Re: Raising kids in a different culture
YEAH ???
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
Hey Hinn,
just read your thread...
I grew up in a non muslim country, as kids we used to celebrate christmas with christmas trees and gifts( my parents would get their bonuses on 23/24 Dec and that would be the time they probably wanted to buy something special for us! The nicest and most expensive gifts would always be for Christmas!); for Diwali we would go around looking at all the decorated houses and neighbours and friends would send us diwali sweets. I believe it made us understand and accept people of different religions more easily....and it was fun!!!!
Now that we're grown up, we understand the religious pov and we don't celebrate...and believe me , we are not less religious that we would have been should we not have celebrated!!!
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
Hey Hinn, just read your thread... I grew up in a non muslim country, as kids we used to celebrate christmas with christmas trees and gifts( my parents would get their bonuses on 23/24 Dec and that would be the time they probably wanted to buy something special for us! The nicest and most expensive gifts would always be for Christmas!); for Diwali we would go around looking at all the decorated houses and neighbours and friends would send us diwali sweets. I believe it made us understand and accept people of different religions more easily....and it was fun!!!! Now that we're grown up, we understand the religious pov and we don't celebrate...and believe me , we are not less religious that we would have been should we not have celebrated!!!
sweet.
thanks for sharing mermaid.. my heart says too that celebrating christmas in OUR OWN WAY wont make them any less relegious..
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
well hmm maybe I can help…well my brother had to grow through something of that sort because he was initially confused about christmas and wanted us to live in a house with a chimney so santa can come lol …anyways my mother never really worried about such things like him getting confused between eid and christmas because for eid we all had get togethers with our families and dressed up and we all got eidees and gifts…make sure your kids get the feeling of eid celebration and as far as understanding the other culture , this happens through watching tv, having non-muslim friends who celebrate christmas and school
bottom line is that don’t worry about your kids getting confused because if you teach them they’ll learn and understand and without teaching they’ll be confused , know what I mean…sit and have talks with your kids about what eid is and how we’re muslim, that’s how my parents made my brother understand when he was little and gradually they do understand
as far as the holidays is concered just go out for dinner and stuff just to celebrate the time together, don’t necessarily have to celebrate christmas to prove something unless you want to which is your own choice
my brother mashallah is a teenager now and goes for eid prayer with shalwar kameez and everything…what also helps is sending your children to sunday school maybe and attending community eid gathering or something
it’s just exciting for children to experience other cultural traditions because I remember loving halloween and watching those christmas cartoons but I knew that eid was for us you know and how we get gifts and get together with family as well on eid just like people do with christmas…so its just a matter of showing your children the whole eid celebration
and maybe a trip to Pakistan may help if your children haven’t been there …hmm in a year or two eid may come over summer vacation and it’s possible to spend eid in Pakistan just to show your children maybe i dunno…personally i know i would’ve loved to go to pakistan to spend eid there with all my cousins, aunts and uncles because that’s what eid is spending time with your family and i still haven’t experienced eid in Pakistan 
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
Just make sure they know the proper importance of Eid i.e. on eid day
- make it a point to not send them to school
- make it a point that you and the other half get a day off from work
- dress them up nice and tidy (not necessarily buy new clothes everytime)
- take em to eid salat, come back to a celebratory family breakfast
- spend the whole day taking them to visit relatives, family, friends, neighbours (especially others with kids their age)
- maybe a little talk about what eid is all about
- and if you want to go the extra mile even visit a charity, home for the old etc to instill a civic sense in them
- also if possible avoid talk of shopping and what savings youre getting and what deals you found.
on all that CHEEGUM said all i would add one thing, don fget to give the lil kids EIDI 
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
I used to enjoy Eid when i was younger. Nowadays id rather go to work or college. To me, in America, it feels like a useless waste of a day.
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
Lots of good advice here. Also, if possible, go to Pakistan to celebrate Eid with your family, if there are some there, from time to time.
In Indonesia (where I used to live), they have public holidays on the major occasions of all religions there (Muslims, Christians, Hindus, Buddhist, Chinese). It is normal to greet everyone on their happy days. Although, we were a bit apprehensive first, but we did not stop our kids to enjoy festivities of other religions. But they are aware that Eid is their festivity and their opportunity to call their friends to their place.
