What kind of skills, abilities and values should be kept in mind while raising sons?
I come from an all girls family , so I sort of feel the difference that boys have a different kind of role to play later on. They become key bread winners and have to lead families . When I see boys around , I feel disheartened to see so many of them acting very Chauvisnistic . Something I dont want my son to do . I want him to be kind and gentle , helpful in home and in his family unit , yet strong enough to lead and keep his family financially secure and provide them with security all around .
Too ideal an approach. But the best I can do right now is work out what values i can instill in him that will go the long way in his life . Those of you who have raised boys , please share your experiences and ideas to make this achievable .
I'm not married and don't have any kids, but I come from an all girl family as well, majority of my cousins are girls as well. So I've always thought about what I would do if I had boys, raising them to be how you described.
What kind of skills, abilities and values should be kept in mind while raising sons?
I come from an all girls family , so I sort of feel the difference that boys have a different kind of role to play later on. They become key bread winners and have to lead families . When I see boys around , I feel disheartened to see so many of them acting very Chauvisnistic . Something I dont want my son to do . I want him to be kind and gentle , helpful in home and in his family unit , yet strong enough to lead and keep his family financially secure and provide them with security all around .
Too ideal an approach. But the best I can do right now is work out what values i can instill in him that will go the long way in his life . Those of you who have raised boys , please share your experiences and ideas to make this achievable .
Ahh!!you started my favorite topic, I am raising my children gender neutral my boys are required to cook and clean and show respect for women but your words like breadwinners and leading families make me feel like you still have those male superiority feelings. In te western households women are the major decision makers and for good reason. Children learn thru example so make your husband a role model for them. You are right about being strong and yet kind and gentle.
We went camping with this family and the wife asked her husband how come their boy is so strong and yet o gentle and he responded that it is a process that takes a long time.
make sure you raise them to be desirable by girls that was one of my goals in raising them
I don't have any kids but I can share what my MIL did and what my friends who do have sons (desis) are doing.
My MIL was a stay-at-home wife and raised my husband/his brother by herself. Both my husband and BIL know how to cook, clean house, mop/vacumn floors, do laundry, iron clothes, are comfortable grocery shopping and even know quite a bit about gardening. And that's all thanks to how my MIL raised them. I've heard from my husband and from my MIL that growing up, my MIL required both boys to help her with all daily activities. She did not keep her two boys from doing ANY home chores because of their gender. They helped her in the kitchen, cleaning home etc. Of course, she gave them age appropriate chores but it all started when they were very young. By the time they were teenagers, the boys were responsible for doing their laundry/ironing and cleaning their own room/bathroom (yes MIL taught them how to scrub a toilet and bath tub). I am forever grateful to my MIL because my husband doesn't hesitate helping at home at all. He doesn't view any home chores as "women's work" and thanks to MIL teaching him, he actually knows what to do. Both boys were also part of Boy Scouts so they also know how to do traditional "guy stuff" too like changing flat tire/oil, basic plumbing, camping etc. Of course, the importance of an education was also stressed (both boys are physicians now).
I have a few close friends who are raising boys and they are doing what my MIL did....teaching the boys to help with ALL chores at home from a young age. They are not prevented from learning something simply b/c of their gender. I have a friend whose 3-year old son helps her set the table at dinner and helps her load the dishwasher (with close supervision of course). He also helps her during laundry (right now he just throws clothes in the washer lol). Of course, as he grows up, he will be more involved. He even has a play "kitchen" set! One of my cousins has a 9-year old son and she also started young. Now he (at 9) can do his own laundry, makes his own bed. His weekly chores includes things like helping set the dinner table, helping clean the kitchen, helping load dishwasher, vacuuming his own room etc. He also helps often during cooking (again, age appropriate stuff for now).