Ahh!!you started my favorite topic, I am raising my children gender neutral my boys are required to cook and clean and show respect for women but your words like breadwinners and leading families make me feel like you still have those male superiority feelings. In te western households women are the major decision makers and for good reason. Children learn thru example so make your husband a role model for them. You are right about being strong and yet kind and gentle.
We went camping with this family and the wife asked her husband how come their boy is so strong and yet o gentle and he responded that it is a process that takes a long time.
make sure you raise them to be desirable by girls that was one of my goals in raising them