Attraction may be minor or major - its STILL a factor. It STILL plays a part. Some will look beyond physical features and find a person’s inner beauty. Kudos to them. But some find chemistry and attraction tied to background. This does not mean Punjabis and Urdu speakers cannot get along…it means some will choose not to marry into the other and that’s that. Its pure comfort. Is it racist? About as racist as rejecting someone for being bald or having 6 toes or having an annoying mole on their nose.

And here’s something to consider: I have been through this damn rishta scene for years…since age 15. I hated it when my mom had people come over, eat our food, waste our entire evening and make me run around with a chai trolley ONLY to find out at the end that this was not going to work for whatever reason. So, the fact that they didn’t come over is a good thing. They felt bad about wasting the OP’s time when it was not going to work from their end regardless.

@PyariCgudia

So you’re telling me that an Urdu speaking person from Karachi will genetically find all Punjabis unattractive??

What does ethnicity have to do with attraction?

Can you please read the bold part above and tell me how it translates to what you wrote back?

Ethnicity does not HAVE to do with attraction but it definitely can. Some men like their wives in kameez shalwar and churiyan and mehndi…these are specific to our ethnicity aren’t they? Some men enjoy speaking in Urdu and being able to share a laugh with someone who gets it. What is exactly wrong with that?

And who says not marrying into a certain culture or ethnicity means you’re racist? I doubt the OP’s rishta walay were gung ho against having anything to do with Punjabis. When it comes to marriage though - which is a lifelong and important decision - we are very careful and do our best to minimize risk. I’d do the same if I was in his shoes. If I know I am not interested in a family for whatever reason…I will NOT waste their time and energy and make them feel bad by going to their house and then rejecting them after seeing their daughter. Now that is mean.