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
I used to enjoy Eid when i was younger. Nowadays id rather go to work or college. To me, in America, it feels like a useless waste of a day.
it is hard for ppl here without the family..
:(
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
awww Hin, thats really kinda sad. Why not invite some friends over - even if they havent a clue about Eid and what its all about? Chances are that they will greatly enjoy and you will be enriching their lives as well as yours?
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
oh no mama..i have tonsss of family here.. all my family plus hubby's family /.. i was only sad for Bidd3h for wanting to just go to work on eid and seeing it as a waste of a day..
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
i agree with all of you about making eid special... but the gap is that the whole world around u isnt celebrating eid.. they celebrate on the 25th of dec.. so just making eid special which can surely help but cant totally fill the gap of not doing anything on christmas..
the debate i am having with myself is..How bad would it be having a tree and gifts under it that the kids can open on christmas day... following some family get togethers..
I think the key is to not think about this issue too much!
We cannot ignore the Christmas spirit around us, but we can make Eid special. For instance, we can teach kids the value of Eid by makinga special effort to be together with the family, immediate and extended, if possible, make special food, exchange gifts, and most importantly go to the Masjid for Eid prayers. The environment there is very typical of Eid and can bring out the importance of Eid for us.
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
oh no mama..i have tonsss of family here.. all my family plus hubby's family /.. i was only sad for Bidd3h for wanting to just go to work on eid and seeing it as a waste of a day..
yeah it does come down to a waste of day once we're older and far away from family and family friends are too boring to be with and we just for once want to spend eid in Pakistan!!!
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
Listen, find a paki/desi restaurant and GO THERE on Eid....if you can afford it, invite some friends or co-workers. NEVER let go of your holidays and heritage, its a very important thing to keep and to have.
My parents were the children of immigrants, came to USA from europe and things were tough for them, they went thru the great depression and all. So they completely lost their heritage. We kind of know basically from which countries they came but we dont know of their heritage, cultural practices, ancestors etc etc and that really is a sad thing. When we tried to get info on ancestors we have only been able to get so far (not far at all) - wartime damage, fires, loss of records etc etc. So history of family is lost.
Keep your culture alive! Be proud of who and what you are, it will surely be a special gift that you can pass on to future generations. Family history is a VERY precious thing to have and one of the most precious of gifts that you can give to your children
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
welll,, aft reading this thread i wolud like 2 share my xperience.. I am justt 15 and I live a complicated life since birth.. I am actually 4m pakistan butt I live inn Saudi like since i was young and I study in US.. soo it's like,, in my winter and spring break I goo 2 saudi and 2 pak 4 my summer vacations.. lol.. I am in three different countries evry year butt evrywhere I wear my national clothes wenevr I feel like.. ppl actually appreciate it... There r only 4 muslim girls inclding me @ my boarding school.. sooo it's a totally nonmuslim environment.. butt I am stilll studying..
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
Listen, find a paki/desi restaurant and GO THERE on Eid....if you can afford it, invite some friends or co-workers. NEVER let go of your holidays and heritage, its a very important thing to keep and to have.
My parents were the children of immigrants, came to USA from europe and things were tough for them, they went thru the great depression and all. So they completely lost their heritage. We kind of know basically from which countries they came but we dont know of their heritage, cultural practices, ancestors etc etc and that really is a sad thing. When we tried to get info on ancestors we have only been able to get so far (not far at all) - wartime damage, fires, loss of records etc etc. So history of family is lost.
Keep your culture alive! Be proud of who and what you are, it will surely be a special gift that you can pass on to future generations. Family history is a VERY precious thing to have and one of the most precious of gifts that you can give to your children
I is the agree
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
sweet.
thanks for sharing mermaid.. my heart says too that celebrating christmas in OUR OWN WAY wont make them any less relegious..
but It will make them confused, we don't believe in the whole story behind christmas then why should we celebrate it?
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
Today on Christmas day, i felt really pathetic watching TV with the kids and every show was about Christmas and Santa Claus etc etc... Pathetic because i kind of felt a glimpse of confusion in my son's eyes... ..
I hope I won't have to face this situation with my children as I don't have a tv and secondly I do my best to make two Eids full of fun and joy.
Re: Raising kids in a different culture
^ Thats good...but do they ever bother u abt not having TV? or r they too young yet?