Re: REAL troubles
WOW mama, those are indeed tough, life altering decisions. I'm not even going to pretend to give you advice because I have NO CLUE what I would do in your position. Turn to God for help and ask him to guide you in your decision making, IF you even have any decision making power, I'm assuming you're pretty much a bystander.
Steff and I have DNRs signed, but ultimately it's up to God how and when we go, whether or not we suffer before we go or whether we go peacefully, so focus on being a good human being, which it sounds like you already are, God be with you and bestow patience on you and your family.