sigh sometimes I wonder at the postings here, the troubles that are perceived as SO big…when, all things considered, they are truly insignificant. Such are the blessings of young people maybe. So here I present a problem.
My SIL is in dire straights, very sick and in the neurology ward of a top hospital in US. She has suffered irreparable brain damage from an immune system disease (either SLS lupus or CNS MS) and will not recover but they may be able to stop the disease process from progressing…with chemotherapy. Chemo is something that she never ever wanted in her body. But thats when we were discussing cancer in its advanced stages, and used to give more time before death. In her current situation, she does not have her mental faculties and will not recover them to any remarkable degree, If she gets the chemo, it will help to prevent further deterioration. She will live out a normal life span. If she does NOT get the chemo, the disease process will continue, she will firther decline as the disease attacks her brain and she will STILL live (probably) a normal life span.
Assisted suicide is illegal in the US so thats out of the question but I think that would have been her top choice in this case. That would be my choice too and one that I’ve been talking to hubs about just so he knows what I’d want if I became too incapacitated to tel him. Take me to switzerland and lets get it done.
I dont mean to belittle the troubles that are posted here on the board…but lets try to keep these in perspective yeah?
I guess I’m really grouchy and resentful these days cause I’m seeing this thru with my brother and then when I come here and people are like “oh no…I have SUCH a problem”,those problems just seem so very small to me now and instead of being able to provide helpful or happy insight, I just growl and curse.
Ohh boyy… I dunno what to say. I really really hope and pray that Allah has mercy on her and gives her relief and comfort. What a terrible situation to be in. :hinna:
mama, I really dont know what to say except that I feel so sorry for your SIL and your family. May Allah make it easy for your SIL, Amen. Miracles happen so dont lose hope in her. InshAllah, she'll be fine!
I am so sorry to hear that. Its true, nothing is more important than your health and that of your loved ones. May Allah give your sister in law peace and your family sabar. Inshallah.
MO3.. I am very sorry to hear about that.. may Allah Taala give her long and healthy life.. InshaAllah things will get easy for her and your family. Your SIL is in our prayers!
Offtopic- I didn’t like the fact that you called other’s problems “insiginificant” just because they may not be going through the same pain as yours- when bad things happen to people, people feel sad, upset, and whine here or seek advice online! Someone who just lost a job or going through a sore divorce or just the fact that they are unable to find a good mate for themselves might be going through the same phase of depression as someone who lost a family member recently!
Loosing a loved one is NOTHING like losing a job, going through a divorce etc. There’s a saying, a man was crying because he had not shoes, untill he saw a man whose feet were chopped off. I personally have gone through a serious loss recently and believe me, All you can do is try and get your mind to move elsewhere. Sometimes when people tell me their HUGE problems inside I think be grateful for your good fortune, you have no idea what true pain is.
To Gemini: May Allah protect you and never give you the chance to see how wrong these statements you just made are.
Has anyone read that Anwar Pasha thread in AV forum? Thats what got me thinking about how insignificant my problems are compared to so many people.
Gemini, MO3 is not trying to trivialize anyone else's issues. She is offering a different perspective on it...its a good thing. A divorce can be absolutely horrendous but when you compare it to a situation like MO3's SIL...suddenly it doesnt seem so bad. Suddenly, it becomes managable.
things can turn around, there is good in every thing. try to be optimistic. easier said than done i know, but you are a mature woman so you might jsut pull it off. it is good to take your own advice in this case, their are many people in the world who have more horrendous issues.so lets count our blessings for little joys perhaps.
WOW mama, those are indeed tough, life altering decisions. I'm not even going to pretend to give you advice because I have NO CLUE what I would do in your position. Turn to God for help and ask him to guide you in your decision making, IF you even have any decision making power, I'm assuming you're pretty much a bystander.
Steff and I have DNRs signed, but ultimately it's up to God how and when we go, whether or not we suffer before we go or whether we go peacefully, so focus on being a good human being, which it sounds like you already are, God be with you and bestow patience on you and your family.
MO3…I pray that Allah gives her and your family the patience to to go through this. I can only imagine how hard this must be for her and the whole family.
I agree with GTG…When an individual is going through a problem. It seems big to them. Having a bad relationship or going through divorce and many other issues that are discussed here are huge issues as well. It would not be fair to say that their issues are insignificant.
I am sorry to hear that. I hope she recovers and the chemo comes through for her. Raegrding assited suicide, Its legal now in Oregon and Washington, not that I am recommending them for anyone at all!! Just informative purposes. I never thought it would ever be legal in the Us but it is !
Loosing a loved one is NOTHING like losing a job, going through a divorce etc. There's a saying, a man was crying because he had not shoes, untill he saw a man whose feet were chopped off. I personally have gone through a serious loss recently and believe me, All you can do is try and get your mind to move elsewhere. Sometimes when people tell me their HUGE problems inside I think be grateful for your good fortune, you have no idea what true pain is.
To Gemini: May Allah protect you and never give you the chance to see how wrong these statements you just made are.
I didn;t mean to imply that losing a loved one is just the same as losing a job- I lost my dad at 18 and I would not wish anyone to go through that pain- I thought half of me died with him but still I knew my pain was mine- significant to me not to anyone else in the world!
Losing a job if your family is entirely dependent on that one income is one of the worst things that a person can go through- not that I have been through it but I have worked with low socio economic status families and new immigrants to the US- what they go through is terrible!I know a girl who opted for divorce just because the guy refused to accept the baby since he couldnt afford it- What she went through was terrible, she didn't deserve that and I tried showing her the logic behind it but according to her that was the worst thing that happened to her- We all go through pains and sufferings and what may seem very minor to you might be the worst thing that could happen to me- we are no one to judge each other's problems as small or big!
MO3's sil is in my prayers- I have been followingn her SIL's updates regularly and I can just pray to Allah Taala to make it easy for her and her family- she has small kids and I hope n pray that she recovers and spends time with her kids healthy and happy. Ameen.
