Really Need Help

Lifestyle Relationships
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I'm actually doing both right now, so I don't know why this is a choice.

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We are pretty fierce enemies at this point, and I'm not about to reverse it. She was very verbally abusive, upon me asking a few things from her: like, please be careful about extended overnight stays from friends and bf's and can we please work on lowering the energy usage because the electric bill is much higher than usual.

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Re: Really Need Help

UMDJazz: True, but you weren't there to see her behavior. She's absolutely annoying, and irritating, and I have zero professional respect for her. I'd rather not talk to her, because talking to her would give me more of a headache before. Not talking to her and watching her try to peeve me off is more entertaining. It's just that the cold does get to me, and I don't have the physical energy for "who is the last one to change the thermostat tonight" games.

Psquared: Good advice about getting a 3rd party involved and re-drawing the rules ON PAPER this time. The first time, we did not do it on paper, which was my fault. I should have taken a sheet out when her parents were here, drawn up a quick agreement and had both of us sign it.

Gaia: Putting a heater in my room, and further lowering the temp is not a good option. It's going to increase my bill, which is the bottom line goal that I want changed. I want that bill to be less. Every penny I save each month goes a long way.

Fairytale: I can't speak to her calmly and nicely about her BF issue now, because I've already done that. She refuses. She says it is her right to have him stay for up to a period of 90 days without my permission. I have already told her that if I see him again, I will not hesitate to let her parents know that this is the source of trouble between us and that we had agreed there would be no overnight boyfriends!

Some of you say it is childish if I do that, but honestly, I could care less. If I have to tattle-tale, I will, because that's the only thing I have that I can hold over her head.

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Maybe you misunderstood me, my advice is to deal with it. Unless you're the type of person that gets angry at mosquitoes for biting you, or at a cat for sitting in your chair, carpe diem! Try it, I think you'll be happier that way.

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give her ur two weeks notice and find another place to live :) Good Luck! My sister has had some crazy yet similiar experiences with her roommates as you. One was sooo damn cheap and big on hisaab kitaab, to the point where she came and asked my sis for 50 cents because my sister owed her for something...lolll and the other roommate was psychotic and suicidal..so yea she moved out and got a better place of her own...I suggest the same to you :)

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Re: Really Need Help

Peace sister PCG

Well by the sound of it your roomy sounds like on one hand a stingy person and on the other hand quite careless about the bill when she puts the temperature down.

So compromise … Increase the temperature to an amount that is on the hot side for her and the cold side for you. That way she will not bother nor you to adjust the thermostat.

Also, purchase this item or equivalent:
OWL | Wireless Electricity Monitor Designed To Save You Money & The Environment - Home

It is an energy monitor that clips on the power supply cable using magnetic induction it tells you how much energy is being consumed. If she gets to see tangible power consumption figures then she might be more prudent about the energy waste. Afterall, she sounds miserly and you can play on that to make her save money.

Try not to fall out but think at a level higher than hers. Perhaps she wants to annoy enough so you move out agreeing to give her the 3k?

Rather than blaming her for any high communal costs just reason with her that both of you should do your bit. At the end of the day you don’t have to like each other to work with each other for mutual benefit.

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Mom Power!!!! I'd go with this.

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Re: Really Need Help

any solution, yeah did the gori larkee drive PCG out of the house :hehe:

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OK, PCG, I'm very late to this discussion, but here's a suggestion:

Why not set up a website or blog complaining about your roommate, complete with daily photos and updates, and ask readers to make donations to pay the $3000 you need to break your lease and get out?

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Excellent Idea … :k:

other than that, I am sorry to say PCG but you are stuck. Only 3000$ can bail you out. Any other action will only make your everyday life difficult.

If you are doing what you said you are doing then you are pretty generous. When I was with a roommate, I had the master bed (with bath) and I was paying 55% of the rent (and he was paying 45%). If I used to cook, he used to clean and wash (and vice versa). We both came to US together and I bought car before him so I drove him to places for 5/6 months (even to his Moharram Majlis although I am not a Shia Muslim .. 40 miles every night ..10 nights ) …but then, we were very good friends unlike your situation

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Re: Really Need Help

I didn't think a few extra sq feet for a room warranted extra money from her.

Yeah next time there will be written agreements over roommate situations

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oh my God! Like please tell me that you carried on with your discipline and are just as good with your wife!:sweetif:

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Re: Really Need Help

^ yeah!

