Salam all,
I’m having a tough time with my 2.5 year old. I can’t seem him to get him to do anything unless I’m bribing him with a lollipop, tv time or chocolates or I’m not threatening him with something.
Please help I would like to be able to have my kid listen to me without me resorting to bribes or threats. I do understand that he will not listen to me a 100% but a few times in the day would be good too.
Re: Raising kids without bribing or threatening
Pick your battles. Other than that, I have experimented with my kids. My older boy was a major whiner and the younger one didn't like listening at all. Instead of pulling my hair out and becoming hitler. I decided to look into their diet. I slowly started to integrate gluten free and organic foods (lots of fruits and vegetables) and began omitting surgery and processed foods. Also I began to organizing activities for them to do, any electronic game or laptop time is 2hrs per week and tv is 1 show per day. I also stopped constantly saying the same things over and over again (nagging).
I have been doing this for about 6 years and found that even though they have thier moments they are much more relaxed, easy going and overall demeanor is calm.
Set your boundaries and learn to differentiate what type of behaviors are punishable. Mean what you say. If you took your kids to McDonald's and they are hyper or you have given them unhealthy treats you can't expect them to listen to you, they are on a high.
I believe starting with what goes into their tummies is a good start and giving them balance of everything is best!
Boys are generally more rambunctious than girls.
Good luck!
Re: Raising kids without bribing or threatening
Bribing is harsh word. Bribe means that you are asking to do something illegal or unethical. To develop good habits, we all get motivated by rewards. Kids are the same
Re: Raising kids without bribing or threatening
call it rewarding rather than bribing :)
Re: Raising kids without bribing or threatening
well to get my daughter eat food I promise her that she will get to see DORA and mommy will play with her on her white board etc etc and the thing that she finds most rewarding is that "mommy will take her shopping" but at some times I just make her do things without any threat or reward I just tell her that this is it , she sometimes cry for a few minutes & I let her cry and then she adjusts . It's very important for kids to learn that they can not threat us with their crying and that they will not get a reward for every good thing that they do............just my way of parenting :D
Re: Raising kids without bribing or threatening
my 2 yr old doesnt like cartoons or a nything.she just likes going out. so to make her EAT, we have to bribe her by saying we will take heer out if she eats. and no i find myself having breakfast dinner and lunch outside on the streets. she wont do anything without being rewarded, she wont even eat.
Re: Raising kids without bribing or threatening
That is it, I don't want him to grow up expecting rewards for things that he SHOULD do. But I am at a loss on how to make him listen without resorting to threats or rewards.
Re: Raising kids without bribing or threatening
That is it, I don't want him to grow up expecting rewards for things that he SHOULD do. But I am at a loss on how to make him listen without resorting to threats or rewards.
Kids do not like or do chores like adults. He should eat and cleanup but does he understand that he should, I doubt that. No kids do (I think)
He will eventually understand that he should but for now , you gotta make things that he should do, 'fun' for him.
I sometimes tell my toddler about superheroes and then we talk like how the spiderman becomes so strong after eating 'roti'. After dinner I let him beat me to some game so he knows he has become stronger after eating.
For cleaning up, I sometimes tell him that we will see who cleans up first and then let him win.
Once the child starts understanding and doing things it gets easier so you will not be rewarding the child forever for the same things.
You do not want to stop the child from doing everything. Pick and chose your battle as fuzzypeach said.
I sometimes let him run and jump and tell him he can do it as long as he does not scream. If he screams, he is not allowed to run around either. He will get a 2 min timeout. If he repeats, he will get a longer timeout.
Depends on the child as well. Some kids will listen if you tell them sternly while others will listen if you tell them lovingly.
Find out which tone works for your son.
If you dont mind, what does he not listen to ?
Re: Raising kids without bribing or threatening
Does not listen to me when I call him to change his diaper, when I tell him not to trouble his grandparents. I usually don't stop him from jumping on the bed, or running around. Kids are after all kids and we need to let them be.
I also get upset when he takes something like salt shaker or knife from countertop and I ask him to return it but he doesn't, thinks its a game so I'll run after him. (I can't run after him coz I have an infant in my hands that I'm feeding). And in case you are wondering sometimes I don't clean the table after dinner (hubby does) and he doesn't realize that Jr. loves the salt shaker so he leaves it on the counter or dining table.
Re: Raising kids without bribing or threatening
it sounds like your little guy is doing nothing out of the ordinary.....he's just being a shararti bacha......like any other. don't worry too much about it. he will grow out of these things.
the way I look at it......we are all "bribed" or "threatened" into doing what we need to do even as adults.
the difference may be that we see the 'bribe' as the "motivating factor".
e.g. if I work hard on this project I can earn a bonus at work etc
e.g. if I don't take my medicines my health will suffer etc
what you might consider doing is replacing the "material" bribes with an "activity" or "experience" bribe.
e.g. if you behave well you will get to watch TV
e.g. if you don't behave well you will not be able to play your video game