I agree with PCG especially with a coach thing, may be I have mentioned it before but I was really pissed off at my daughter's khatm-e-Quran party when some really rich and millionaire lady gifted Zafeerah a recycled Saki japenese set and had the courage to ask me later is Zafeerah playing with it.I know I am not born here in US but I am not dumb also that I cannot recognize those things.Someone must have gifted her husband that thing on Christmas party and she passes it over. You yourself have prada handbags and your shoes are high class but when it comes to gifts you don't have heart to gift.The only reason I am meeting this lady is her husband is oncologist and he did us a huge favor. When you do something bigger I think you have to ignore little things like gifts. Now I know her habit so I don't get irritated because this hasn't happen to me only. She did to one of my really close friend by gifting her butter holder which was only 4 $. Anywayz the thing is that this really kanjoos rich lady is nice when it comes to helping others and that's the main thing that counts. Because I was really impressed when her husband secretly donated the largest donation for masjid and when one of really poor muslim brother needed help her husband attended him without appointment and without money. Well at the end I learned that we shouldn't be expecting high from everyone and we should always look other good qualities of people too.
Sounds like it's her husband who has the big heart, and she has to play along when it comes to situations like sickness. But let's say she wasn't married to this guy. She'd still be kanjoos because that is her real personality.
I give what I can. I'm in deep debt right now from education, and I still scramble together some money for a gift card. I know it's not much that I give, but I let people know that look, my finances are super stretched and it's going to take me a couple of years to pay off the debt. But for now, this is what little I can afford. The girls see me in the mall at times, and I always make it a point to let them know I'm spending the afternoon there to find good bargains. So they all know that I'm not flying high in money.
But still. I NEVER get a cheap product from a cheap venue and give it just to fulfill some obligation. If I'm not in the mood to give a gift to someone, I don't show up at their party. And I never get invited again, which is fine, because I'm fairly picky about who I socialize with.