I was reading a story in an old “sachi kahaniyan” and i assume they r true to some degree. It was about a girl who gets raped, and she is soo embarrassed that she tells the guy to kill her but the guy throws her infront of her house because hes takin revenge cuz she said no ti him. Anways when her parents find out shes raped, they wish death upon themselves, her father tells her to die n poor girl is “taanafied” by her neighbors n all so she ends up tryin to kill herself but when she doesnt succeeed shes married off to her fathers friend. I dont know if its fake or not, but i do know that rape victims r treated worse than being raped. Mostly in lower or middle class if a girl gets raped, shes has to shut up, her parents r wishin she was dead or that they would die, and neighbors and family member refuse to talk to the victim or her family member, and the poor rape victim, who is already traumatized is treated liek she committed a sin whereas the real culprit roams free. I mean nowaday, there r women activist and they r helpin out rape victims, but the stigma that becomes attached to the rape victim is almost inhuman. Do people forget that they too have or are someone bahu, betiyan and behenain. I was jus so shocked that parents who r suppose to love u unconditionally can turn their faces, I know it doesnt happen EVERYWHERE in ppakistan, but it does happen. If they can advertise about condoms n safe sex, n population control n breastfeeding, they can also adverttise about clinics that help rape victims n provide counselin for the girls n their families. Im sure there r places for counseling for rape victims but they need to let themselves be known so that the girls and their families know that there si someone out there for help.
jus felt liek venting
ya allah madad
At this place i used to volunteer, they preferred to be called rape survivors, not victims. It's such a ... oh my God what should one say about this issue. It's a global problem. Stigma exists in North America as well. Without proper training, some police officers subtly end up accusing the individual who was raped - were you drunk? did you perhaps lead him on? did you say "NO" forcibly or not? did you encourage him? how many partners have you had in the past with whom you have had sexual relations? Believe it or not, these are paraphrased questions that some raped females have had to encounter, from police officers, in North America. Today, more emphasis is given on training etc. but still the ignorance remains in all parts of the world.
As for the stigma... of course the rapist goes scot-free merrily along with his freaking life. It's the female who always pays the price. You are so right: that girl is someone's daughter, someone's sister, could be someone's grandmother. Someone's mother.
Barbarism knows no limits. Humans are sick creatures.
slightly off topic.. a lot of rape cases happen within ones own home.. and thats as sick as it gets
there animals
I know of a family who had a long running fued with annother.
This said family had one sister whom they loved, there was 5 brothers I think.
The poeple with which they had a fued raped and kidnapped the sister.
The sister was then ,urdered by the brothers to keep the familiy honour.
exactly Nadia, it is always insinuated by those around the victim that somehow it was sumthin they did that lured the rapist to rape them. Its never fathomed that the rapist couldnt keep his thing in his pants n therefore it was mandatory for him to rape someone because what kinda of a man would he be if he walked away from temptation.
Hiccup, that is soo sick, kill your own sister in Honor, but let the ass who raped ur sister walk away, because god forbid that would be unhonorable. How do these people sleep at night after murdering their own traumatized sister who needed her family the most after bein raped. I strongly believe what goes around comes around n for this typr of shi**y people, times THREE
I think the sister also took poison herself.
on a brighter side... pakistan television is raising the topic and how to help these people.
Just the other day I was watching a show on GEO (I think 50 minutes)
and they totally agreed w/you devil and there is a small movement trying to help these women.
thats soo sad hiccy..
hey muniya 
yea there r small movemnts, lil baby steps r better than nuthin.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by hiccup: *
I know of a family who had a long running fued with annother.
This said family had one sister whom they loved, there was 5 brothers I think.
The poeple with which they had a fued raped and kidnapped the sister.
The sister was then ,urdered by the brothers to keep the familiy honour.
[/QUOTE]
that is disgusting, it wasnt even her fault!
a friend of mine knew someone who was raped at gunpoint, the poor girl, her parents told her to shut up about the whole affair and not even tell the police!
Virginity the major myth of our society
That girl should have said its time for my "badla" now. She should have chop something off of him and told him to show his "mardangi" now
This society will not change by giving lectures those condoms lectures didnt do ( Thats why we have 6 or more kids in every house) any good what will rape couseling for family would do? May be if the counseling is for only victims then perhaps yes.
I think the only way this will stop when that woman who has been raped and thrown away does something about it. Instead of feeling sorry for herself; take an action. I can't even imagine what would probably go through her mind but crying wouldnt do any good, no one gives a damn about those tears.
Again Father ( who is a man) would say go kill yourself, brother who is also another man would kill another sister. That mother who tells her own daughter commit suicide i dont consider her a mother. Just because she poped few kids out doesnt make her a mom. Rab ne mah nu pyar di morti banaya ve te nale kadma thaley Jannat.
YOu morons, assholes the reason its consider a rape is because girl didnt want to do it if she did then it would be a different story.