What is Nikah Misyar?
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Re: Really Need Help

just put sleeping pills in her drinks, and when she is zoned out give her testosterone injections, repeat for a few months. Soon all these issues will go away.

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pir sahab, will the issues go away or will this “grow” a new issue ? :hehe:

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Re: Really Need Help

can u not find a new roomie and kick this one out? or was there a contract to how long she could stay?

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^ The shots could help drive away the room mate’s not-so-bright boyfriend.

^…With the growth of…ahem…a few issues…it could potentially lead to room mate developing an attraction to PCG.

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:rotfl:

:omg:

RV i was not expecting that from you :hehe:

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Re: Really Need Help

red velvet humari suhbat mein reh kar kharab ho gayeen hain. :D

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I feel your pain PCG because I have had to endure a couple of horrible roomate situations in the past myself. These are all unfortunately learning experiences for all of us - next time around we know better. Problem is that people like your roomate take advantage of kindness and take their selfishness to a whole other level. From my experience - one can't try to reason with these type of people. It is like useless on trying to stay on their "good side"/ be their "friend". Compromises are pointless because the shady roommate will at some point forget about them. My advice:

  1. Seriously not cool that the stupid AC is keeping you up at night. No need for you to live in Siberia either. Bring your complaints to her and say that the situation is causing you medical problems that is now affecting your work. Give her specifics examples of how and why. Tell her that you spoke to your primary care physician about it and they think you are having issues with sleep and concentration (this will solve the living room issue) due to the temperature of the apt. White people get scared once you start bringing authority figures into the convo (in this situation - doctor).

You shouldn't have to buy a heater for your room. It is only going to increase your electricity bill even more....the reason being the stupid roomate. And as you says- isolates you from using the rest of the apartment fairly.

  1. Also remind her that at the beginning of your living arrangement, you had told her you are not comfortable with the overnight bf situation. Make her feel guilty and bad about going back on that verbal agreement. She might say "it's my place too and I can have whoever I want over". You just reply that it's not about that...its about the fact that she did not respect what you guys had agreed upon at the beginning and that it shows you that she disrespects your culture/values/and religion.

  2. If she continues with the AC crap and doesn't buy that it's affecting you and your use of the apartment then tell her she needs to foot the extra bill it causes. Show her proof of the increase in the bill since she started using the AC. Tell her that for your own medical reasons AC is something you can live without. And tell her that you tried to reason with her to discontinue the use but since she didn't - she has to now foot that part of the bill. She is such a cheap ass - that this might make her re think her own living situation with you and make her wnat to move out.

  3. Sit her down and bring up every single issue and then calmly tell her at the end that if things do not change immediately, you are going to the landlord to complain (again - an authority figure). And you should go to the landlord to complain and ask for advice. Spin the story so that the landlord is super sympathetic towards you and your situation. Lay on the pity party thick. You never know what could come from it.

  4. I have no idea if your building/landlord allows you to sublet. But if it does, I say put your room on craigslist and anytime you are away for a month or more, sublet it. You will not have to pay your rent and it will ANNOY your roomate beyond anything. No one likes having to deal with random new strangers living in their space.

  5. If you find out you can sublet then do everything in your power to make her life hell so that she wants to move out. Then sublet her room. That way legally the lease will not be broken and neither one of you will have to pay a fine.

Continue not doing the dishes. Awesome

If you see that she isn't in the living room - take it upon yourself to occupy that area. Bring out all of your blankies to keep you warm if you have to.

Any decorations or nice things you have in the common areas (dining room, living room) that is yours. - Box it up. She will get annoyed that the "space" is not as nice as it was before.

Invite your friends over and entertain them in the living room as often as you can. Make sure she is not included in an obvious manner.

When talking to your mom or other family members - speak in "mother tongue" while she is around. Say her name a couple of times so she knows you are talking about her. It will annoy her so much that she is being talked about and doesn't even know what is being said.

Go with another's suggestion on here to label everything. EVERYTHING.

Let me know if you need any other ideas. Sorry if I repeated other peoples ideas. It's late and I don't even know why I am up right now.

Sounds like you have an awesome apartment and those are hard to come by. Try to get her to move out and then sublet. If you can't, then toughen it out till the lease comes to an end. Go out of your way to make her life uncomfortable in the process. Don't feel bad about doing it because she is doing the same to you and is obvious of a very selfish nature to even let things get this bad.