around the age of 17 I knew some..the rest later on..around 22 maybe
I'm curious to know when you became aware of the "realities of life". I'm referring to things like the actual "cost of living"......
When did you figure out how much the following cost:
owning/renting a home
owning a vehicle (including maintenance and repair costs like insurance, fuel etc.)
groceries
utilities
eating out and entertainment
clothing and grooming
I find that a lot of girls from our community live sheltered lives and rarely, when questioned, would be able to give you an idea of these costs until such time as they are married and living with their hubbies. Some of the guys in the same category are better versed. Is that good or bad? I'm not sure but I'd like to read your thoughts.......
The question is directed to both guys and gals.....
IlamashAllah...I strongly believe one should know how to accomodate himself under any condition.People dont change themselves, circumstances change them.My mom keeps pestering me, Namaz/Quran parha karo, take life seriously, Karobar ma dhiyan do, achay dost banao, loogoun se mila karo and so on.
Waqt sub ka baap hai, sub kuch sikha dehta hai.When I ll have responsibilities I ll learn how to tackle/coup them.
God forbid kabhi mujh per itna tough time ho.
Ahmed....of course we will all deal with things when it is time and hopefully nobody faces difficulty....but the sooner you are aware of realities, the better equipped you are to prepare for them.
My Nani always tells us that we should divide our pay in three parts,
1 for parents (any amount)
1 for charity (even if it's $1 it counts)
1 for yourself expenses and everything
She herself taught that to her children. I remember my younger mamo used to give her money every month for her use. She was getting her Old age benefits and pension so what she did is she put that money aside. Last year my uncle really needed money and guess what, that money saved up over the years turned into a lump sum of $20000. She gave it to him saying it's his money that she saved.
^ the funny thing was, my parents looked down on girls doing the typical jobs that HS-ers do (food and retail)......but I remember them praising a family friend who was in college and had some kind of job in the medical field (lab or something, i don't rmemeber). and I remember thinking....."well, don't you need experience to get better jobs? how do I get a good job if I don't start somewhere????" Plus, there was the added thinking that my dad provided well (mA) so it wasn't "necessary" for me to work.
Of course things are very very different now, they dont' think that way anymore, but I wish they'd had this mindset when I was younger.
My parents had the same mentality, if it was a professional job it was impressive, and then you had their full permission to do it, but if it was a food or retail job that was not acceptable. I didn't know it at the time, but my dad made mash Allah made good money too so they didn't feel it was necessary for me either. They are very different now my younger sister was encouraged to work for her own pocket money, (she has a student job at the university she goes to).
oh boy I have been through so much financial problems in my life. My first job was back in highschool at 16 years of age. I blew so much money. I should have saved. Fast forward, when I got into medical school I incurred so much debt. For instance, line of credit etc. Loan from my parents. I had to pay it all off if not then just interest. Yikes. But since the day I became doctor Allah has blessed me so much and taught myself to save more and invested my money in safe investment. I am glad.
My parents had the same mentality, if it was a professional job it was impressive, and then you had their full permission to do it, but if it was a food or retail job that was not acceptable. I didn't know it at the time, but my dad made mash Allah made good money too so they didn't feel it was necessary for me either. They are very different now my younger sister was encouraged to work for her own pocket money, (she has a student job at the university she goes to).
I see this as a mistake that many parents make. They are worried about the "calibre" and "status" of the employment more than they are concerned for the discipline that their child (either male or female) will learn from it. I don't get it......why can't people see past the whole social stigma of "oho.....log kya kahengay....beti say naukri karwatay hain hum!!?"
@Hassan -- So do you know what the cost of a month's worth of electricity, gas and water is now?
My parents had the same mentality, if it was a professional job it was impressive, and then you had their full permission to do it, but if it was a food or retail job that was not acceptable. I didn't know it at the time, but my dad made mash Allah made good money too so they didn't feel it was necessary for me either. They are very different now my younger sister was encouraged to work for her own pocket money, (she has a student job at the university she goes to).
Glad to not feel alone now :D
Even then I wondered.....how do you get a professional job without starting somewhere like retail/food? I'm not entirely sure how things were a decade ago but was it really easy to get a good job right out of college with no work experience? At hte least, I figured food/retail jobs get you in the habit of working, managing time and all...but im getting OT.
^Sara, I didn't get a job right out of college I went into my masters program and am still working on the practicum. But my resume looks good, I put all my internship, volunteer, and field study information on it so I don't think a retail or food job would have mattered at this point. :)
Not only girls but boys too, althuogh I have to agree girls are more pampered and spoiled in desi culture. I find them to be the highest maintenance least deserving women out there*. What more since so few have lived/worked outside of their house they don't realize the costs of living by youself.
I seriously know 14 year old high schoolers with jobs who are more independent than most desis.
Learning to cook AFTER college was over was one of my biggest regrets in life. I wonder how much better my grades would have been had I not been starving and feeling shamed for spending money on takeout all the itme.
To demonstarte this I compare them to Arab women*. Arab food is so natural, they have to thaw the meat, marinate it for hours, prepare it, all natural ingredients. NO **ing to go along with it. Desi women....thaw chicken, no green vegetables, no antural healthy organic ingredients....bomb it with masala, ** and tell yo uto be thankful for all she's done for you. XD
Not only girls but boys too, althuogh I have to agree girls are more pampered and spoiled in desi culture. I find them to be the highest maintenance least deserving women out there*. What more since so few have lived/worked outside of their house they don't realize the costs of living by youself.
I seriously know 14 year old high schoolers with jobs who are more independent than most desis.
Learning to cook AFTER college was over was one of my biggest regrets in life. I wonder how much better my grades would have been had I not been starving and feeling shamed for spending money on takeout all the itme.
To demonstarte this I compare them to Arab women*. Arab food is so natural, they have to thaw the meat, marinate it for hours, prepare it, all natural ingredients. NO **ing to go along with it. **Desi women....thaw chicken, no green vegetables, no antural healthy organic ingredients....bomb it with masala, ** and tell yo uto be thankful for all she's done for you.** XD
This made me LOL. It's so true. My mom was constantly forcing me to eat the vegetables she made... Well yes vegetables are healthy, NOT vegetables drenched in oil and masala. I cook gora food for myself and my mother HATES it but I love it and it's healthy.