Re: Recycled Gifts
@Decent - ouch. That really bites. On my nikkah someone gave me a ring in a small jewelry box. I knew it was a re-gift as the bottom of it said from S to T. I am N. Hehe. My mom was annoyed as she gave them really nice stuff always...but whatever.
Re: Recycled Gifts
If you give nice stuff to people expecting just as nice stuff in return, please do yourself a favour and do not give out nice stuff.
beat this
Our kids received a gift on Eid party couple of years ago from family-A in a gift bag that we gave with gift to family-B. How we figured that out? well, family-A forgot to take off the card tied to gift bag which still had
"wishing you a elmo-holic birthday. from
written over it. Look like that gift bag changed hands only to reach its rightful owners :D
So here is the thing. Do you continue to associate with these people? Do you keep inviting them to parties?
I feel like this low class behavior doesn't end, because no one provides any negative feedback to these sort of families.
If you give nice stuff to people expecting just as nice stuff in return, please do yourself a favour and do not give out nice stuff.
Sour grapes?
Re: Recycled Gifts
Follow-up on the men's perfume: My mom has really been trying to figure out this puzzle, because we're all super shocked that this girl would do such a thing. I mean, you can't be that stupid.
So, turns out when my parents were first inviting people to this party, people were not told it was for us girls. people were told it is just a get together.
Calls went around behind our back because no one bought it, since we've never thrown a dawat ever, and so my aunt blabbed it to some of the families she knew. So, most people were prepared to bring gifts. Which is why I was so surprised people were so generous. Makes sense. I figured that my parents had re-called everyone and told them the real deal. So I think there were some families that didn't get the news, and that's why they bought a gift for my father, not realizing what the event was about.
I keep telling them, they probably were mixed up and thought you had a son, since I never socialize with these famiilies and never go with my mom to any of their dawats.
Who knows. I bet she probably felt pretty bad when she realized it was really a part for us girls.
Damn aunt of mine. This is the result of women's gossip, seriously!
Re: Recycled Gifts
If you truly want to give, give without ever expecting anything in return. That is the real joy of giving.
Re: Recycled Gifts
Barbecue said it the best. I only re gift nice things depending on the person I am gifting to. If I know the person will like and use it then I give it to them. Once in a while I end up gifting things I would like to keep but cannot because I have so many of the same things i.e.-I got 4 shawls as gifts when I went to PK after marriage. I gave one to my cousin and she loved it. It was a nice shawl but I already had more at home and plus three new ones. The fourth was very nice but since I had so many I could afford to give it away. My cousin wore that shawl to the next five parties as that was how much she liked it. I also make sure I don't gift a gift to someone who knows the person that gifted me the gift. Meaning, if my cousin gave me something, I would never re gift it to another cousin because she might wear/use it in front if the other cousin without knowing(i.e. clothes,accessories.) I made the mistake of doing this and my cousin remembered the item! Luckily she had not gifted me the item but just asked if I wanted it b/c she had come from overseas and bought so many of similar kinds of the same thing. My khala gave me the item later saying give it to your cousin for her bday. (later my cousin who offered me the gift realized she wanted to keep it but her Mom had already given it to me to give) hahaha
Re: Recycled Gifts
I totally understand getting a batch of things that you dont like or that you wont use, or you have too many of.
But why regift? Why not give those things to charity? Why not just get something new for someone, something that you've put some thought into?
It tells me that person is just trying to cut costs. Regifting is free. Which is so friggin desi.
So here is the thing. Do you continue to associate with these people? Do you keep inviting them to parties?
I feel like this low class behavior doesn't end, because no one provides any negative feedback to these sort of families.
Yes we do still invite those people. I dont associate love with gift or cost. Sometimes people have majbooris such as health problems, money problems or any other problem because of which they cant go out and buy a gift for specific occasion. Also I have met many people who really dont have sense of buying gifts 9my wife count me in them too) but that does not mean that they dont love the person they are giving gift too.
