Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighboring kingdom.
The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur’s youthful
happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very
difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer;
if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed.
The question was: “What do women really want?”
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to
young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Since it was better than
death, however, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer
by year’s end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody:
the princesses, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court
jester.
In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory
answer.
What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she
would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was
famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to
talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he’d have to
accept her price first: the old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most
noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur’s closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous,
had only one tooth, smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises.
He had never run across such a repugnant creature.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a
burden.
Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him
that nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life and
the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed,
and the witch answered Arthur’s
question:
What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own
life.
Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and
that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it went. The neighboring
monarch spared Arthur’s life and granted him total freedom.
What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief
and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old
witch put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched
and passed gas, and made everyone uncomfortable.
The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific
night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful
woman he’d ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what
had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she’d
been so hideous), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self,
and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would
he want her to be during
the day and which during the night?
What a cruel question! Gawain began to think of his predicament: during
the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in
the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having
by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many
intimate moments?
(What would you do?)
Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon
hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time,
because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.
What is the moral of this story?
The moral is that it doesn’t matter if your woman is pretty or ugly,
smart or dumb. Underneath it all, she’s still a witch.
you just massacred the wife of bath’s tale from the Canterbury tales 
and its only half an ion of funny 