Allah has made pairs each time He made something. He made man and woman. Man who is physically stronger ONLY. He gave woman amazing abilities and major one is They are emotionaly strong. *WOMAN use that skill *
Nia women are raised to supress that skill, sacrifice everyting for ur man, dont question him, support him (right or wrong) n make sure u follow his every command in order to become the perfect form of an eastern woman. Women are tauhgt to be emotionally strong ONLY in compliance with bearing every whim of their man. Its a Deal with it n move on kind of a pervarish.
I know its wrong treatment by our society towards victims.
anyone aware what islam says about how to treat a rape victim?
what are her options according to islam?
i think these girls should be married and move to different city or country to overcome this and avoid people stare torture.
^^ Just to answer a part of ur question, its not so easy to pick up and go. Besides the rape victim hasnt done anything wrong so why should they have to act liek a criminal in this case. Why should the rapist walk off whereas the victim has to "moo chupa" ? The victim didnt commit a sin. The Rapist did. And it would be easier for the victim to pick up and go and start fresh in a city where no1 knows her, u have to realize that "battling with other peoples reaction and "taane" are not the only trauma the victim has to go thru. The greater battle is the psycological trauma, painful memories and the fear instilled in them from the rape follows them wherever they go. They can move to anycity to get away from the world, even to the farthest corner, but that doesnt mean they wil also automatically get away from themselves n the emotional n pyshical pain theyve been put thru. ANd How is she supposed to marrysome1 else. I hink when a girl is raped, the last thing on her mind is marriage. The fear and hatred for her rapist might hurt her so uch that the last thing she might want IMMEDIATLY after bein raped is to be touche by another man. People need time to heal, n Marriage isnt the answer. I realize hat u sympahize with the girl, but what ure prescribing as a solution comes off as making the girl some kind of a criminal. Move hojao, shadi kerdo. These r ways to get rid of :the badnami, stop people from talkin bout her n her parent, but how is that helpin the girl cope with the hell shes been thru??
u'd be surprised how many girls/women have experienced rape/sexual intimidation etc. About one in six is said to have been in contact with sexual violence at least once in her lifetime.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by nia_khan: *
I think the only way this will stop when that woman who has been raped and thrown away does something about it. Instead of feeling sorry for herself; take an action. I can't even imagine what would probably go through her mind but crying wouldnt do any good, no one gives a damn about those tears.
Again Father ( who is a man) would say go kill yourself, brother who is also another man would kill another sister. That mother who tells her own daughter commit suicide i dont consider her a mother. Just because she poped few kids out doesnt make her a mom. Rab ne mah nu pyar di morti banaya ve te nale kadma thaley Jannat.
**
[/QUOTE]
Ditto.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Deviliciousss: *
^^ Just to answer a part of ur question, its not so easy to pick up and go. Besides the rape victim hasnt done anything wrong so why should they have to act liek a criminal in this case. Why should the rapist walk off whereas the victim has to "moo chupa" ? The victim didnt commit a sin. The Rapist did. And it would be easier for the victim to pick up and go and start fresh in a city where no1 knows her, u have to realize that "battling with other peoples reaction and "taane" are not the only trauma the victim has to go thru. The greater battle is the psycological trauma, painful memories and the fear instilled in them from the rape follows them wherever they go. They can move to anycity to get away from the world, even to the farthest corner, but that doesnt mean they wil also automatically get away from themselves n the emotional n pyshical pain theyve been put thru. ANd How is she supposed to marrysome1 else. I hink when a girl is raped, the last thing on her mind is marriage. The fear and hatred for her rapist might hurt her so uch that the last thing she might want IMMEDIATLY after bein raped is to be touche by another man. People need time to heal, n Marriage isnt the answer. I realize hat u sympahize with the girl, but what ure prescribing as a solution comes off as making the girl some kind of a criminal. Move hojao, shadi kerdo. These r ways to get rid of :the badnami, stop people from talkin bout her n her parent, but how is that helpin the girl cope with the hell shes been thru??
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you are right, its not the girl who is sinner her, i agree but i propsed this solution cause of our society, even girl try to forget and get over it still she will not feel confident cause of the people around her.
I am not saying marry her soon, but atleast in this society she has to move away from the situation. its wrong i know but that may help her to overcome the trauma and pain she has gone through. later down the line if she is ready can think of marriage.
ad our society doesnt encourage single girl to move somewhere unless her family also relocate, marriage though painful may be good solution.
this sugggestion definitely is not a permanent thing, our society has to grow up and change minds to accept such innocent girls, that will be very very slow, until that time it may be fairly good choice if not better.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by nia_khan: *
That girl should have said its time for my "badla" now. She should have chop something off of him and told him to show his "mardangi" now
[/QUOTE]
i cheered to that but then thought about it and its not really the solution to the real problem. after such incidents the victims (or survivors) arent in that frame of mind, the last thing on their mind is violence. what they do need is someone to tell them that its not their fault and counsell them through their trauma. at the same time punish the criminal.
as far as im concerned if violence was the solution then i wudnt waste my time chopping around, i'd just shoot one right through the forehead. khallas.