If its a thoughtful gift, thats wonderful and if its a recycled one, we dont care much.
pyaricgudia..yaar kaam socha karo..phir tumhe boht kaam cheezen buri lagengi
Re: Recycled Gifts
When I re-gift something to someone I ask them if they are willing to accept that re-gifted item . I also tell them who gifted it to me and at what occasion. But this re-gifting is done at random time not on a special occasion. Special occasions deserve special gifts .
It tells me that person is just trying to cut costs.
Well yeah. I don't know about every body else here, but after getting laid off (though I'm treating the job search as a full time job), after rent and the rest of the bills are paid for the month using hubby's salary, there's very little left, even after all the coupon clipping, clearance racks and cutting back on every possible thing we can think of. But that doesn't mean that the occasions stop...people still get married, get promotions, have children, graduate, have birthdays, etc. And you have to get them something. But some months, there's very little left over for any extras like gifts...so yeah, I reach into my storage closet and pull out something I've received previously. I consider the occasion and whether or not the person(s) can actually use what I'm considering. I make sure the packaging is still intact and everything looks new and unused. And then I re-gift it. I try hard not to make this the regular practice, but as the months go by it's hard to avoid.
Which is so friggin desi.
I disagree. A lot of my non-desi friends are resorting to this more and more in the past few years. They simply don't have the disposable income anymore.
Re: Recycled Gifts
That's true mistral, but that excuse doesn't work when you have enough disposable income to be buying multiple coach purses.
Re: Recycled Gifts
I truly believe a gift is a direct reflection of ones own personal tastes, should not give out stuff you would never think of buying or using for yourself, simple.then it all depends on the budget, relationship and occassion of course.
I truly believe a gift is a direct reflection of ones own personal tastes, should not give out stuff you would never think of buying or using for yourself, simple.then it all depends on the budget, relationship and occassion of course.
Exactly.
If I know someone shops at Walmart or dollar store regularly (repeat after me folks--"not that there's anything wrong with that!") then I wouldn't expect them to get me a coach bag. thats ridiculous
That's true mistral, but that excuse doesn't work when you have enough disposable income to be buying multiple coach purses.
Touché.
That's perfectly understandable.
Re: Recycled Gifts
Even at Walmart you can come up with something tasteful. How people randomly pick up things off the shelf and gift them without thinking is beyond me.
Re: Recycled Gifts
For the very same reason I believe in giving hugs than gifts . Each time they are new 
I don’t think it’s wrong to re-gift something that hasn’t been used or opened. If there’s a party being hosted for family friends, you usually get the same type of gifts… vase, bowl, crystal, picture frame, etc. How much can one really store in their house? If my parents look at the box and know that we’re not going to use it, they won’t bother opening it and will give it to someone else as long as it hasn’t been opened/used and isn’t a cheap gift. Usually, we buy gifts but if there’s no time, we’ll give the gifts we stored from before.
I agree :k:
PCG, I agree with you on the walmart purse, when you see the gift-giver with a coach purse. That is disrespectful… your friend should have instead made some dish and brought it to your party, that would have been better. I never re-gift when it comes to my close friends.
I agree with PCG especially with a coach thing, may be I have mentioned it before but I was really pissed off at my daughter's khatm-e-Quran party when some really rich and millionaire lady gifted Zafeerah a recycled Saki japenese set and had the courage to ask me later is Zafeerah playing with it.I know I am not born here in US but I am not dumb also that I cannot recognize those things.Someone must have gifted her husband that thing on Christmas party and she passes it over. You yourself have prada handbags and your shoes are high class but when it comes to gifts you don't have heart to gift.The only reason I am meeting this lady is her husband is oncologist and he did us a huge favor. When you do something bigger I think you have to ignore little things like gifts. Now I know her habit so I don't get irritated because this hasn't happen to me only. She did to one of my really close friend by gifting her butter holder which was only 4 $. Anywayz the thing is that this really kanjoos rich lady is nice when it comes to helping others and that's the main thing that counts. Because I was really impressed when her husband secretly donated the largest donation for masjid and when one of really poor muslim brother needed help her husband attended him without appointment and without money.
Well at the end I learned that we shouldn't be expecting high from everyone and we should always look other good qualities of people too.